


Cycle

by thealigirl8



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-05-05
Packaged: 2018-01-11 00:50:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 51,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1166637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealigirl8/pseuds/thealigirl8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When souls are reincarnated life after life and are only faced with oppposition each life, can two souls fated for each other escape the vicious cycle to just be together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Life 1

Egypt 2602 BC

Changmi looked around the courtyard and saw only idiots. She was a wife of the pharaoh, Seungri, a minor wife only but still a wife. And yet, her daily life was swamped with idiots. The servants were too scared to do anything out of bounds of propriety and the other higher ranking people refused to talk to her, believing her to simply be a whore of Seungri’s. The only time Changmi got any sort of actual conversation was when Seungri visited her, and those times came few and far between as he had many wives and a country to rule. Her son, Jaehyo, was a great comfort to her but the little boy couldn’t fulfill the need for conversation that consumed Changmi. 

If only she could somehow become a major wife, then everyone would view her words as weighty and Seungri would come to her for political advice. Then, she thought, then her immense intelligence wouldn’t go to such waste. Changmi knew she was being arrogant but she knew her own value and her days of playing with Jaehyo and being entertained by performers were definitely not making full use of that value. She also knew that she was being greedy, wanting more when she had so much, but Changmi couldn’t but help that her heart longed for more, strove for more. She didn’t have a hard life by any means and her son was provided for, but Changmi was haunted by the feeling that something was missing. Recently, she had attributed this feeling to being a minor wife and Changmi had convinced herself that if she were just a major wife, or queen, then that feeling would dissipate. But at this point, she would just accept an honest discussion at the very least. Sighing with exasperation, she left the courtyard to retire to her own private chambers. 

She entered her bedchambers to find a new slave rearranging her blankets. New slaves were rare to come by and Changmi hoped that this distraction could provide her some amusement before the slave became accustomed to the palace. The new slave was short and round in all the right places. Changmi thought fleetingly that she was the exact opposite of herself, all skinny and taller than most men. She wore no kohl, as was typical for slaves, but her eyes were arresting nonetheless. They were the blue like the river in a way that Changmi had never seen before. It was a miracle that the woman hadn’t become a pleasure slave with a face and body like that. 

She was curious about the new addition but Changmi was too proud to ask a question; as a pharaoh’s wife, answers should be provided without her having to ask. Thankfully, before Changmi’s curiosity got the best of her, her apparently former chambermaid, HyunA, walked into the room. 

“My lady, this is Yunseo, your new personal slave. She was just bought today at the market so she’s still learning the customs but she’s a fast learner and will please you well.” 

“What of you, HyunA? Why are you no longer mine?” Changmi never really liked HyunA but she did not particularly dislike the girl either. She asked for the sake of asking more than anything else.

“The Gods are displeased with me,” HyunA replied vaguely, resentment evident in her voice. Changmi tilted her head at the answer. How HyunA should know that she displeased the Gods would have to be through some provincial sign or from Seungri, as the only one of heavenly lineage. But the bitterness in HyunA’s tone suggested that there was another true reason for her departure. “I am to leave for the residence of one of the Pharaoh’s close advisors to repent for my actions. I must go, my lady. Yunseo will more than fill my role.” And there was that acrimony again. Yunseo was somehow involved in HyunA’s withdrawal. Before Changmi could inquire further, HyunA took her leave. But as she walked away, Changmi spotted a nasty bruise poking out from underneath HyunA’s gala. Interesting….

With HyunA’s departure, Changmi had no way to soothe her boredom other than to pester Yunseo, who had moved on to tidying her possessions. 

“So, your name is Yunseo? That is a rather unusual name, is it not?” She asked. Condescension rang in her voice but Yunseo just nodded, undeterred. Changmi herself had a rather unique name but logic had nothing to do with her mood. “Doesn’t that get burdensome, all that expectation? It’s not as if your parents named you after something simple like the river or hope. No, they named you Yunseo, which I have never heard before, and people expect people with unusual names to be gifted and extraordinary. That has got to be a lot of expectation to live up to.” Changmi was aware that she was being uselessly difficult but she had no one else to complain to except for this one slave so Changmi planned on making their time worthwhile. It was not like Seungri listened to her anyway. And she still was not allowed much time with anyone else, how was that fair? Seungri might be a descendant of the gods but Changmi was only a human and she had human needs like physical contact and personal conversation. At least, that’s how Changmi justified herself as she took to bullying the unfortunately-named servant every chance she could get. 

The servant just shook her head and continued on in her chores. Changmi quickly became angry that this woman had the gall to ignore her. “Hey, you! Yunseo, are you mute or do you just choose not to speak?” The slave finally looked up from her work and turned her head towards Changmi’s general direction. 

“It is not my right to speak to a Pharaoh’s wife, mistress,” she finally said, in a gentle tone that rang with something that Changmi couldn’t identify. 

“So you do talk. Where do you hail from, Yunseo?” Changmi asked, hoping she was born in a far off, exotic land that she could describe to Changmi. The slave paused her hands’ movement and tilted her head at the question but did not reply. “By the gods, Yunseo, my slaves are not beaten for talking,” Changmi finally cried and when Yunseo’s eyes met her own then flitted away, she realized that was what Yunseo truly feared. She was afraid of being punished for speaking, even when Changmi had specifically asked her to reply. Changmi briefly wondered who her previous master had been that made her so wary of her mistress. She stored that thought away to further pursue later and got back to the task at hand. Changmi raked her eyes all over Yunseo’s body, searching for signs of physical abuse. She couldn’t spot any bruises or suspicious marks but Yunseo’s body was partially covered and there was more than one way to abuse a slave, especially one with Yunseo’s figure. 

“Be at ease, Yunseo, I will not hurt you; I just want someone to talk to,” Changmi tried to reassure her new slave but Yunseo’s eyes were still guarded. It would have offended Changmi if she was not aware of how creatively cruel some masters could be. She had heard tales of some that preferred to trick their slaves into trusting them only to punish them more severely for their naivety. 

“A lady of your standing should have many more interesting people to talk to, potnia,” Yunseo carefully replied. Slave masters were harsh and in Yunseo’s experience, the females could be the most cruel. She had not known this mistress long enough to get a feel for her intentions. Of all the responses Yunseo could have thought of, she was not prepared for Changmi, her new mistress and wife of the pharaoh, to cross the room and flop down on the bed, her body in a spread-eagle position. 

“But I do not really have anyone to talk to. At least, not anyone that has anything important or interesting to say.” She threw her head back so she was staring at Yunseo upside-down. “You would not believe how incredibly boring the people I am allowed to socialize with are.” 

Yunseo raised her eyebrows at the actions of her new mistress. This woman acted more like an eight-year-old brat than a Pharaoh’s wife, especially with her drastic mood-swings. “Allowed to socialize with? Certainly, a Pharaoh’s wife may speak to anyone she chooses.”

“I’m only a minor wife, actually,” Changmi replied, no small amount of bitterness evident in her voice. “Not quite important enough to warrant attendance to councils but still important enough to restrict my access to normal people who would want to talk about normal things with me. And my interaction with the commoners and slaves is extremely important, because it reflects back on the public perception of our family. So by important, I mean watched and carefully regulated.”

Yunseo’s defenses weakened slightly at this emission; she had never had a noble tell her the problems with their gilded life before. It was refreshing. “I did not realize there was so much politics involved,” she answered, waiting for a sharp retort on her lack of knowledge.

“No,” Changmi sighed, “you would not. My life is supposed to be perfect. I am the wife of the Pharaoh Seungri, a descendant of the gods. Our most dearly held secret is that our lives are terribly mundane.”

Yunseo almost laughed at how easily such a statement rolled off of Changmi’s tongue. It was fortunate that she was not a spy from a rival land; within months, she was sure she could obtain as much information Changmi knew and even coerce her into finding out secrets for her. Lucky for her new mistress, Yunseo had no interest in such affairs and was slowly warming to this woman-child. Time would tell if this was all some well-played act but Yunseo had a suspicion that the woman was being honest with her. 

“Well, I am sure mundane is still much better than the lives some people live,” Yunseo answered, gathering her basket of garments to wash in the Nile and making to leave the room.

“No!” Changmi cried, reaching her arm out toward Yunseo. Desperation can make people do strange things, even beg a slave for attention and conversation. “Don’t leave me just yet.” 

Yunseo paused in the entrance, not sure how to proceed. “Please stay, surely it would not hurt if you stayed and talked with me for a little bit.” Yunseo could see the anxiety in her mistress’ eyes and wondered just how deprived of company this woman had been. Nonetheless, she had a responsibility.

“I am afraid I must wash these, potnia. Perhaps I can find you later tonight, after all my duties have been performed, and we shall talk then.” Yunseo showed her mistress some pity, unable to resist the plea written all over Changmi’s face. 

“Or,” a mischievous look crossed Changmi’s expression here, “I could join you.”

Yunseo looked warily at her mistress. There was no way she was serious in that request. Pharaoh’s wives simply did not wash clothes in the Nile like a typical commoner. But Changmi did not burst out into laugher at her own joke or snicker at Yunseo’s disbelief; no, her mistress just looked at her eagerly from her position on the bed, waiting for her response. 

“Join me, potnia?” Yunseo repeated, not knowing how else to respond.

“Yes, join you. I have never washed my own clothing, how silly is that?” Changmi answered, quickly warming to the idea and she knew that her stubborn nature demanded she follow through when she had stumbled upon an inkling. 

“Why would you ever need to wash your clothes, potnia? That is why you have slaves,” Yunseo said, debating checking her mistress’s forehead to see if she had a fever. 

“So? What if I get lost one day in the desert and I do not have any slaves with me and I have to wash my clothes but no one is around to help me? What am I supposed to do then?”

Yunseo skeptically appraised her mistress. “I doubt that scenario will ever come to pass.”

Changmi strengthened her resolve, reminded herself of her position, and calmly pulled rank on Yunseo. “Well, it is not for you to doubt. I am your mistress and I demand you escort me to the Nile and proceed to teach me the ways of washing.” 

The ‘ways of washing,’ huh? Yunseo thought that Changmi made it sound so mysterious and exciting when it really was not. “The Pharaoh may not be pleased,” she countered, remembering her true master. 

“I shall go in disguise,” Changmi replied, a cat-who-ate-the-canary grin brightening her regal face. Yunseo sighed, knowing that she had already lost this battle. This would be an adventure indeed….

“Stop picking at it!” Yunseo hissed to Changmi, half an hour later. She could hardly believe that she was using this tone on her mistress but truly, the woman did not demand much formality from her. They had wrapped Changmi’s face in a veil that only left her eyes showing. It had pretty beads that made Changmi look mysteriously beautiful but it was Egypt and the sun quickly made the Pharaoh’s wife impatient to rip the thing off. When Changmi was completely camouflaged, the two of them snuck out using the slaves’ passages. It had been much less mystical than Changmi had pictured – there were beetles and scorpions scuttling everywhere through the pathways – but she was still determined to enjoy the adventure. 

Changmi had quickly learned that Yunseo would not engage Changmi first; she remembered her place as a slave. Yunseo would speak when spoken to, and even ask a question if she felt it proper, but she would never start a conversation. Although this suited Changmi just fine as she had always been tended to, she found herself determined to make Yunseo comfortable with her presence. 

“I cannot help it!” Changmi whispered back, a whimper bubbling up from her throat. “This is so hot! Was it really necessary to cover most of my face?”

Yunseo looked back at her mistress, dubiously. “Yes, it was,” she replied, unable to summon the energy to bicker with Changmi. She had only known the woman for about an hour and a half but she felt Changmi did not pose any threat to her. If anything, it appeared that Changmi needed her in a way no master or mistress had needed her before; intellectually, socially.  
“Are we almost there?” Changmi whined.

“Yes, potnia, we are almost to the great river,” Yunseo replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at the childish behavior. Truthfully, Yunseo felt pity for Changmi; her behavior only servedto remind Yunseo how young the woman was. The Pharoah often married girls far before they were ready to leave their homes.

“Thank the gods, I absolutely must cool off.” Yunseo did not reply to that, preferring to just lead her mistress further down the path to the Nile. 

No one else was there when they reached the river’s shore which made Yunseo feel safer. Entering the river until she was about up to her knees, Yunseo quickly began scrubbing the garments with lye. Always a quick learner, Changmi began to copy Yunseo’s actions exactly while enjoying the sensation of the open air and the water lapping at her calves. She turned to Yunseo, determined to start up conversation again. 

“Have you sailed the Nile before?”

“Yes, potnia, I once sailed on the Nile.” Well, Changmi thought, that wasn’t very informative. 

“Where did you go?” She tried again.

“Somewhere very far from here,” Yunseo curtly replied. Her past was not something she preferred to discuss. 

“How did you get back?” Changmi pressed on, her hands still, her garments forgotten.

“Slave traders.” 

“Oh,” Changmi replied, properly discouraged. She grasped for another topic to fill the silence. “Do you have any siblings?”

“Potnia, my history is not that important or interesting,” Yunseo protested. 

“I bet it is more interesting than mine,” Changmi said, pouting. 

“You are the Pharaoh’s wife, potnia, there can be nothing more interesting.” Yunseo dearly hoped that Changmi caught her subtle warning; talk like that could warrant severe punishment, even for someone as high up as her mistress. 

“I’ve always wanted Seungri to fall in love with me,” Changmi confessed suddenly. She could no more fight the words flowing out of her mouth than one can force water to climb back up a waterfall. “Since the day I became one of his minor wives, I have wanted our relationship to be filled with true love. If he made me a major wife, I would actually have a place among people,” Changmi said, unconsciously showing her desperate loneliness through her eyes. “Laugh at me if you will but since I was a child, I had this foolish notion of romance and love and marriage. It is not quite turning out the way I had pictured.” Changmi bit her lip, waiting for Yunseo to ridicule her. Even to herself, her thoughts sounded imprudent. Fortunately for them both, Yunseo was a kinder soul than that. 

“I am sorry, potnia. Perhaps if you just give the Pharaoh more time, he will come to love you on his own,” Yunseo assured, her words hopeful but rang slightly empty. From Yunseo’s experience, the Pharaoh was a selfish man only capable of loving himself – well, himself and power. 

“I hope so,” Changmi smiled wistfully and walked further into the Nile, gazing into the distance. She had completely abandoned the washing but Yunseo could tell from her face that she was in a deep thinking trance. Changmi needed time to think over Yunseo’s words; she could feel Yunseo’s sincerity but she could also hear the doubt in her tone. 

For her part, Yunseo could not believe her mistress was telling her these things. She knew Changmi was lonely but it appeared that she carried many secrets she no longer had the strength to bear alone. Changmi continued to stare into the horizon until Yunseo had finished all of the washing and called out to her. 

“We must return, potnia,” Yunseo said, feeling guilty at the disappointment that clouded her mistress’s face. 

“Must we?” Changmi asked, the thought of running away with Yunseo fleetingly crossing her mind. She knew she was placing far more trust in Yunseo than was wise but the slave hadn’t betrayed her yet and no one else had ever slipped her outside of the palace. 

Yunseo did not respond, figuring it was a question that required no answer. Her mistress finally left the river and joined her on the shore. “Your son must miss you, potnia,” Yunseo gently goaded. 

“Yes, my son, he’s probably the only one that noticed my absence,” Changmi remarked. At the worried look Yunseo gave her, Changmi quickly reassured her. “I meant nothing by it. Let us head back.”

Yunseo quietly followed behind her mistress as they made their way to the palace. Changmi rambled about this and that and Yunseo listened with one ear but her thoughts were on Changmi’s situation and what advice she could possibly give. 

When they returned, Yunseo politely told her mistress that she had to fold the clothes and that Changmi must go eat. As she made to leave, Changmi grabbed her by the wrist.  
“Thank you,” Changmi said, trusting Yunseo to understand her unsaid words. The slave searched Changmi’s face for any sign of insincerity and upon finding none, nodded. Changmi smiled and let go of Yunseo’s arm to go join those who had not even realized she was gone and probably would not care if she never came back. 

Their relationship steadily grew after that until the two were practically inseparable. Changmi told Yunseo everything; her secrets, her hopes, her desires, everything she had never had the opportunity to tell anyone before. In return, Yunseo finally opened up about her home and where she came from. Changmi discovered that Yunseo did in fact hail from Egypt, not some exotic place like Changmi had hoped and guessed with those blue eyes. She had, however, traveled quite far in a slave trade gone astray, to a place very distant from Egypt where the people had all black hair like Egyptians and the same dark skin but Yunseo said they were shorter and their eyes curved in a way entirely foreign to Egypt. Yunseo claimed that the women were completely covered from neck down in clothing and that their diet consisted of tiny little white pebbles. Yunseo described them much like grain kernels but she said she never grew a taste for the things and she did not have the opportunity to learn the language before she was sold back to Egypt. Her masters there quickly grew tired of her when she could not react to their demands. Body language can only go so far. 

As for her family, Yunseo still refused to discuss them with Changmi, leading the Pharaoh’s wife to conclude that some disaster had occurred. She did not pry; Changmi decided that Yunseo would tell her when she was ready. 

Changmi described the way she was presented to Seungri and quickly engaged to him afterwards. He was her first male suitor ever and her romantic notions were hastily squashed within their first month of marriage. It was difficult being one of so many wives. Jaehyo was her only salvation prior to Yunseo’s arrival, but Changmi thought privately that she had discovered another. 

In this fashion, Changmi and Yunseo trusted each other fully, depending on one another. There were rumors about the two of them but both master and slave ignored the spiteful whispers. They had each other and for the first time in both their lives, they woke each morning content and happy. 

Changmi had already given Yunseo her heart, in a secretive, undeclared way. All her thoughts, all her desires, and hopes, and secret worries, Yunseo was privy to. Seungri might be her husband but Yunseo was just as important, if not more so. Changmi felt the need to prove this connection with some sort of physical object so she told another one of her slaves, Suzy, to find a hairpiece fit for a Pharaoh’s wife. Suzy showed many items to Changmi but none seemed to fit Yunseo until she presented a hairpiece with the heads of falcons on each end. Yunseo was as smart and witty as a falcon, and Changmi knew instantly that the hairpiece was made for her. Changmi thanked Suzy for her hard work then hid the falcon piece underneath her blanket for Yunseo to find that afternoon when she made her bed.

Sure enough, that afternoon as Yunseo wrapped up the blanket to take to the Nile, the hairpiece fell to the ground with a clatter. Yunseo gasped softly and hurriedly picked up the piece, hoping her mistress’s hairpiece was not scratched or broken. Upon examining it, she found it completely unharmed and breathed a sigh of relief. Looking curiously at Changmi, Yunseo was surprised to find her mistress entirely calm and watching her. 

“Do you like it?” Changmi asked. 

“Yes, potnia, it is quite lovely. You would look stunning with it in your hair when you visit the Pharaoh tonight,” Yunseo assured, envisioning the hairstyles she could put her mistress in with the gorgeous piece. Even as she pictured it, Changmi wished dearly she did not have to send her mistress to that monster. Yunseo did not tell her mistress when she was summoned to Seungri and she made certain to hide the bruises afterwards.

“It is not for me, Yunseo.” Changmi was enjoying this game as confusion replaced the worried look that had been on Yunseo’s face.

“Who is it for then, potnia?” Yunseo had long before forgotten that she was not supposed to ask Changmi any questions. 

“It is for someone very special to me.”

Yunseo quickly ran over everyone special in Changmi’s life that she would want to get a present for but both her husband and her son were male and would not wear such a hairpiece. That only left... oh, Yunseo though, the present was for her. Changmi laughed as shocked realization appeared in Yunseo’s expression.

“Potnia, I cannot possibly accept this. This hairpiece is made for nobility,” Yunseo protested vehemently. 

“Nonsense,” Changmi assured. “You are very special to me and I want everyone to know that you are more than an ordinary slave.” Yunseo’s soul soared at her words but she did not know if she could truly accept it. 

“Potnia…” Yunseo did not have the heart to protest but she still felt the need to try. If she wore this necklace, Seungri would be sure to ask her about it and the other slaves would be jealous, possibly beating her just for spite. However, it would mark her as special to Changmi, and that did make Yunseo happy indeed. 

“I will take no further argument, Yunseo. You will wear this and if anyone tries to take it from you, I shall have them flogged.” Changmi took the piece from Yunseo’s hands and placed it in her hair, fixing it so as to maximize the full effect. Yunseo always looked striking but with the hairpiece, she looked positively exquisite. 

Yunseo stared at Changmi with so much emotion in her eyes that she did not know how to communicate with words. Changmi just smiled back, adoring the look on her only friend.  
“You look gorgeous,” Changmi finally said. 

“Thank you, Changmi,” Yunseo responded, her voice soft. It was the first time Yunseo had ever called Changmi by her given name. Changmi just nodded, not trusting her voice to speak around the raw emotion bubbling within her. 

With this new show of affection, Yunseo was certain that she could not let her mistress go to Seungri that night. The Pharaoh called upon her mistress once every fourteen moons and Yunseo had struggled for too long trying not to restrain Changmi. Gathering her courage, Yunseo grabbed Changmi graceful hands that had never seen a day of work, excluding that day many moons ago by the river, which Yunseo did. Changmi waited patiently as Yunseo seemed about to say something important. 

“Potnia…” Damn, Changmi thought, there she went with the formality again. 

“Potnia,” Yunseo finally looked up from their joined hands to meet Changmi’s eyes. “Please do not go to Seungri tonight. Stay here.”

Changmi gasped, that was defiantly not what she had been expecting. Her slave knew her desire for love between them, why would she want to take that from her? “Yunseo, I must go.”  
“Please, potnia, please. Just stay.” Yunseo begged Changmi, trying to communicate with her eyes what her body had been trying so hard to hide. Seungri would lose his temper one night and expose his true nature to Changmi, Yunseo just knew it. And she did not want that for her mistress. Yunseo would gladly take any pain if it would save Changmi from suffering the same fate. She was the only noble who had ever been kind to her. 

Changmi could see the desperation in Yunseo’s face but she did not understand it. Seungri was no beast to be feared. She was torn between Yunseo and Seungri but it was Jaehyo that helped her decide. If she were to ignore the Pharaoh, only the gods knew what would happen to her son. 

“I will be back before dawn,” Changmi said. She hoped it would appease Yunseo and she turned to leave. She was stopped by a hand on her kalasiris. When she turned to scold Yunseo, she found her friend on her knees, clinging to Changmi. 

“Don’t,” she repeated once more, her voice breaking. 

Changmi knelt down to meet Yunseo’s eye level. “I do not know what has made you like this, Yunseo, but when I return, you and I will discuss this.”

Yunseo nodded slightly, resigned to the fact that Changmi would always go back to Seungri. She only hoped tonight was not the night Seungri released his inner monster. 

It was not. Later that night, after they made love, Changmi laid in Seungri’s arms, drawing senseless designs on his chest. She longed to return to Yunseo to sooth her fears but she had to ask her husband something first. 

“My Pharaoh?” She was always formal with him, hoping it would show Seungri how she respected him so.

“Yes, my dear?” Seungri was usually more affectionate after sex, though it was not enough to make Changmi believe he truly loved her. 

“Have you ever beaten my slave, Yunseo?” She asked boldly, but she was betrayed by her eyes which refused to lift from Seungri’s chest. Changmi quickly grew alarmed at the way his muscles tensed at the question. 

“The puny one?” He replied, sounding calmer than his body would portray.

“Yes,” Changmi answered, needing an answer. 

“No. Not once. I never even go near her.” Changmi was no fool and she knew when she was being lied to.

“Oh,” was her only response. 

“Why? Is that what the wench has been saying?” There was a cold, emotionless aspect of Seungri’s voice that Changmi had never witnessed before. 

“She is not a wench. But no, that’s not what she’s been saying. She was just acting strangely tonight, that’s all. She did not want me to leave.” Seungri went stock-still at the last comment.

“Oh, she did not, did she?” Changmi could sense fury behind his tone and it scared her. Why should he be angry over something so small?

“No, she did not,” Changmi confirmed. She wanted to move on from this topic, hoping she had not gotten Yunseo in trouble. She turned in his arms, reaching up to kiss him as a distraction, but was pushed away harshly. Changmi sat up, gazing at her husband in shock. He had never rejected her before or been anything less than gentle. 

“I think you should leave. Go calm your slave.” Changmi’s pride was hurt so she hastily put her clothes on and hurried out of the room, angry now too. 

When she burst into her room, Yunseo stood up from her bed, rushing over to examine her. “Did he hurt you?” She asked, looking everywhere for injuries to match Changmi’s foul mood.

“No. He has never hurt me and he never will,” Changmi responded coldly, turning her rage on Yunseo. “Now get out of my room and let me sleep.” Yunseo stared at her mistress, hurt even when she told herself she had no right to be, and briskly left the room. The second Changmi was alone, she knew she had made a terrible mistake. With a dramatic sigh, she sunk down unto her bed. She could fix it all tomorrow. Yunseo would forgive her, Changmi just knew she would. 

The next morning, Changmi woke to the feeling of her hair being petted and she knew she was right. Changmi was a horror to wake but Yunseo found her weak spots that soothed her into consciousness. Only when she was feeling particularly affectionate did Yunseo wake her by smoothing her hair. Changmi opened one eye to the light, blinking up at Yunseo. Her slave smiled down at her, reassuring, and Changmi knew all was forgiven. Changmi matched Yunseo’s smile with one of equal brightness and got up to spend the whole day lounging around with Yunseo. 

That night, Seungri came storming into her room. He had never been inside her private chambers before and both mistress and slave jumped to their feet, one in surprise and one in fright.

“Changmi, I would like a word with your slave. It seems that she and I have had a misunderstanding. ”

Changmi looked at Yunseo, who was practically beside herself with fear. She did not understand what was going on here but she had no intention of letting Yunseo panic. 

“Could it wait until another time, my Pharaoh? We were just about to bathe.” 

“No, I need to speak to her now.” Changmi bit her lip, stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

“Well, she is my slave and I need her to help me remove my clothing. If you could just wait a little bit-“

“I will not wait,” Seungri replied, grabbing Yunseo by the arm and dragging her out of the room. “I am the Pharaoh.”

“Please,” Changmi grabbed his arm, a mistake she would later deeply regret. Seungri instantly turned to throw her off and in the sudden movement, Yunseo’s hairpiece fell. Seungri’s gaze locked on the piece, barely believing what he was seeing. 

“What do we have here?” He asked, bending down to pick it up. “Is this yours?” He looked at a trembling Yunseo. 

“I gave it to her,” Changmi replied quickly before Yunseo could answer.

“You gave this to her?” Seungri repeated, incredulous. “You gave a slave a golden hairpiece? What were you thinking, Changmi?”

“I -” Yunseo attempted to defend her mistress.

Seungri slapped her before she could get another word out. “You will not speak, slave.” He turned back to a stunned Changmi. “What were you thinking?”

“She is very dear to me,” Changmi replied, feeling somewhat foolish.

Seungri barked out a cruel laugh and grabbed Yunseo roughly by the jaw. “Did you hear that, slave? You are dear.” Yunseo flinched at his words and Seungri sneered at her. “You are never to see her again.” Changmi did not even realize he was speaking to her for a moment and the second she did, she protested. 

“Why? My Pharaoh, she has been nothing but perfect -”

“Silence!” Seungri roared, turning a furious glare at Changmi. “Learn some respect.” Changmi began to sob, dropping to the floor. She had never felt so helpless in her life as she watched her husband manhandle her only friend out of the room. She still did not understand why he was so angry about something so insignificant. 

Seungri returned to Changmi after all her tears had dried up but she had not moved off her knees. He tossed the hairpiece onto her lap and looked down at her with disgust clear on his face. “You would tell give such expensive trinkets to a mere slave? I think you have mistaken a slave for a friend, my wife.”

“What am I supposed to do while you are away? Not talk to anyone?” Changmi asked, scorn clear in her voice.

“You can talk to whoever you like, just not someone so far beneath you.”

“What have you done with her?” Changmi asked, fearing the answer. 

“I sent her away. She will serve another minor wife, one who will not forget their position and you will be served by Soyeon here. She’s mute and deaf so you will not make the same mistake twice,” Seungri sneered at Changmi and stomped out of the room, leaving his wife with the new slave who had followed him in.

Changmi felt her heart drop when she realized that she had been robbed of her confidant and now she was left with someone who couldn’t even keep up a conversation about boring, mundane subjects. It scared her how fast her world turned from the happiest she had ever been to the most miserable she had ever felt.

Days passed with no sight of Yunseo even though Changmi went out of her way to visit the other minor wives. She did not see Seungri in all that time either, too fearful of his wrath. Changmi finally summed up the courage to ask after Yunseo one day and she snuck into the kitchens to speak to Suzy. 

Suzy refused to let her help with any of the work, saying it was too low for a wife of the Pharaoh. Suzy was not Yunseo. Nobody was Yunseo and no one would ever fill her place.  
“Suzy, have you any news of Yunseo?” She asked, leaning against the wall and pretending to be nonchalant. 

Her blasé façade faded quickly when Suzy dropped the plate she had been cleaning. The slave froze for a second, afraid to answer the question, but she gathered her wits about her and began to clear the pieces of ceramic from the floor. 

“Has no one told you, potnia?” Suzy asked, surprised that her mistress had been kept in the dark. She really hoped Changmi was just joking with her because if she was not, Suzy had to be the bearer of bad news, and that could be hazardous to her health with Changmi’s temper. 

“Told me what?” Changmi replied, an ominous feeling of apprehension starting to creep into her.

“The Pharaoh had Yunseo stabbed and mummified. He said that she was a threat to Egypt and the gods said she had to die. She knew too many secrets from her time with you,” Suzy answered, silently hoping Changmi understood that she had no desire to follow in Yunseo’s path. 

“Stabbed?” Changmi repeated. Being separated from Yunseo was punishment enough but the thought of her dear slave dying because of her, without her, alone and scared, was too much to bear. 

She barely even heard Suzy’s final affirmation of “Yes, potnia,” over the rushing blood in her ears. This was it. Seungri had taken enough away from her without punishing someone else for her actions, and someone who was – no, who had been- very dear to her. Changmi stormed out of the room, away to plan some sort of revenge. Someone would pay for this. No, Seungri would pay for this; screw him being the Pharaoh, he had messed with the wrong woman and now Yunseo’s soul was lost to the universe. 

That night was their usual meeting and Seungri summoned her to his room as Changmi knew he would. However, he was not greeted by the freshly tamed woman he had expected. As they passed through the entrance to his room, Seungri was grabbed by the throat and shoved against the wall. 

“You had her killed?” Changmi asked, knowing the answer but needing to see Seungri’s face as he admitted his crime.

“So what if I did? You are still going on about that little mouse of a slave? I never should have brought her here; she was way more trouble than she was worth.”

“You brought her here?” Changmi repeated dumbly, not understanding why Seungri would personally buy a slave. The pharaoh had people that did those kinds of things for him. In fact, he had people that did most kinds of things for him. 

“I was getting bored of you and my other wives. I wanted someone new,” Seungri explained, waiting for his wife to comprehend the motive behind his actions.

“Wanted someone new? To serve?” Changmi asked again. Her mind had begun to catch onto Seungri’s meaning and suddenly she wished she it had not. 

“She was a bore in bed, actually. Well-trained for sure but she cried whenever I got a little too… rough. ” Seungri smirked in memory of his extra-curricular activities that he kept from all his wives. The man was cruel in his ruling of Egypt and he was no different behind a bedroom door. His wives were off-limits however, because people were sure to notice if they returned from his bed with bruises and limps, so he only unlocked that side of himself with his little side excursions. “I saw her in the market one day and I knew I had to have her. Her curvy little body was just too tempting. It’s a shame really that I had to have her killed. You owe me a new pet.” 

“Yunseo was no one’s pet!” Changmi screamed, restraining herself from slapping Seungri. She may want to murder the man with her bare hands but he was still her husband and pharaoh of Egypt. She would be extracting her own organs if she attacked him and her son needed her. “She was a good, kind, honest person. You had no right to treat her like that!”

“No right?” Seungri roared and was rewarded with the sight of Changmi flinching. “I have every right! I am the pharaoh of Egypt and I will do as I please. Who are you to tell me what I will and will not do?”

Changmi told herself that she did not fear this man and the thought of Yunseo prompted her to respond with far more spite in her voice than was ideal for her health. “I am your wife and the mother of your son.”

“That is right, Changmi. You are defined by your relation to me so I would watch my tone if I was you and put more respect into the way you act around me. Your little friend knew that much at least.” He sneered down at her as he spoke the words. 

The air hastily evacuated Changmi’s lungs as she was forced to picture all the ways Seungri had Yunseo “respect” him. All the times Yunseo would walk extremely slow, the extra clothing she wore on boiling hot days, the way she had flinched at Seungri’s proximity, it all made sense. And beyond that, HyunA and the other slave girls before her who had left because the “gods” were displeased with them. It all made sense. But if Changmi’s suspicions were correct, that would mean her husband had been doing this for years and it went much farther than Yunseo. She narrowed her eyes at Seungri.

“How many?” She asked her husband. When he just appraised her with slight confusion, she continued, “How many others have there been like Yunseo, Seungri? How many woman have you abused then thrown away when they bored you?” 

“Oh, that,” He answered, comprehension brightening his face, “there have been hundreds, at least. Although, Yunseo has been the first one that I have actually had to dispose of permanently. But that is your fault, is it not, my pretty wife? You ruined one of my toys with presents and ideas of importance and now I am going to have to find someone as beautiful and obedient as Yunseo.” A disgusting smirk covered his normally handsome face at the word “obedient.”

Screw it, Changmi thought, and she threw herself at Seungri, screaming as she clawed at his face like an injured cat. Yunseo was worth so much more than Seungri.

“Are you crazy, woman?” Seungri cried, trying desperately to capture her wrists with his big palms. “Do you wish to join your beloved Yunseo in the afterlife? Shall I send Jaehyo along as well?” At the threat against her son, all of the fight left Changmi’s body and she allowed Seungri to pin her wrists together. With his sudden power, Seungri pressed her against the wall, her restrained wrists above her head, in a cruel parody of how the evening had started. “That is what I thought. Now, since I no longer have Yunseo, and you have me all riled up, I think you will have to take her place for the night. How does that sound?” Changmi met his eyes with no small amount of fear in her eyes. He simply laughed and threw her on the bed. Normally, he left his wives alone but Changmi really needed to be taught a lesson in the chain of power. 

That night, as she was left bleeding and broken on his bed, bitterness coursed through Changmi like a poisonous river. She vowed to be more careful with her heart from now until her death. Not only had she lost the one person who she confided in, her husband had proved himself to be a true sadistic bastard and her hope of their blossoming love had wilted just like Yunseo’s skin as she was mummified. Her son was the only one left to her and Changmi vowed to teach him everything she knew; her temper, Seungri’s cruelty, Yunseo’s patience and kind heart. This way, she could honor Yunseo, if she could just teach her boy to be a little like her. But Changmi herself would suffer, shutting herself off from everyone because no one could ever compare to Yunseo. With Changmi’s guidance, Jaehyo would grow to be a strong leader and refrain from making all the same mistakes that she had. The mistakes that she would never make again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For historical accuracy, Changmin's name would be Hetepheres, Yunho's Meskenet, Seungri's Sneferu, Suzy's Beset, HyunA's Nkrumah, Jaehyo's Khufu, and Soyeon's Jendayi.
> 
> Also, i'm thinking about adding optional smut scenes for most chapters. Like, for this one, it would be the non-con between Changmi and Seungri. Thoughts?
> 
> I don't hate Seungri by the way, even though I always make him the bad guy, I just think he likes kinky things in bed.
> 
> This will be nine or ten chapters long, I haven't decided yet.


	2. Chapter 2

Life 2

China 1495 BC

Changmin strolled through the village market, looking for some pretty trinket for his wife, Sunhwa. She was upset with him for staying out too long at night and drinking with his friends – a habit Changmin had no real intention of remedying – but he thought that maybe he should go buy something to alleviate her anger. His wife was no one to trifle with. They had not married for love but she was an intelligent woman and Changmin had grown quite fond of her over time.

He glanced down at hair pins idly, wondering if maybe he should just give Sunhwa some cowry shells so she could pick out her own gift. Or would that come off as insincere? Just as he was about to give up and just apologize in person, he spotted a golden head piece with many chains and dangles. It would attach to the head by two hair pins in the shape of falcons and Changmin instantly knew that he wanted it. The piece looked expensive, as it was obviously exotic, and the merchant, Zhou Mi, had traveled a long way, but Sunhwa would be well-pleased with such a unique gift. Even as these thoughts raced through Changmin’s mind, he couldn’t help but think that such a piece belonged on someone else, that the true owner was missing it somewhere. He lazily searched the marketplace for someone missing an Egyptian head piece, not really knowing what he expected. 

That was when he spotted a woman he had never seen before. He thought that she would have to be from out of town because he knew everyone in the village. Wearing an ordinary pink ruqun, the woman was neither strikingly gorgeous nor outlandishly eye-catching but Changmin had this nagging feeling that he knew her. She was familiar to him and Changmin knew that she was supposed to be a part of his life somehow. All thoughts of his wife abandoned him as he dropped the head piece and began to follow the woman wandering from street stall to street stall. He watched her every move, fascinated, as she examined various products from jade to hair pins to bags of rice. She had a gentle, pretty face that expressed her every emotion from curiosity to approval to disinterest and Changmin hoped she never tried her hand at gambling because no one would believe a lie she told. Women weren’t allowed to gamble, of course, but Sunhwa told him that they still gathered in small, clandestine groups. She said that women will always do as men do, even if it is in secret. 

“Yunseo, what do you think of this?” A smaller woman, who wasn’t nearly as pretty or noteworthy, held up a dragon hairpin questioningly. The familiar woman, Yunseo as he now knew, replied in the most endearing voice Changmin had ever heard. It was soft with a ring of truth and strength to it that Changmin would be content to listen to for the rest of his mortal life.  


“It is rather lovely,” she replied, nodding at the vendor in respect, “but not quite what I had in mind for seeing my betrothed just a week before our wedding, Ara.” Changmin’s heart hurt a little at the idea of this woman with another man but his logical mind told him that he had no right to feel such pain and possessiveness for a near stranger. Except she didn’t feel like a stranger to him. And that scared Changmin at the same time that it entranced him. He was unable to look away even when his mind told him to run. 

The short woman hummed a little and replaced the hair pin, moving on to another stall. Yunseo continued her appraisal of the marketplace and Changmin continued his appraisal of her. Minutes disappeared forever as he gazed at her, an inner conflict warring between approaching her and leaving to forget she ever existed. He was so concentrated on watching her that he failed to realize she had noticed her admirer. Changmin’s eyes were trained on her small hands but when they ceased their movement, his gaze trailed up her body to see what had deterred Yunseo. 

His breath faltered for a moment when he discovered her eyes locked on his. There was familiarity in that look that rang true to his soul. He knew her and her gaze said that she knew him too. Their physical bodies were over twenty feet away from each other but nothing could get between the communication of their eyes. Changmin wasn’t confused about their connection when they were gazing into each other’s eyes. His wife and her fiancée faded away in the sheer force of their bond. It just made sense to be looking at each other and Changmin was filled with a desire to follow this woman anywhere. 

Their silent communication was broken by the short woman, Ara, calling out to Yunseo. “Are you ready to go? We need to leave soon or we won’t make the journey in time,” she casually remarked as her words shattered the cocoon around Changmin and Yunseo. 

Yunseo reluctantly tore her gaze from Changmin and replied “I’m not quite ready to leave yet.” She glanced back beseechingly at the stranger, not wanting to leave him just yet, but she was treated with the view of his retreating back. 

An overwhelming sense of urgency filled Changmin as he realized Yunseo was leaving and he sprinted back to the stall from earlier. He found the master of the Egyptian head piece.  


When he whipped out his pouch of cowry shells and grabbed the head piece, the vendor, Zhou Mi, said “I have to warn you; this piece has a background story to it. Its history is somewhat… unconventional.” 

Changmin couldn’t care less at the moment, each passing second Yunseo was possibly getting further away, and the history was fitting as their bond was rather unconventional. “It does not matter,” he said and shoved the shells into Zhou Mi’s hands, leaving before the man could protest. 

He ran back to the spot he had left Yunseo and sighed with relief when he found she had not moved an inch. Before he lost his courage, he strode right up to her and presented the head piece. She looked up with shock, but when she saw the piece in his hand, her shock turned to pleasant surprise. Her hand reached out for it before Yunseo remembered her situation and stayed her action. 

“Please, take it,” Changmin implored, not understanding why it was so important to him that this woman have the gift. She searched his eyes, about to respond, but her companion appeared out of nowhere to disturb their peace again. 

“What is this? Is he bothering you? Do you know this man, Yunseo?” Ara asked in a threatening manner.

Their eyes connected in a link of understanding before she whispered out a quiet “Yes.” The woman huffed and walked away indignantly but she didn’t miss the stranger’s gasp at Yunseo’s answer. 

Yunseo waited for her friend to get out of hearing-range before she spoke to this familiar stranger for the first time. “Sir, I can’t take this.” Oh, she wanted to, needed it even, but society demanded she reject gifts from random men. The man shook his head and placed the piece in her hand. 

“It is yours,” Changmin said, not really understanding his own words, “it has always been yours and it will forever be yours. Watch over it please.” Yunseo gazed back at him and curled her palms protectively around the piece. She nodded slightly, seeming to recognize his urgency that she should have it. And that he wasn't really talking about just the headpiece either. She opened her mouth, seeming to want to say something - anything, to thank him, to implore him to run away with her, something - but they were interrupted, as always, by her friend. 

“Yunseo! We have to leave now or you will not reach your fiancée before dark.” Ara appeared impatient and distraught, wondering why her friend would be accepting gifts from another man so close to her wedding day. 

“I must go,” Yunseo said to the stranger, still unaware of his name. Her heart and soul told her that this man was the key to eternal happiness but the feeling was so aggressive and sudden that he would have to make the first move. She needed to know that he felt the same way.

“I understand,” he answered, knowing he should let her go and not wanting to. He steeled his resolve and turned to leave her, to abandon this supernatural experience, but a sudden thought stopped his tracks. “Changmin,” he said without looking back at her. “My name is Changmin.” He knew that if he met her eyes again, he might not be able to leave. But he wanted her to know his name since hers would forever be imprinted in his brain. 

Yunseo smiled bitterly; the fact that he gave her his name simply proved their connection but he was unwilling to fight for her, to take a chance on them. A small part of her thought that it would have been better if he had not revealed his name, it would be easier to forget him then, but the larger part of her screamed that she had to know, to find him in the next life. For Yunseo was certain they would meet after this life; they were destined for each other even if it did not happen this time around.

Another time, another place, Changmin thought to himself as he forced himself to walk away from the mysterious woman. She intrigued him and he knew there could be something much more between them if he pursued it but he was too much of a coward to risk it all for Yunseo. Sunhwa might not be perfect but she was a good woman and Changmin was not foolish enough to put her, his title, and his land on the line for an unknown future with a woman who felt all too familiar. At least, that’s what he told himself as he hurried away from his fated one, putting as much distance between them as he possibly could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For historical accuracy, Changmin's name would be Shi and Yunseo would be Tu.  
> I really dislike Sunhwa so I was pretty happy that I managed not to paint her in a super negative light here.  
> Please comment :) Reading them always makes my day no matter how long or short.  
> Also, angellajoanne, I'm sorry I didn't reply to your comment but I thought it would be more fun if you found out from the story itself. Lol, but my sense of humor might be strange.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Sweden 362 BC

“Hurry up, soldier!” A voice called at Yunho, who was lagging behind the group. Yunho was yanked from his daydreams of exotic lands and, when he looked up, he realized that it was their leader, Changmin, who had scolded him. 

“Yes, sir!” Yunho yelled back, not wanting to disappoint Changmin. Their leader was riding around on his horse, checking the lines for anyone who appeared ill. Yunho quickened his steps so he was no longer an outlier but he quickly retreated back into his thoughts. They were on their way to meet the enemy but they were currently safe enough that he felt comfortable day dreaming. They would not be attacked until after they reached the other part of their army.

Yunho had always had this intense urge to wander, and wander far. He couldn’t shake the feeling that by traveling around, he would meet someone important. It was like Freya had sent down a premonition that told him the most important things in life could be obtained by traveling. Yunho had never been far from home and, despite his desire to travel, the current war was being fought on his home ground and Yunho would never abandon his fellow soldiers, especially his leader, Changmin.

Yunho respected and admired Changmin more than anyone else in his life, even more than his own father. Changmin fought with the ferocity of a man who had something precious stolen from him, the cleverness that came from knowing one had to wait to steal it back, and the humility of knowing it was the man’s own fault. Altogether, the combination made Changmin a rather determined (and difficult) opponent to fight and Yunho was glad he was on Changmin’s side. Even being on the receiving end of Changmin’s wooden practice stick could be brutal. 

However, Changmin also created quite a scandal. No one knew where the man hailed from or how he came to be such a skilled fighter. He ignored the more vicious Viking’s pastimes, such as tossing a baby into the air and trying to catch it on one’s pike, which confused the men since he was so ruthless on the battlefield. Changmin also never took local women into his tent, prompting the rumor that he preferred those of the same gender. Yunho defended his leader’s honor whenever the men brought up such things. It’s not that he had anything against such inclinations, what Changmin decided to participate in behind closed doors was none of Yunho’s business, but the men would never view their leader the same if the rumors were proved to be true. 

For Yunho’s part, he preferred women but he refused to marry. His mother attributed this to his wandering nature but Yunho knew the truth. He had this unnatural fear that by being married, he would miss out on an opportunity. Whether that opportunity be true love or an adventure, Yunho knew not, but he did know that he vowed to himself never to marry. His father thought that Yunho would change his mind as he got older but Yunho knew that aging would just increase and intensify his fear. 

“We camp here for the night,” Changmin’s voice boomed. The men all sighed with relief, drawing a chuckle from their leader. Their unit was only a small section of the Swedish and Southern Geat army joining up to fight against the Danes and the Northern Geats. The men scattered into groups of three and four; one building the tent, one searching for firewood, and one or two sorting the supplies and getting the camp ready. Yunho was naturally paired with Kangin and Yong Guk; they were not close friends by any stretch of the imagination but they liked each other well enough. Both Kangin and Yong Guk oftentimes left Yunho to sit with the other men around their fires. Yunho usually joined in as well and the soldiers would drink and sing around the flames, or tell stories of those who were waiting for them back home. Those were the instances that Yunho preferred to retreat to his own fire; he had no one waiting for him besides his parents. 

“You got the firewood?” Yong Guk shouted to Yunho, who nodded. 

“Is it wet this time?” Kangin joked. Yunho blushed; he had tried to start a fire with wet wood the first night with the group. He was raised in a slightly wealthy family so he had never had to make his own fire before. 

“Will you two ever forget that?” Yunho asked, half pleading. 

Yong Guk and Kangin looked at each other before bursting into laughter. “Probably not,” Yong Guk said, walking away to find their rations to heat over the flames. 

Yunho managed a little chuckle even though the joke was at his expense. Then, as if to prove them wrong, he set his wood up in the perfect arrangement and, using his flint, struck a spark on the first try. 

“So he can be taught,” Kangin patted him on the shoulder. Yunho rolled his eyes and focused on blowing the tiny flame into a large fire. Before Kangin had set up the tent, Yunho’s fire was strong and blazing. 

“I am a quick learner,” Yunho said, pride puffing up his shoulders. 

“Congratulations; you can officially do what most boys learn at age six,” Kangin retorted. One could not afford arrogance in war, even in a camp. It usually resulted in death. 

Yunho refused to let Kangin rain on his parade so he strode away to help Yong Guk with the supplies. Food and sleep were precious commodities when you were in an army. Their supper was scarfed down amidst light banter then the three went to join one of the larger groups. When one of the other soldiers, Jaesuk, Yunho thought his name was, began to describe his wife and five kids, Yunho retreated to his own neglected fire. He started to lose himself in his fantasies again when a discreet presence snuck up on him. 

“Do you mind if I sit by you?” a quiet but strong voice asked, next to Yunho’s ear. He would later deny that he jumped but shock can get to everyone, right? Yunho recovered from his less-than-manly shriek and turned his head to find their normally very charismatic leader silently watching him, patiently waiting for an answer. Yunho’s brain sputtered random pieces of thought as he tried to comprehend that Changmin wanted to sit by him. 

“Y-yes, of course. There’s no one else there, but it wouldn’t really matter if there were, you could sit there anyway because you’re our leader and….” Yunho trailed off, aware that he was making a complete fool of himself.

Fortunately, Changmin just laughed and said, “I will take that as a yes. Do you have a drink on you?” Yunho breathed a sigh of relief; drinking he could deal with, alcohol was an art that Yunho was well versed in. 

“Where would a good soldier be without his ale?” Yunho replied, grabbing a cup from beside him and handing it to Changmin. Great, he thought, now Changmin probably thinks I am an alcoholic who is usually drunk during battle. Stupid Yunho, stupid Yunho, stupid Yunho.

Changmin appeared to be watching his expression with a bemused expression on his face so at least Yunho wasn’t being scolded for his careless words. The leader accepted the offered drink and downed the entire glass in one, large gulp. He cleared his throat immediately after he swallowed; army drinks were always the strongest and most crude, not that Changmin was complaining. 

“Ah, good shit right there. I swear some of these men would sooner put their lives on the line for alcohol than for their country,” Changmin said, looking around with a scornful look on his face.

“Oh, I don’t think so, sir. They are just lonely and a little scared. A little liquid courage goes a long way here,” Yunho said, feeling the need to defend his kinsmen. 

“Changmin, please,” the leader said, a disgruntled expression twisting his strong features at the word “sir.”

Yunho laughed at Changmin’s strong reaction and tested it out, letting the syllables roll around playfully on his tongue. “Changmin.” Yunho decided that he liked the shape and texture of his leader’s name. “Are you sure, sir?”

Changmin practically gagged. “Yes. I am one hundred percent certain that I never need to hear that word again as long as I live.”

“But you are our leader. You should be addressed with respect,” Yunho protested. A man of Changmin’s talent should constantly be reminded how important they are. 

“I was not a leader when I was born and I will not be a leader when I die. I am a man just like you,” Changmin said. He rather hated any sort of formality. 

Yunho simply hummed; he did not agree with Changmin at all but he dared not disagree with the man again. A silence settled over the two men before Changmin spoke again, leaving the past issue behind.

“Got a pretty wife waiting for you?” Changmin asked.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Yunho over-corrected, a different emphasis on each “no.”

Changmin snickered at Yunho’s frantic hand gestures. “I just figured from your armband.” He gestured at the pink fabric wrapped tightly around Yunho’s bicep. 

“Oh, this?” Yunho raised his arm, examining the foreign fabric. “This is just mine. I always wear it. I guess I feel like I need it for someone to recognize me.” Why did he just admit that? Yunho asked himself. Everyone he ever told the real reason for the arm piece had just laughed at him and called him superstitious. He wanted Changmin to like and respect him and here Yunho was, spilling all his embarrassing secrets. 

But Changmin just nodded, not judging Yunho one bit. It was refreshing. “What is your family crest?” He asked suddenly. Even Changmin did not know why he asked, it was just a hunch. On what, he did not know either, but Yunho’s answer was of distinct interest to him.

“The falcon. Why?” Yunho responded. 

“I do not know, myself,” Changmin admitted. For some reason, he was happy with Yunho’s answer. 

Yunho shrugged, not about to question his leader. “Are you married?” He ignored the rumors he had heard, preferring to hear from the leader himself. 

“No,” Changmin disclosed. “I do not like the thought of attaching myself to one person. It feels like I would miss out on something if I did, you know?”

Yunho nodded; yes, he did know. “Is there a special someone?”

“Not really. I guess I just have not had the right chance yet.” Yunho hummed in agreement. “Sometimes I wish there was someone, though. It might make this whole thing less difficult.”

That’s when Yunho realized how lonely it must be, being the leader. He was respected by his underlings, not loved, and there was a big difference. Yunho snuck a look at the big man seated next to him and felt a pang of sympathy. This man had suffered so much for their land and he was paid in kind with isolation. None of the other soldiers talked to Changmin like a friend, just as their leader. This disturbed Yunho no small amount and he made another vow to himself right then and there; that he would be by Changmin’s side, always. 

“I do not know if anything can make war less difficult,” Yunho said. He remembered those who had fallen around him, the carnage he had already seen, and he was certain that no amount of love in the world could make it less horrific. 

“Perhaps not,” Changmin agreed. A solemn mood settled over the two men. 

“We appear to be out of ale.” Yunho turned over his bottle and one last drop fell to the ground, quickly soaked up by the ever-parched Earth. 

“Not quite,” Changmin replied, pulling out a flask from within his jacket.

“You had that the whole time?” Yunho asked. 

“This is only for emergencies,” Changmin responded. He took a deep swig from the flask and passed it to Yunho.

“And this qualifies?” Yunho asked, raising his eyebrows. 

“Most definitely. We need alcohol; we do not have any alcohol. That sounds like an emergency to me.” 

Yunho chuckled, shaking his head, but he lifted the bottle to his lips and swallowed a little sip. He didn’t want to drink too much of Changmin’s own ale. “So do you have any siblings?”

“I have eight; I am the eldest,” Changmin confirmed, taking another drink of ale.

“How old is the youngest?” Yunho asked. He was an only child, rare for his country, so it was hard for him to imagine so many people in one house. 

“The youngest is only two years old,” Changmin said.

“Two?” Yunho practically spat out his own sip. “Wait, how old are you then?” 

“I am twenty six years old.” Changmin’s eyes dared Yunho to say something about his young age. 

“So young,” Yunho stuttered out, trying to wrap his mind around the concept. “But I am thirty two.” Changmin’s lips twitched at Yunho’s confusion. “How come I have not heard this before?”

“Many people tend to associate age with experience and intelligence. My youth is something that many of our comrades would have an issue with if they were to find out.”

“Well they are just dumb. Age has nothing to do with talent at all,” Yunho protested, instantly defensive of Changmin. 

“Pride can do crazy things to people,” Changmin agreed, chuckling. 

Yunho found that even though he had just learned that Changmin was actually younger than him, that didn’t take away the respect he held for their leader. 

While they were talking, the night had dragged on and Changmin took in his surroundings to find it later than he had expected. 

“Well, I should turn in,” Changmin said and Yunho found himself disappointed. “I need to set a good example for the men. We cannot fight very well without a good night’s rest.” Changmin rose from his seated position, making for his tent. 

“Wait! Your flask,” Yunho raised his hand, still in possession of the item in question. 

“Keep it,” Changmin said, waving his hand in denial. “I have plenty more where that came from and you might need it.” With that, their leader walked away, leaving Yunho to stare at his retreating back.

Yunho clenched the flask to his chest. Changmin had just talked to him. Changmin had just given him his flask. Changmin had smiled at him. Yunho could not wait to write his mother and father about this. They admired Changmin almost as much as Yunho did. On the other hand, Yunho thought, maybe he would just keep it all to himself, treasured close to his heart. Changmin needed a friend, not an admirer, after all. 

Yunho caught himself yawning and thought that he would follow Changmin’s lead and hit the sack. They would be marching again tomorrow anyway and Yunho’s fire suddenly felt lonely without Changmin’s presence. Yunho slipped into the tent, idly hoping Yong Guk and Kangin would not accidently kick him when they slid in. He carefully placed the flask in his pack and laid down to dream of markets in far off lands and men too cowardly to take what was theirs. 

Yunho woke with a heavy heart but a smiling mouth. He was worried that perhaps their leader would picture last night as a one-time thing and would never speak to him again. Yunho wanted very much to be Changmin’s friend and confidant. So Yunho was very relieved when Changmin spoke to him in line while they were marching that afternoon.

“Hurry up soldier!” Yunho smiled at the words before he even glanced up to see Changmin grinning down at him from his mount. 

“Yes sir!” Yunho replied, cackling at Changmin’s reaction to that dreadful word again. He knew their leader dare not correct him in front of the entire unit. 

“You were not even lagging behind like yesterday,” Yong Guk comforted, after Changmin had moved on. “He could be more lenient.”

“Lenient?” Kangin replied. “Our leader has never been lenient a day in his life. Do you think such leaders are created through leniency?”

“Perhaps he was joking,” Yunho offered. He suddenly had the urge to keep their relationship to himself; he did not know how the rest of the men would react if they were to find out. At least, that is what the logical half of his mind told him was the reason. 

“Do you think such leaders are created through humor?” Kangin reiterated, raising an eyebrow at Yunho. The man in question figured it to be a hypothetical question and continued to march, at a faster speed so Kangin would not suspect that he wanted Changmin to come back and speak to him again. 

But Kangin’s words instigated a storm of thought in Yunho’s mind. Changmin had described much of his past to Yunho but he had left out his relationship with his parents. Yunho was very close to his mother and father so it was tough to imagine Changmin being anything but warm with his parents. However, Kangin had a point; their leader was far too refined and trained, as if he had been shaped for this role. Yunho made a note to himself to ask Changmin about it later; he wanted to avoid making assumptions that would get him into trouble later. 

“Changmin, what was your childhood like?” Yunho asked one night ten days later, having invaded their leader’s tent. 

Changmin was surprised by the sudden question and was weary of answering. “Why?” 

“The men seem to think that it was humorless and strict,” Yunho replied, waiting for Changmin to tell him that his upbringing was just like everyone else’s. He did not like the thought of Changmin growing up in such a cold and unloving environment. 

“Then the men are wise,” Changmin responded. He was trying not to clam up but this was a sensitive topic for him and the wounds were still raw. Not literally, of course, all the beatings he had received at his father’s hand were scarred over and white by now. 

“Oh,” Yunho managed to spit out intelligently. He was not expecting that answer and he did not know how to respond to it. Changmin showed no inclination to continue but Yunho had to know. “Well at least you had your siblings,” he offered. Yunho remembered how fond Changmin looked when he had described his younger siblings. 

“I was the eldest, Yunho. They were a comfort to me but I had a great obligation as the eldest to watch over them and be responsible for their actions as well as my own.” Changmin loved his little brothers and sisters, he really did, but sometimes he wished there had been someone his age to help bear the burden. 

“What about your friends?” Yunho inquired. The picture Changmin painted was not as bright as Yunho would prefer for his leader and he wanted to believe that Changmin had someone to turn to in his youth. 

“You are my first friend, Yunho,” Changmin admitted, a faint blush tainting his cheeks. 

Now if you had told Yunho two weeks prior that the fearless leader Changmin could appear adorable while blushing, Yunho would have laughed in your face and asked how many drinks you had. Now, Yunho had no choice but to file that image away to his permanent memory. Perchance he would tease Changmin for it years later when they could laugh together over it. But for now, Changmin had just exposed himself emotionally. The leader was vulnerable and Yunho had absolutely no intention of betraying that trust; he just was not sure how to respond to such a statement.

“I never had very many male friends either!” Yunho blurted out. He cursed his mouth vehemently; it never listened to his brain around Changmin. 

Changmin crooked an eyebrow at him. “So you had many female friends?”

“Umm, maybe?” Yunho replied. He did not want Changmin to think he was loose but he refused to lie to their leader as well.

“And yet you are not married.” Changmin was just playing with Yunho now but the tables had turned and he was enjoying his position of power.

“You already know the reason for that,” Yunho scowled, kicking around the dirt with his boot.

“I do not have too much experience with women,” Changmin admitted, taking pity on the uncomfortable man. Today was just the day for feelings, he supposed. Changmin did not like it too much; talking about emotions and such soft things were a woman’s job, his father said. But then, his mother ran the household behind his father’s name so perhaps Changmin’s father was not correct in assuming women were inferior to men and soft. 

“Do not worry, young one. You have much time left to explore the pleasures of women,” Yunho said, feeling his age. He then dared to ruffle Changmin’s hair and wink at their leader. 

Changmin blushed slightly and coughed into his hand, trying to cover up his embarrassment. In that moment, Yunho saw a young man who had been whisked away from his home far too early instead of the war hardened, experienced leader that Changmin presented in front of the men. And it made Yunho’s heart hurt for him. When this war was over, Yunho would be sure to take Changmin to his first whorehouse. The boy deserved it for all the hell he had been put through. 

“Sir, we just received the raven from our farthest scouts,” Minho, Changmin’s second in command, called from the flap of the tent. 

“I will be over in a minute. Make sure to have parchment and ink prepared for our corresponding message,” Changmin cried back. Yunho watched in amazement as the boy donned his leader persona around him like a cloak, transforming back into his public image. It made Yunho sad and proud at the same time, and that confused him.

“I must go,” Changmin said to Yunho, a disappointed expression on his face. 

Yunho inclined his head for their leader to leave. “Goodbye, friend.” Yunho did not know what possessed him to address Changmin so informally but the smile that blossomed on Changmin’s face made him glad he said it. 

“Til next time, friend,” Changmin replied in kind, grinning. He then left the tent to discuss issues far beyond his age and give orders that stemmed from a childhood of studying strategy. Yunho was left in the tent by himself, beaming like a fool. He quickly wiped his face of the expression and walked out to join Kangin and Yong Guk again. 

Their unit was involved in a little incident three weeks from that day. Apparently some of the enemy side had heard tales of their new uprising leader and sent out a small stealth unit to head them off. Changmin’s unit was making good time, set to link up with the main group in just one fortnight and meet the enemy in about five days after that. The men had stopped for the night, settling down for supper and another round of drinking and singing afterwards. Changmin and Yunho were sitting off to the side as per usual in their own little group. Changmin had produced an ale bottle that he had found in his pack, and the two men set about to drinking while discussing their future plans after the war. Changmin took the first big swig and passed it to Yunho who paused to answer the man’s previous question before he too drank.

“I have not really thought about it too much,” Yunho confessed. “I guess that I am just focused on surviving the war. I can figure out my plans after that.”

Changmin laughed, although there was a dark undertone to it, and agreed heartily. His laughing quickly turned to a coughing fit and Yunho chuckled at his friend’s plight. Yunho’s glee rapidly changed into alarm when Changmin gestured frantically to his throat, indicating that it was swelling up. 

“Shit! Changmin! What’s wrong?” Yunho cried frantically. He had experience in warfare but not medical conditions and he had no idea how to help their leader. The nearby men were alerted of the situation by Yunho’s screams and they ran over to see what the trouble was. Minho opened Changmin’s mouth wide, peeked inside, then quickly examined the ale.

“Poison,” he gasped. Unrest rippled through the men, who had no such expertise in this area. Changmin could not die just from one drink of ale, not their brave and skilled leader. Jaesuk, on the other hand, was well versed in such matters in his older age so he strode back over the Changmin, opened his mouth once again, and shoved his fingers down Changmin’s throat. 

“What are you doing?” Yunho shouted, enraged. He attempted to yank Jaesuk’s arm away but the man was stronger than he and barely budged. “You will suffocate him!”

“He needs to throw it up, get it out of his system,” Jaesuk replied. It was the only way he knew how to deal with poisons and until the doctor could be called, this was what would happen. Changmin scrambled away from Jaesuk’s grasping fingers, turning away from his men to vomit out of their immediate sight. Yunho jumped forward and held Changmin’s hair back while he emptied the remaining contents of his stomach.

“Will this work?” Yunho asked, scared more than he had ever been in his entire life. He absently petted Changmin’s hair, trying to comfort the younger man. 

“It should,” Minho answered for Jaesuk. He was not absolutely certain but as the second hand, it was his duty to calm the men. “You!” He pointed at Yong Guk. “Go get the doctor!”

“Kangin is already fetching him,” Yong Guk replied. 

When Changmin had stopped gagging, he wiped at his mouth, feeling ashamed for no reason at all. Yunho saw the expression on his face and yelled for a wet rag; he knew Changmin did not want the men to see him so weak. Before the cloth could be delivered to him, Jaesuk stepped in. “I am most sorry, sir, but you must again. We have to be certain to get as much of the poison out as possible.”

Changmin looked positively ill at the thought but he shoved three fingers deep down his throat obediently. He resumed his heaving and Yunho patted at his sweating forehead with the rag that had just been delivered. 

“It is alright, you are going to be just fine. Keep going. That is good, good job, you can do this, be strong for me,” Yunho whispered comforting nothing’s into Changmin’s ears. He wanted to reassure the poor man, who was literally fighting through an assassination attempt, as much as possible. The words calmed his racing heart as well. 

At least, they did until a cloaked man jumped out of the crowd, rushing Changmin with a short dagger. Yunho did not have the wits about him to act but Minho did and he intercepted the spy. Yunho watched in stunned silence as Minho quickly fought and neutralized the man, knocking him unconscious with his club. 

“This man is a Dane!” Minho announced, holding the unaware man up by the hair. “Chase them down men, there may be more than one in our midst!” The soldiers leapt at the chance for action; it gave them something to do other than worry for their leader. 

By this point, Changmin was on his third bout of retching and Yunho was panicked at finding his forehead much hotter than was healthy. Taeyang, the doctor, was finally brought over by Kangin, who had searched hysterically for Taeyang. He dropped down to his knees next to Changmin, taking in the bile still on his lips, his flushed appearance, and the swelling of his face. 

“How many times has he thrown up now?” Taeyang asked.

“Three,” Yunho answered. He was absolutely ready for the doctor to tell him that Changmin was going to be completely fine now.

“Good, good,” Taeyang replied, looking at Jaesuk. “You did the right thing.” Jaesuk just nodded, hoping he had not been too late. “Help me carry him to his tent; I am not sure he can walk in this state.” Yunho and Minho complied without complaint but Changmin was not happy with the concept of being carried like a weakling in front of his men. The leader was quickly silenced by another coughing fit and his men lifted him while he was distracted. Once in Changmin’s tent, Minho and Yunho placed him as gently as possible on his cot and turned to the doctor for further orders. 

“Get out,” Taeyang ordered. Yunho just gaped at him, Minho with a similar disbelief on his face as well. “I need to examine him to determine the full effects of the poison and how to treat it and I cannot do that with you two blubbering about. Go, make yourselves useful. Bring me the ale to test and make the bastards who did this pay.” Taeyang also harbored a fondness for Changmin and he wanted to see vengeance done. Yunho protested vehemently but was literally shooed out of the tent by Taeyang. Pouting, he strode away to take out his anger and frustration out on the stupid Danes who had attempted something as spineless as poisoning. 

All the enemy spies were taken into custody and tortured for information. As the men were anxious waiting for information on their leader, the torture took a rather creative turn. The men began to get restless, even of that, and it was ultimately decided that the spies would not give up any information that the army did not already know. The prisoners then lost their heads to Yunho’s axe. 

Yunho entered Changmin’s tent the very minute Taeyang indicated that visitors would be permitted. Minho tried to tell him that Changmin should rest but Yunho ignored him and rushed past him. He moved beyond the tent flap and tried not to be overwhelmed by the aurora of sickness that permeated the space.

“Hey you,” Yunho whispered gently, approaching his friend’s figure on the cot. 

“Did I scare you?” Changmin asked, coughing frailly. The small convulsion wracked his whole body and Yunho had to stifle the urge to hold him through it. He settled for collapsing into a sitting position by Changmin and dropping his head into his hands, wiping at his tired eyes. 

“Yes,” Yunho admitted, emotion coursing through his voice. Changmin instantly sobered; he had not expected Yunho to reply so sincerely. 

“I am sorry,” Changmin said. He was not sure how to comfort Yunho who appeared more haggard than Changmin had ever seen him.

“Do not be,” Yunho replied. “You lived. You fought through it. That is all I could ever ask for.” But still the man refused to move his head from his hands.

“Lift your head, soldier,” Changmin commanded, concerned. He was not prepared for the sight of tears streaming down Yunho’s normally cheerful face. “Why do you cry? I thought you were grateful that I lived.”

Yunho cracked a weak smile, trying to stifle his tears. “Do you know what I just went through? We were not sure you would make it through, Changmin.” He almost reverted to addressing Changmin as “sir” but remembered at the last moment how the man hated his title. Yunho had kept himself together while they waited for news of their leader but now he cried; the emotional distress was just too much for him to handle. 

“What you went through? Was I not the one who was poisoned?” Changmin joked, not appreciating Yunho’s tears one bit. Way to make a man feel guilty right after he returned from the brink of death, he though. 

“Do you have any idea how worried I was? We would have had no leader and your siblings would have been robbed of their eldest brother. You are so young; you never would have known a woman or gotten married or had little runts. You are never to do that to me again, do you understand?” Yunho ignored the fact that he was ordering their leader around; he was more concerned with making sure his friend never did anything dangerous again. Ignore the fact that they were fighting a war and Yunho’s logic might have made sense. 

“I shall endeavor not to,” Changmin consented quietly. He had never seen Yunho look so distraught before. 

“Good,” Yunho chuckled, “or I will sleep with all of your sisters.” He punched Changmin on the shoulder and almost broke down again at the way their courageous leader flinched from such a weak hit. 

“Come now,” Changmin pleaded, “womanly does not become you. Be strong.” His father’s training ran deep in his blood and there were some lessons he would never shake free of. 

Yunho nodded, not insulted in the least. He was just happy that Changmin could speak at all. “I am fine,” he said. Eventually, the overflowing emotion subsided and he could wipe his eyes of the resident water. 

“I should hope so. I am the one who was poisoned after all,” Changmin reminded him. 

“What did the doctor say?” Yunho inquired, remembering how the other man had taken absolutely forever to reappear from Changmin’s tent.

“No more training for at least four days. He says I need time to completely release the poison from my system,” Changmin smiled weakly. 

“So what exactly can you do before then?” Yunho teased, the sparkle slowly resurfacing in his eyes. 

“Ride a horse. Eat. Sleep. Drink. Sleep,” Changmin pouted, reverting to a five year old stage. 

“That would not sound half bad if the food was decent and the beds comfortable,” Yunho replied, thinking of his own bed at home. 

“It is difficult to command an army from a cot,” Changmin said, trying to think of how the men’s image of him would be tarnished by this accident. 

Yunho instantly followed Changmin’s train of thought and frowned. “Well you will have to make it work. Now is not the time to be thinking of your reputation, Changmin. You need to focus on your health.”

“You sound like my childhood nurse,” Changmin whined. 

“Then your nurse was correct!” Yunho snapped, glaring his friend into submission. 

Changmin did not respond to that and Yunho decided to take it as a mark of obedience.

The following days passed quickly with the men training extra hours and with renewed passion. The whole unit felt the need to prove to Changmin that they would not let him down. For his part, Changmin spent his time either being coddled by Yunho or reading strategy books from his father. They continued to march as Changmin was determined to keep himself upright on a horse. 

Before he knew it, Changmin was healthy again and ready to get his vengeance on the Danes and the Northern Geats. Yunho would attribute Changmin’s fast recovery to his incessant babying but Changmin just preferred to think that he had a strong immune system. The unit met up with the other Swedes and Southern Geats just one day late and after a quick meeting with the general, it was decided that Changmin’s unit would go in first and lead the charge. Yunho called it death; Changmin called it an opportunity to prove their worth. 

The day of the conflict began much as any other day. This time, there were no surprises by the Danes, and Changmin’s unit prepared for battle with a light air. They knew that many of them would not make it back so why ruin their last day with morbid thoughts and melancholy?

Changmin marched into battle on foot. He was determined not to give himself an advantage over his men. There was no epic speech to lift the men’s morale; his men took enough strength form the fact that Changmin would be right there with them. Together, the unit led the way to battle, meeting the Danes and the Southern Geats head on. 

Yunho made sure to stay close to Changmin through the chaos. He trusted their leader to fight as well as he always did but Yunho kept one eye on him at all times. He was too paranoid about the last incident to do otherwise. If a Dane should try to sneak up on him, Yunho would take care of him. Changmin quickly adapted to Yunho’s presence and the two began to fight together as a pair. It was a magnificent sight to witness, both sides would attest to that. Yunho and Changmin fought as if they were born and raised together, constantly aware of the others’ movements and making up for each other’s lacking areas. Where Changmin’s battle axe could not reach, Yunho’s double-edged spear could and where Yunho let a man through his defenses, Changmin cut him down instantly. They battled as if they were dancing. When Yunho’s spear was broken, Changmin bought him enough time to grab a sword from him side. They fought like this, barely suffering a scratch on either of them until Yunho spotted movement far off that caught his attention.

Suspicious, Yunho turned to see the cause of this motion and spotted an archer on a hill nearby, not joining the fury, and before he could wonder about the strange strategy, the archer took up his bow and aimed it at Changmin. Those cowards were trying to eliminate their leader! Yunho had but a split second to decide what to do before the archer released his arrow and the man was forced to act. But it wasn’t really a decision at all, not for Yunho. He would gladly die for Changmin, a thousand times over.

Yunho jumped in front of Changmin, screaming out his name as he went. The arrow embedded itself in his left breast, hitting the lower end of his heart. Apparently, Yunho thought fleetingly, the Geats really were the best archers because none of the Swedish or Danish men could have made that impressive shot. Changmin turned at the cry of his name and his battle-trained reflexes moved his arm into throwing a dagger towards the archer the second he spotted him. Only after the archer had keeled over, incapacitated, did he realize who had saved his life. 

“Yunho! You goddamn idiot, what were you thinking?” He knelt down next to the only man he called a friend, the man he had been hoping wouldn’t leave him until they were both very old and balding. Changmin knew from his previous war experience that the wound was fatal and Yunho had minutes at best to live. With that knowledge, Changmin was also aware that removing the arrow would only expedite Yunho’s death and, call him a selfish bastard for causing his friend further pain, but Changmin wanted a few more moments with Yunho.

“You are our leader,” Yunho replied, smiling weakly at the man clinging to him so desperately. “Our men need you to lead them in battle. I am just one soldier, the war will continue on without me.”

“You dumb ass, one life is just as equal to another,” Changmin scolded, upset that Yunho took the easy way out. It would have been easier for Changmin to die for Yunho than to live without him. He supposed it was the same on Yunho’s end and he cursed the man for being selfish.

“Not everyone is equal, Changmin, and you know it. Now stop being stubborn and help me pull the arrow out.” Yunho saw the pain in his friend’s eyes and regretted his words almost instantly. He knew as well that removing the arrow would cause his death but the flames of pain crept so close to burning his soul that he just wanted it to be over. He wanted time with Changmin as well but the pain was clouding his every thought and he did not know what he would confess if the madness was left to eat away at his sanity. That Changmin was his only true friend? That he wanted to grow old with the man he respected above all others? That he kept the flask Changmin gave him under his pillow at night as a reminder that someone out there loved him enough to watch over him? 

Yes, Yunho loved Changmin and he knew that their leader loved him back. Not in the way he had loved his multiple summer flings but in a different, more gentle way. The kind that you could cuddle with on a dark night because you knew that you always had someone that would back you up in a struggle. He saw the worry and concern and was-that-betrayal? flashing across Changmin’s face and Yunho smiled at himself. Yes, Changmin loved him back. Yunho felt the need to comfort his friend and reassure him that they would be alright, even if it didn’t seem like it. 

“Do not worry, Changmin, the Valkyrie will come and take me far away from here. We will be together again soon in Valhalla, but make sure it is not too soon. Our men need you.”

“I need you,” Changmin countered, not knowing if he could continue on without Yunho, especially since the older man’s death was his fault. He just could not shake the feeling that they had been here before, that he had lost Yunho before. 

Yunho felt that perhaps this was the chance that he had been waiting for to travel. It was not exactly the destination he had in mind, but it was quite a journey. He knew that he would miss Changmin but his death was only another beginning to a different chapter. A dark thought crossed his mind as he thought about his previous statement. Yunho wouldn’t put it past his leader to take his own life after the battle, just to atone for Yunho’s death, as well as find him again in Valhalla. That thought disturbed him far more than he thought and suddenly it became extremely important that Changmin live his life to the fullest without him. Yunho would have his turn to leave Changmin later. 

“Promise me we will be victorious, Changmin. We will win this war and when it is all over and your name is sung in tales throughout the land, promise me that you will settle down with a good woman and have little kids. Stubborn boys that fight like you and little girls with your crooked smile. You have to be happy even when I am not with you.” Yunho’s eyes bored into Changmin’s skull as he dared his leader to deny a dying man’s last wish. “Promise me Changmin.”

Changmin was surprised by the steel in Yunho’s voice and the fire behind Yunho‘s eyes. He knew then that his friend would find some way to punish him eternally if he denied his request. “I promise,” he finally conceded with a defeated voice. Unfortunately for Yunho, Changmin wasn’t sure he could ever truly be happy with him.

“Good,” Yunho breathed a sigh of relief. With Changmin’s word, he felt that he could let go of this life and discover a new one in the Hall of Valhalla, among other warriors like himself. It would be an adventure, the adventure he never had while on Earth. He reached for Changmin’s hand and wrapped it around the shaft of the arrow, underneath his own hand. When his friend’s eyes met his own from Changmin’s bent head, Yunho giggled a little at the confusion and shock he found there. “I need you to help me with one more thing,” Yunho said, knowing that he couldn’t take the arrow out on his own; he didn’t have that kind of courage without Changmin. 

The leader began shaking his head frantically when he finally understood the dark meaning behind Yunho’s actions. “No, no, I can’t, Yunho. I can’t take your life.”

“You gave me life,” Yunho replied in the biggest show of affection he ever awarded Changmin. His friend halted the hysterical movement of his head at Yunho’s words but still couldn’t move his hand. “Please, Changmin, it hurts, it hurts so bad and I cannot take it out myself.”

Changmin couldn’t stand the sight of his friend begging but he just couldn’t force his muscles into motion. Every cell of his body protested Yunho’s death even as his mind knew that it was a certainty. “I just... I can’t.”

Yunho saw the struggle behind his friend’s eyes and he took pity on the man. “Yes you can Changmin. You’re strong, strong enough to do this for me.” But there was still hesitation written on Changmin’s face. “You are the only one I would trust with my life, Changmin, please, trust me with my death now. Please.” Yunho’s hand moved up to wipe the tears off Changmin’s face and it was as he comforted his friend even in his dying moments that Changmin knew that he had to do it. 

Changmin turned his head to kiss Yunho’s palm, then looked down into his friend’s eyes, wanting to comfort Yunho just like the man did for him. His hand tensed around the wooden arrow and together, Yunho and Changmin pulled out the obstruction. Yunho’s bleeding resumed at a new, rapid pace but the expression on his face wasn’t scared as he looked into Changmin’s eyes; it was serene. 

“Thank you,” he whispered. 

And then Yunho calmly closed his eyes, at peace, and began his journey away from Earth’s physical surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For historical accuracy, Yunho's name would be Úlfarr, Changmin's Ingibjörn, Taeyang's Aghi, Yongguk's Egill, Kangin's Agmundr, and Minho's Vigi. 
> 
> Did you guys like the switch-er-roo I did there? Changminnie's the leader instead of Yunho, he has the bigger family, and he was poisoned :( And Yunho hero-worships him. It felt slightly weird but I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> Ah~! You guys have no idea how difficult it is to not reply to your comments with spoilers. I was like "I must resist. I must resist!" I don't want to give anything away before it's revealed in the story. So, as y'all can see, the headpiece will not follow them from life to life, it was just connecting the first and second lives. Also, their names stay the same because historically, they would be what I have in the notes in each chapter anyway. I already picked names for them but I thought it would be too confusing. So they shall stay Yunho/Yunseo and Changmin/Changmi. 
> 
> Keep commenting, y'all! Even though I get frustrated when I can't respond, I love to read them. Comments are like an instant pick-me-up whenever I read them. So let me know what you thought, good or bad :)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Japan 1189

Changmi eyed the horizon with an observant gaze. Yunho was supposed to come home today. He had been gone for months, fighting Taira warriors that refused to accept the change in power. Her husband was a samurai and he took great pride in the title but Changmi often wished that he could have a normal job like a merchant or a farmer so he could be home with her more often. 

Yunho loved to travel to far off places and he lived for the thrill of defeating a particularly skilled opponent. He would write her letters describing all his tales of adventure and bring her home gifts from exotic places but it never felt like enough. Letters and trinkets were nothing compared to Yunho’s actual presence. 

Changmi would hate to take away something so important to her husband, something that made him thrive with life, so she tried not to persuade him too much away from it. That didn’t stop her from wishing he would retire though. She thought sometimes that maybe it would have been better if she had been a samurai as well. She didn’t lack the intelligence or the strength. While Yunho was away, Changmi was in charge of the peasants that owed them loyalty and she kept strict records on any problem that required her wisdom. Yunho had taught her years ago how to fight, in case a rival clan decided to attack their home. Changmi had an affinity for it, instantly showing skills in weapons she had never held before. Yunho said it was a sign from the gods and a blessing on a samurai’s wife but he refused to teach her anything beyond the basic skills, saying that he didn’t want it to tempt her to follow him to battle. It was scary how well he could read her mind. If it weren’t for her responsibilities at home and Yunho’s stern words, Changmi would have followed him without a moment’s doubt. 

But after all her waiting, Yunho was going to be home tonight. At least, that was what he had specified in his last letter, but it would not be the last time Yunho had been distracted by a new task or required to help by other samurais. Either way, Changmi had cleaned their house top to bottom, making sure everything was flawless. She sent the neighbor boy away, not to return for weeks, until Yunho left again. Everything was absolutely perfect; all Changmi needed now was Yunho. Ignoring proper conduct, Changmi took a cloth and waited for Yunho outside, sitting on the ground. She did not want to miss a second of Yunho, even if it was just him on his horse. Changmi had been waiting outside all day, just in case Yunho had managed to come home early. She did not eat; what if Yunho returned while she was fetching food? Changmi did not burden herself with mending or any games to take her mind off the waiting; she simply sat there on her cloth and waited, watching. 

When the sun began to set, Changmi did not lose hope. She sat there faithfully. When the crickets began to chirp and the frogs began to croak, Changmi barely blinked. Yunho was coming home. She knew she was waiting, just like she was always waiting, but this time she knew Yunho was coming back. He was riding back to her right now, instead of riding away to another fight. 

The moon shone down on Changmi, bright and clear in its pity for the woman. It was with this light that Changmi finally spotted a moving figure in the distance. She tried to still the treacherous hope rising in her throat, knowing that it could simply be any rider. Their home was a little out of the village bounds so they did not see many visitors but it was not completely unheard of. As the figure rode closer, Changmi recognized the horse, Takeshi, and the foreign bow that Yunho insisted on carrying but never using. It was Yunho! He was finally home! 

Forgetting propriety, Changmi ran towards Yunho. Her husband swung down from his horse, trusting Takeshi not to gallop too far away from him. Laughing, Yunho opened his arms for Changmi to jump into. Changmi threw her arms around his neck and Yunho lifted her, spinning her around, before setting her back down on her own feet and kissing her. Changmi clutched him to her, feeling complete again, as she kissed him back with all the loneliness she had endured while he was gone. 

When Yunho finally pulled back for the necessary air, Changmi began to attack his face and neck, peppering them with kisses. Yunho laughed giddily from the attention and from excitement to be home. “Why hello, Changmi.”

“Be quiet,” Changmi replied, turning his face back down to reconnect their lips. Yunho responded, laughing into Changmi’s mouth but not resisting. 

“Should we be doing this out in the open?” Yunho asked when his mouth was available for speaking again. 

“No one is around,” Changmi protested, still kissing every part of him she could reach. She would never be able to get enough skin contact with him. 

“Just let me take care of Takeshi,” Yunho consoled, pushing his wife away playfully. Changmi pouted and Yunho had to press a kiss to her forehead in response. “Then I am all yours,” he finished, grinning. 

Changmi’s mouth transformed from a cute pout to a mischievous smirk and she walked away to the house, adding a little extra swish to her hips. Yunho shook his head, reminding himself to concentrate; just get the hips. No the horse! Just put the horse away, then follow wife to bedroom. Yunho scampered over to Takeshi and quickly ushered him into the pasture after removing his equipment. 

“I will brush you extra long later, Takeshi,” he promised the horse. “But you understand right?” Takeshi whinnied, as if to ask him why Yunho was still here when his wife was in the house. “I knew you would,” Yunho grinned and left Takeshi for Changmi. He entered the house to find Changmi completely naked and impatient. It was a good welcome home ceremony. 

Later, while they were lying together on their mat, Yunho described to Changmi all the places he had been and all the people he had met. Changmi nodded, awed at all of Yunho’s activities, but inside she was bitter. Why did Yunho get to have all the adventures? Honestly though, that was not even why Changmi was upset. If Yunho got to go to far off places, then she should go with him. If he had to stay home, then she would stay with him. Changmi would go wherever Yunho went, as long as they got to stay together. But for now, she thought, Yunho was home. So Changmi tried to put her resentment to rest and simply enjoy the time they had together. 

The next day, Yunho told Changmi that he only had eleven days to spend with her before he was being sent out on a mission again. Changmi sighed deeply but abided her time, promising herself that she would ask him about it later. They spent their second day together in bed, laughing and kissing and just being together. There was no one, no world, that existed beyond themselves and Changmi could not have been happier. That was what she always wanted, that little world that only consisted of them. It was her Nirvana. 

The third day, Yunho insisted that they be productive, or at least get out of bed, so Changmi spent the day teaching him how to cook. Yunho knew how to make the basics, in case he was left alone on a mission, but Changmi’s meals were the stuff of legends. She did not so much teach him how to cook, but more so that they made a feast together. Changmi had to tell Yunho how to do each step but neither of them minded and, when they finally ate the fruits of their labor that night, it tasted of love and perfection. Changmi beamed when Yunho told her that everyone else’s cooking paled in comparison to hers whenever he was on the road. It was the truth, he insisted. Changmi did not tell him that was because she practiced endlessly while he was away so that Yunho would always have the very best chef for a wife. 

On the fourth night that Yunho was home, Changmi finally got up her courage to ask Yunho what she had been meaning to for months now. It was a touchy subject but Changmi couldn’t stand to leave things be anymore. They were getting older and this behavior needed to stop soon. 

“Otto-san, have you thought about retiring at all?” She asked. Her main reasons were selfish but Yunho was no longer as young as he used to be and his deteriorating reflexes were bound to kill him one day if he didn’t give up fighting. Most samurai found their end that way and Changmi wanted her husband to die peacefully with her in their house. Call her self-centered but Changmi wanted Yunho to live a long, full life. 

Yunho looked up from his food, shocked at the turn of the conversation; they had previously been discussing whether or not Takeshi was getting too old and if they needed to buy a new horse to replace him. “Of course not, why would I ever think of retiring?”

“Well, you’re getting a little older and if we want to have a family, it would be better for the children if you didn’t risk your life daily,” Changmi replied, listing just a few of the many reasons Yunho should retire his samurai katana. 

“I am not that old, Changmi, and if you want children, we shall have them. I grew up without my father around and I turned out just fine. Do you not believe in my ability as a samurai?” Yunho asked, his pride wounded.

“Well, of course I do but even the best samurai will be defeated one day and I want our children to have a father as long as possible,” Changmi knew that his male ego would deafen him to her plea if she was not careful.

“When the day comes that I pass on, we shall take it as a sign from the gods and accept it as their plan for our family,” Yunho asserted, not understanding why his wife was being so uselessly difficult. Retirement was not an option for him. 

“Why can their plan not involve you peacefully at home with your wife and children surrounding you?” Changmi pressed on. 

“I do not know, I try not to make a habit of questioning the gods,” Yunho replied tersely, ready to move on to a new subject, or even silence. Changmi breathed a deep sigh of exasperation and decided to just ask about the main issue head on. 

“Why do you have to fight?” 

Yunho nearly choked on his food then, knowing exactly what Changmi meant beyond the literal meaning of her words. 

“You know why I have to fight, Changmi,” Yunho’s gaze tried to communicate with Changmi that this was not a topic he ever wished to discuss but his wife was too far gone to care about civil propriety. 

“For the clan? That is such horseshit and you know it, Yunho. You don’t care who you are fighting for just as long as you can ride away and kill people.” Yunho hit his wife then. Most men made a practice of using their wives as punching bags but Yunho usually reserved his beatings for special occasions when he lost his temper. Being slapped by her husband was not a nonexistent event but it was rather rare and Changmi stared at Yunho in surprise. 

“Remember who you are, wife. And do not pretend like you are flawless. Did you not think I would find out about the neighbor boy? He is, what, ten years younger than you? Frankly, I am surprised your aged beauty managed to ensnare him at all.” Yunho’s anger made him say things he never would otherwise. He did, truly, find his wife the most beautiful woman in all of the world, but that did nothing to dampen the jealousy and betrayal that ran deep. If anything, it just added salt to his already rotting wounds. 

Changmi’s gasp was enough to confirm to Yunho that she had never expected him to find out. “H-how? How do you know about that?” She stuttered out, more afraid of how she had hurt her husband than anything else, not that her anger would let her admit to such a thing. 

“Does it matter, Changmi? You have lain with him either way and deceived me.”

Oh, that did it. This conversation was supposed to be about him, not her. All of Changmi’s rage came back, twice as strong and three times as intense. 

“You are always gone, all the time, what do you expect me to do without you? Do you have any idea what it is like? You cannot because you are the one that decided to leave so don’t you dare judge me for trying to have a life when my own husband thinks I am not worth the time!” Yunho tried to intervene here, and tell her how incorrect her last statement was, but Changmi’s temper, when released, was like Pandora’s Box and could not be undone. “I need someone to love, Yunho! You cannot just leave me alone for months at a time and expect me to be just fine without you. I am human, and I need some sort of affection. Oh, and I supposed you do not find comfort in the arms of some local girl while you are away?”

“Never!” Yunho shouted back, “I have never slept with anyone but you, and trust me, wife, there were plenty of offers. But I thought of you and denied them all. Every single one of them.”

“Well then you are a saint!” Changmi cried. Tears clouded her vision but she refused to let them fall down her cheeks. She would not show weakness here! “Do you not need human contact?”

“Apparently not as much as you,” Yunho responded coldly. He stood up and left the room. Changmi sat for a second, shell-shocked, not even realizing that she had begun to cry. That was not how she had wanted that conversation to go. Yunho was going to tell her that he loved her and that if she wished it, he would gladly retire his katana. But he had known. He had known about the neighbor boy. Changmi had not expected that one bit. The boy, Yoochun, was just a distraction. She only needed Yoochun because Yunho was absent and she always felt guilty about it. Remembering that the root problem here was Yunho, Changmi felt her anger rising again and abandoned the room as well. 

As they stormed away to do separate chores in different areas of the house, both were too clouded by their anger to realize that the argument had caused more problems than it had solved. Neither said a word to each other when they saw one another until it was night time and Changmi said a terse “goodnight” while she closed the sliding door to their bedroom. 

Yunho slept in a different room that night. It was not uncommon for husbands and wives to sleep on separate mats but Yunho and Changmi had always lain together. Even when they fought, Yunho would apologize to Changmi and curl up behind her and they would wake up tangled in each other’s arms. Not that night, however; that night, Yunho retreated to their second bedroom and fell asleep with only his anger to keep him warm. 

His samurai instincts woke him instantly when a small body snuggled into his back a few hours after they had retired for the night. Yunho knew who it was though, from the way her body fit so exactly against his like they were made for each other, and he knew she was not a threat. Changmi might be irritated with him but Yunho knew her love for him was unconditional and she could never actually hurt him. The slight scent of jasmine floated from Changmi’s body to Yunho’s nose and he breathed in her scent deeply, hoping to embed it into his memory forever.

Yunho turned onto his back, wrapping an arm around Changmi’s shoulders in the process. She snuggled closed to his chest then and carefully draped an arm across his stomach. She was not sure how he would react and her cheek still burned from earlier. “I am sorry about earlier, Yunho. I just miss you so much while you are away and I want you safe at home with me. You cannot even imagine the soul-eating loneliness.” 

“I know, Changmi. I miss you dearly too, I hope you understand that. And I apologize for slapping you earlier,” Yunho often apologized after hitting Changmi. It meant a lot to Changmi because most men did not even feel guilty afterwards, at least according to her friends. Their husbands were scum compared to her Yunho. “But Yoochun, Changmi. Why Yoochun? Why anyone at all? I know that it gets lonely but I bear it for you. Why can you not do the same?” 

“Yoochun was… convenient,” Changmi admitted. “He is young and has no illusions of love for me. I know you can bear that burden but you are strong, Yunho. You are stronger than me. And you make the decision to leave. Everything is by your choice. But I do not have that luxury; I am left alone with no other option but to endure and deal with it.”

Yunho sighed, aware that there was truth to Changmi’s words. “You do not love him?”

“No, I harbor no affections for him beyond that of a neighbor,” Changmi said, meaning every word. Yoochun was really nothing to her other than a pale replacement for Yunho. The poor boy could not hold a flame to Yunho. “He is just a warm body.” 

Yunho hummed over that for a minute; he was relieved that Changmi did not love Yoochun but their affair still displeased him. It felt like he was losing his wife to the neighbor boy. “So my options here are my career or my wife?” Yunho asked. Honestly, he was not sure that he could decide between the two, given the ultimatum. 

“No!” Changmi cried, clutching Yunho even tighter. “You will always have me.” That truth would always remain. Changmi added in her mind that Yunho’s choice was how often he had her.   
Yunho sighed again; he seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. “Let us sleep for tonight, wife. We can think it over in the morning.” Changmi agreed and they fell asleep in the secondary bedroom, not quite happy but definitely less angry than they had been.

But when the next morning came and went, they did not discuss it. Yunho had already made his decision years ago and he was addicted to the katana now. He knew that in his heart but did not know how to tell his wife. On top of that, Yunho was content to pretend that he had never found out about Yoochun as long as they could be the same as always when they were together. Yunho decided that he still would not sleep with other girls but since he did leave Changmi alone, she was allowed to continue her affair with Yoochun. It was his fault that she had sought comfort in Yoochun’s arms after all. 

Although he did not say any of this out loud, Changmi understood from the way that Yunho pretended the fight that night had never happened. She went along with the façade because she did not have the courage to defy Yunho again. Basically, she still had Yoochun but not Yunho, not fully at least. But it had always been Yunho that she wanted. 

So they went through their days like nothing had transpired, and they were happy. Not a real kind of happy but the fake kind when you know something is terribly and utterly broken, but you do not have the fortitude to accept that fact. Changmi still made them delicious meals and Yunho told her tales of his travels but their actions were hollow and without sincerity. The couple tip-toed around each other, like they were made of porcelain and would creak at any sign of distress. Or maybe it was their relationship that they were worried about, and not each other. 

On the tenth night, Changmi risked their temporary peace during their evening meal again. She had to ask, just in case Yunho magically changed his mind and Changmi would be saved from all this useless waiting. 

“Please take me with you,” Changmi begged. It was an argument they had many times but Changmi was never less than serious about it.

“Changmi, must you always bring this up?” Yunho rubbed in between his eyes, mentally exhausted.

“Yes!” Changmi defended. “I am going to continue to beg you about it until you let me come with you. You know I can fight; why will you not let me fight alongside you?” Changmi wanted nothing more than to just watch over Yunho; he would not be in as much danger if she were there to guard his back. 

“Women are not allowed among that rank of samurai.” Yunho brought up the same old reason that was truly no reason at all. 

“That is not true and you know it. There are units composed entirely of women and those units are oftentimes the most effective.”

“How many of my meetings have you been eavesdropping on?” Yunho asked, alarmed at his wife’s abundance of knowledge.

“So you admit it?” Changmi seized on Yunho’s moment of weakness.

“That is not the point here, Changmi. How. Many. Of my meetings. Have you been eavesdropping on?” Yunho asked around clenched teeth.

“Just one or two,” Changmi said with bashful eyes. When Yunho just bestowed upon her a disbelieving look, she continued. “Or most of them. Or all of them.”

“Which one is it, wife?”

“Every meeting that you have hosted here, I have listened to,” Changmi admitted.

“You are never to do that again,” Yunho said. He shut down, a cold, business like demeanor covering his appearance. If his wife should threaten his position among the samurai, he would be forced to actually do something to punish her improper behavior. 

Changmi sighed, noticing the action for what it was. She would get nothing out of Yunho tonight. Accepting defeat, Changmi reached across the table to grab Yunho’s hand assuredly. Yunho smiled, and they finished eating peacefully. The couple continued their pretense until the day Yunho left again. 

“Return to me safely,” Changmi whispered into his chest as she clung to him desperately. Takeshi was the only one present to witness their embrace. 

“Always,” Yunho replied. He pulled away with a small kiss and mounted Takeshi. “I love you,” he called to Changmi, waving, before he spurred Takeshi into movement, trotting away. 

“I love you too,” Changmi said back, but her words were lost in the wind between them. 

When he had become just a small speck in Changmi’s sight, Yunho glanced back at Changmi with an ecstatic grin on his face, waved once more, and then galloped off to an unknown land, screaming a warrior cry just for fun as he went. 

That was when Changmi realized that she would always be waiting for Yunho. Forever waiting for the news of his death or for him to return to her, and the waiting drove her mad. An unconscious part of her knew that someday he would simply not return to her. Yunho would perish in battle, as would befit a samurai and she would only be left with his dead body, if his future killers decided to show that courtesy. How she wished she could show him how it felt to be left behind to wonder about Yunho’s safety and not know if he was celebrating a victory or bleeding out as a battle waged around him. Changmi wanted to put Yunho in her position so that he would realize the pain he put her through and maybe not desert her so often. But for now, all Changmi could do, was sit and wait. Always waiting….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For historical accuracy, Yunho's name would be Ryouhei, Changmi's Nanako, and Yoochun would be Kaname. 
> 
> So no one commented on the first chapter about the optional sex scenes. This one would either be when Yunho first came home or when Changmi went to apologize. Thoughts?
> 
> Comment with your thoughts and criticisms! I always love to see/read them :)


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Germany 1523

Yunseo woke that morning with a heavy heart; today she was going to have to disobey her husband, today, she would do something in secret. It didn’t sit right with her, going behind her husband’s back, but it was for his own good that he didn’t know. 

Despite her misgivings, Yunseo got out of bed and woke Changmin with a kiss, just like every other morning. Changmin stirred, creaking one eye open and peaking at Yunseo. She giggled and pressed another peck to his nose. 

“Time to wake up,” she said fondly. Changmin groaned and, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulled her back into bed with him.

“No. I think we should just stay here the whole day. Yes, that definitely sounds like a much better plan.” He nuzzled her neck as he spoke the words into her skin. 

Yunseo laughed, guilt once again gnawing at her heart. They could not stay in bed all day, not if her plan was to be executed. But after today, they could laze around in bed forever, as long as they wanted. “Come on, silly. You have to greet the day before it gets too angry with you.”

“I refuse,” Changmin said, kissing the light bruises Yunseo had on her throat in apology. 

Yunseo gathered up her mental strength and pushed him away. “You make a tempting offer but we have lives to attend to.”

“Fine, fine, I will be down in five minutes. Just give me five minutes.” Changmin reluctantly let her go and curled further into the bed, making himself a cocoon of warmth. 

“I think not,” Yunseo grabbed the blanket away from him. “Your five minutes have this funny tendency to turn into an hour.”

“Fine. I am getting up. See? I am awake now.” Changmin finally accepted defeat and wiggled his legs in a pathetic display of consciousness. 

“And stay awake,” Yunseo reminded as she walked downstairs to grab food for breakfast. Changmin liked to jump back in bed if she did not threaten him, with no real heat, of course. She would never threaten her husband. Yunseo grabbed a loaf of bread that Changmin had brought home yesterday from the pantry and sliced it up. A big piece for Changmin and a smaller piece for her, both lathered in margarine. Changmin came running down the stairs twenty minutes later. He grabbed the bread from her, eating it quickly as he gathered his things.

Changmin leaned in to kiss her on the cheek before heading for the door. “Goodbye, meine Frau, I will try to be back as soon as possible.” A stream of shame and pride coursed through Yunseo’s veins at the statement; shame because she didn’t really want Changmin to return as fast as possible, she needed extra time to complete her mission, and pride because she always felt that way when Changmin called her “meine Frau.” My wife. Out of all the women Changmin could have had, he chose her. My wife. Yunseo was happy as long as she was always his, she couldn’t even imagine who she would be without him. My wife. Without Changmin, Yunseo may as well not even exist. 

Sighing to herself, Yunseo prompted her body into motion, making for the kitchen. She had to start supper so if Changmin forgot anything and returned while she was gone, he would see her preparations and simply assume she had ventured into the forest to collect some herbs. “Oh, that plan sounds too devious,” Yunseo thought to herself, but there was no other way. Yunseo supposed she should be relieved Changmin excused all the servants so she actually had an excuse to be out on their property. For a few weeks after Changmin released them from their service, citing a lack of necessity now that he had the perfect wife, Yunseo had been frustrated with the sheer amount of house work she had to assume. Over time, however, she began to realize how they were better off without the servants. Changmin depended on her to clean and cook, which made Yunseo feel incredibly needed, and she also didn’t have to worry about some harlot chamber maid vying for Changmin’s attention while she was absent. Not that she was ever really absent these days but Yunseo’s jealousy was not a force to be reckoned with and she felt at ease with no other women in the house. 

While lost in her thoughts, Yunseo chopped onions, carrots, and potatoes for an evening stew. Changmin was actually better at cooking than her and, when he had time, he would spend hours making her extravagant meals. He was often busy, however, and so Yunseo did most of the day-to-day cooking. When she was finished with the vegetables, she left them all skewed out with a few herb bottles lying around, as if she had been looking for a particular one and had been unable to find it. With the positioning all taken care of, Yunseo grabbed her pouch, asked God and Changmin for forgiveness, and left the house behind. The forest path she traveled on was well-worn and familiar to her but only Changmin’s feet had trodden on it for months. The fresh air felt strange on her face, as did the grass beneath her shoes, after months of staying within their cottage. They felt quite nice but were tainted by the bitter sense of betrayal. Yunseo sped her steps; the faster she reached her destination, the faster she could return to Changmin. 

As Yunseo approached the village, a sense of slight excitement ran through her. This village used to be her home, after all, and even though her home was now in Changmin’s arms, the village would forever hold a special place in her heart. The thatch houses and dirt roads were so familiar to her; it was child’s play to pick her way through the busier streets and into slightly smaller paths. She did not want anyone to recognize her and report to her husband, if Changmin’s business should happen to take him into town today.

She spotted one home in particular and felt her hands begin to tremble as she neared her final destination. This was it; this was why she had disobeyed her husband and left the safety of their house. Yunseo walked up to the door and rapped her fist against it, hoping that the person she came to see was there. The door popped open as the woman behind it assumed all visitors to be friendly. The women stared at each other, one in shock and one resigned, for a moment before the younger spoke. 

“Mother, can we get out of the entryway? I would really like to be allowed in from the street please.” In response, Yunseo was surprised to find her mother’s arms around her as she was surrounded by a bear hug. Yunseo hadn’t been touched by anyone but Changmin since their last secret visit but her mother’s touch was always familiar to her. Yunseo sunk into the hug that only made what she was about to do even more difficult.

“You are always welcome here, my darling,” the older woman said. She finally pulled away from her daughter, petting her long hair. “It has been months since your last visit; your hair has grown so long.”

“Changmin likes my hair long,” Yunseo explained. “And I have been rather busy at home. I am sorry, mother.”

“It is quite alright, Yunseo. You are here now. Come, come, let us go inside.” Her mother ushered Yunseo in, looking around to make sure no one had witnessed her daughter’s arrival. “How have you been?” She asked when they had relocated to the safety of the living room.

“Keeping busy. I never realized there was so much to do around the house!” Yunseo exclaimed. Her mother did not like the implication that her daughter had been completely trapped in her house. 

“Well then you would not mind helping me with one more chore. Your father and little brother are absolutely hopeless. I have a huge pile of clothes that need mending. Would you mind?”

Yunseo shook her head and her mother left to grab the materials they needed. Her mother returned with the pile and they quickly set into their work. “Boa tells me you never go visit her anymore,” her mother commented. Yunseo’s best friend had been rather upset the last time she saw her. 

“Yes, well, you know how Changmin prefers me to stay in,” Yunseo replied. Her heart barely even twitched at the mention of her old friend. There were more important people in her life now.

“You should go see her sometime, darling. Boa misses you dearly,” her mother advised. She thought if she nudged her daughter enough in the right direction than Yunseo would finally see reason. 

“I will try,” Yunseo responded. She did not mean it at all but it appeased her mother. Seizing the moment, she began to say, “Mother, I came here to tell you -” But she was cut off.

“Oh, mein Leibling, did you hear what happened with the Gongchan boy? I could hardly believe it when I heard….” Yunseo’s mother began to rant about the village gossip, trying to fill Yunseo in, but her words faded into white noise as Yunseo retreated into her thoughts. Her mother went on and on until more than half the pile was gone before Yunseo felt ready for another attempt.

Yunseo stayed her hands, abandoning the mending for a moment, as she steeled up the courage to tell her mother what she had come here to say. She took a deep breath and thought of her beloved Changmin, releasing the words to the universe once and for all before she could lose her nerve or be interrupted again. 

“Mutti, I can’t come see you anymore,” Yunseo whispered quietly, equal parts hoping her mother would and would not hear her. Her mother froze in her task, hoping against hope that she heard her daughter incorrectly.

“What did you say, dear?” she replied, just as quietly, not wanted to betray the tempest coiling through her belly. 

Yunseo cleared her throat and strengthened her resolve before she answered. “I said I cannot come visit you anymore. This has to be the last time.”

“Why?” she replied, although she full-well knew the reason. Yunseo didn’t reply, preferring not to say the words out-loud. “Is it because of Changmin? What has that man done to your head, Tochter? Are you so afraid of him that you will not leave the house?”

“Afraid of him, Mutter? Changmin is my husband, my life, and I will do what makes him happy, even if it does not please you.”

The words she knew were futile couldn’t seem to be held back and her mother grabbed at Yunseo’s scarf, pulling it back to reveal the bruises she had tried so hard to cover. “You will do what makes him happy? What about your happiness, Yunseo? Does this make you happy?” Her anger at the loss of her daughter quickly turned into anger at Yunseo for allowing it to happen. “Don’t think I did not notice! That dog, that filthy, possessive piece of shit, has always been brutal to you. Changmin is nothing but trash and you would do well to remember that before you abandon your entire family for a good-for-nothing bastard!” Before the older woman knew what was happening, she found herself thrown against the wall, with her daughter’s arm pinned to her throat. 

“Don’t you dare say such things about Changmin! You may not like him, Mutter, but he is my husband and you will show him some goddamn respect!” Each word was punctuated with a pulse further into her mother’s throat but Yunseo was so blind by rage that she barely noticed how she was hurting her mother. “Changmin is the love of my life and my reason for living, why can you not see that? You and father have always been against him, always hating someone so important to me: if I did not know better, I would say you are the possessive one. If you did not guilt me into visiting you, I would always be there when Changmin comes home and he would not have to discipline me. I am the troubled one, mother, I am the one who cannot just follow orders. I deserve everything he gives me until I learn to be perfect for him.” Yunseo could see her mother slowly turning a blotched purple and losing consciousness but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. This woman was no longer her mother; it was a monstrosity that tried to separate her from Changmin. 

“He is perfect for me, and I will learn to be the perfect wife for him. God, you are so pretentious. Changmin tried to play nice with you and father but he could see you for what you really are, selfish beasts that care nothing for their daughter’s happiness. He could see, but I did not believe him. How could I be so stupid? Changmin was right, he is always right. There is no place for you in my life anymore, mother, because Changmin is my life and if you cannot accept that, then I do not need you. I only need Changmin.” 

Yunseo’s mother watched as the edges of her vision grew blurry and her daughter let loose the demon inside her that had been sculpted and molded by Changmin. She watched and wished she could do something to save Yunseo from her fate but knew her body was too weak to fight against this madness. Her final hope before she permanently blacked out was that maybe her death would be enough to shake the cloak of darkness that held Yunseo hostage. 

When Yunseo’s haze finally began to clear and her sane mind was returned to her, she retracted her arm as quickly as she could but a part of her knew it was too late. Her mother’s body crumpled to the ground in the absence of support and Yunseo knew she would never stand again. A strange numbness descended upon Yunseo as she stared down at the still body. She was at peace with the fact that she had murdered her own mother. At least she wouldn’t be tempted to betray Changmin again. There was a momentary wave of panic before Yunseo told herself that this was a good thing. She took a deep cleansing breath then launched into action, leaving her mother dead on the floor for some servant to stumble upon. She had to get home again before Changmin returned to find the house empty. 

Yunseo literally ran through the dirty streets, not knowing how long she had been gone as she couldn’t remember how long she had stood there with her mother dangling from her arm. She told herself that she just wanted to be re-connected with her husband but she was also apprehensive about what Changmin would do if he found a vacant house. Changmin’s love for her was so strong that sometimes it clouded his reasoning and he did things that he would never do if she hadn’t provoked him. Former friends and acquaintances called out to her as she dashed by but Yunseo’s mind was only focused on getting home as soon as possible. If Changmin had chosen a house closer to town, her journey would be easier, but unfortunately, their home lay as far from town as possible without being completely isolated. When her feet finally led her out of the village, Yunseo took a short cut through the woods, feeling dull stings as twigs cut into her cheeks. She wondered fleetingly if Changmin would be mad that she had injured herself but quickly decided that it would be better if she was there and injured than not there at all. 

Seeing their little cottage enter her sight, Yunseo let loose a cry of triumph before her glee died a swift and excruciating death on her lips as she noticed Birgit, Changmin’s horse, out in the pasture. He was back. Yunseo’s feet slowed before halting on the border of their property. Now she looked like she was trying to hide her visit from him as well. Yunseo’s fear coursed through her like ice trails down a parched throat but she steeled herself against it and forced herself to proceed toward the house, patting her hair and dress as she went, trying to look presentable. Changmin was the only one left to her now and if he didn’t want her, there would be no one left to love Yunseo. 

As quietly as possible, Yunseo nudged open the back door, sticking her head in first. Maybe Changmin had a difficult day with the traders and hadn’t even noticed she was gone. Sensing no movement in the house, Yunseo slipped through the entrance and made for the kitchen on muted feet, glad that she had started making their supper earlier. As she was passing from the entryway to the open room before the kitchen, Yunseo was suddenly pressed with the feeling of being watched. She froze in her position, knowing only one man whose gaze had such presence. 

“Yunseo, meine Frau, where have you been?” She turned to find Changmin sitting in his favorite chair. It was rather large with strange etchings that the merchant had sworn was a language – Yunseo didn’t believe him, no one wrote vertically – but Changmin had instantly fallen in love with it so she didn’t mind the crazy scribbles. What Changmin loved, she loved. And the time they spent christening it later was definitely something she loved. However, the man currently poised in the chair was not very pleased at all despite the calm façade and Yunseo knew she was completely at fault. 

“I went to visit my mother,” she replied with a breathy voice, knowing Changmin would not appreciate being lied to. And somehow he always seemed to know when she was lying. Her husband sucked in a deep breath at her words, seeming to prepare himself for something, and when he stood, Yunseo couldn’t help the miniscule step she took away from him. 

“Why would you do that, mein Schatz?” He asked quietly, stopping within an inch of her and gently, in a strange show of the calm before the storm, cupping her cheek. 

“I, uh, I wanted to go see her. I get so lonely without you and I wanted someone to talk to,” she tried to explain, feeling her fragile face caged in by his strong calloused hands that both hurt her and loved her.

“You wanted someone to talk to?” Changmin paused here before an angry tension ran through his body and his tone changed entirely. “Am I not enough for you, Yunseo? Why am I never enough for you?” He threw her against the wall, next to the mirror, hand wrapping around Yunseo’s windpipe in a cruel parody of the same move Yunseo performed on her mother.

“No, no, no, Changmin, I just felt so alone and I went to see her but she made me so mad and I just attacked her so I took care of her and now she’s gone and I’ll never leave you again,” Yunseo’s words ran together as she tried to spit them out as fast as possible before she could no longer breathe.

“You what?” Instead of being placated like Yunseo thought he would be, Changmin was further infuriated.

“My mother will not disturb us ever again, I left her there on the floor and she will not be getting up again,” Yunseo explained, thinking that perhaps Changmin had misunderstood her. 

“You did what? You dumb fucking bitch!” Changmin slapped her hard across the cheek before slamming her head against the wall. Yunseo felt her head start to get fuzzy when he repeated the action, finding the sick crack of her head against the wood rather satisfying. “Don’t you think the servants are going to know it was you that did it? They will come for us and we will be executed and then we will not be together. How are you this stupid? You fucking whore, you have ruined everything!” Blood began to trickle down the back of Yunseo’s head and Changmin stopped the shaking when he saw it; he didn’t want to kill his wife, after all. She was his world, his everything. 

“I did it for us, mein Liebling, I did not want her to come between us anymore.” But the second she said it, Yunseo knew she made a mistake by saying “come between” instead of “try to come between.” The light in Changmin’s eyes changed once again and he hurled her against the mirror, feeling it break under the force of her impact. He pressed her tightly against the shattered pieces, knowing the glass was cutting her back and his hands were creating bruises. 

“I didn’t know she had come between us, Yunseo. But then I guess I don’t know very much about my own wife, do I? Because she left me today.”

“No, sweetheart, no, I just had to be away for an hour or two. I had to do it. I did it for us,” Yunseo repeated, hoping Changmin would see her reasoning but her efforts only afforded her a fist into her stomach, stealing her oxygen. A knee swiftly followed the fist and Yunseo knew she would feel it in every breathe she took for weeks.

“Did I say you could talk back? You will speak when spoken to, you worthless piece of shit.” As Yunseo heaved over, clutching her midsection, Changmin grabbed a fistful of her hair and flung her to the ground, never releasing her hair so she was kneeling in front of him on her knees. “Look at me. Look at me! Next time, I’ll expect my wife to listen when I give her orders.” He punched her once more across the face, splitting her lip, just for good measure. With the same hand, he grabbed her jaw roughly, turning it back towards him. The dazed look on her face both worried and riled him. “And no more leaving the house without me!”

With that, he stomped out of the house, slammed the wooden door behind him, and mounted Birgit, apparently needing a good hard ride to let off some more steam. Yunseo waited until she could no longer hear Birgit’s galloping to break down. All the tension left her muscles as she collapsed completely on the ground. 

As Yunseo cried softly to herself, broken on the floor, she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was her fault. If she hadn’t been so selfish and abandoned their home, Changmin wouldn’t have returned to find her gone and gotten angry. She deserved this; she deserved to be beaten if she was going to hurt her husband so. She experienced a slight flash of guilt over her mother, now that she had a moment alone, but that was quickly squished.

Maybe it was truly better this way; she didn’t really need anyone else anyway and now she had officially taken care of anyone that would stand in their way. Changmin was her everything so why she felt the need to visit her mother at all, Yunseo didn’t know. She didn’t even know why she was crying. Her body was her husband’s to use, after all, and Changmin was only proving how much he loved her and cared for her to feel so strongly.

With that thought in mind, Yunseo dragged her destroyed body off the ground and started to treat her multiple injuries. She knew if she left them dirty and bleeding, Changmin would only feel worse than he most definitely already did and she didn’t want him to feel guilty; she knew it was her own fault. Yunseo flinched as she pressed herbs into the exposed tissue but took a sick pleasure in punishing herself more. Changmin’s marks reminded her how much he loved her. 

After she had wrapped as many of the wounds as she had cloth for, Yunseo began making supper. Changmin would come home to a warm meal and a loving wife that would never leave the house again unless he desired it. They would have to flee town so they were not captured by the authorities but they could make any house a home together. She smiled to herself at the thought of the two of them together forever, shut in their house. If only Changmin didn’t have to work for money and food, then they could live entirely on and in each other, consuming one another…. As Yunseo warmed to the thought, she discovered that was what she wanted most in her life. 

When Changmin returned hours later, he wrapped his arms around her, careful not to press against her wounds and kissed her ear before whispering into it. 

“I am so sorry, sweetheart. I should not have done that, I should not have said those things. You know I was lying right? I was just so worried about you. You did good, you did so good baby, because now it is just you and me, together. Just you and me forever. We do not need anyone else as long as we are together, never apart.”

“You and me, together.” Yunseo replied, smiling, and leaned back into him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for historical accuracy, Changmin's name would be Oskar, Yunseo's Isolde, BoA's Katja, and Gongchan would be refereed to as the Leibnitz boy. 
> 
> If this chapter surprised you, well I'm glad I haven't become predictable. If it confused, perhaps going back and reading the chapters with this in mind would help.
> 
> Oh yes, I almost made the abuse scene into sexual abuse as well as physical but then I was like, nah, better not.
> 
> Please comment with thoughts and criticisms :) They make me happy and feed my HoMin feels.


	6. Chapter 6

Changmi rushed her two children, little Sulli and Kris, through the city, flitting from building to building, trying desperately not to stay out in the open too long. Her husband, Julien, had left their little home early in the morning, claiming that an uprising was causing some trouble near the Bastille but not to worry, it would all be fine. Changmi was notified three hours after he left that she had just become a widower. Changmi was fine with that - she married her husband out of necessity, not for love – but was then informed by their breathless stable boy that the crowd was coming for her and her two children. The stable boy, Junsu, had told Changmi to run, then.

“Run, Madame Changmi, please run while you have some time. I’ll try to hold them off but you have to live to see Sulli and Kris grow old.” Changmi had stared in disbelief at Junsu, a boy so willing to risk his life to save her own when he could so easily join the mob, and could do nothing but pull him in for a desperate hug. She did not trust her voice to convey her feelings without breaking down. Junsu had been with their family since he was a small child but Changmi could not think of anything she or her husband had done to warrant such sacrifice. Unfortunately, she had not had the time to figure out how to thank Junsu. She did not even discover the motives behind his actions. She just had to move because her babies’ lives were at risk. 

And so here they were, ducking into dark alleys and attempting to blend into the dirty crowd of commoners to get themselves out of the city and into the countryside. Perhaps they would flee the country entirely and head for England. Changmi clung to Sulli and Kris’s hands, determined not to lose them in the insane horde. With the way these crazed beings were acting, they might kill a child just for getting in their way. 

With most of the crowd heading to the Bastille or to noble’s homes, they were one of the very few heading in the opposite direction which made progress very slow but Changmi knew she had to be patient. After what seemed like hours upon hours of walking, the trio was almost in the outskirts of town when Changmi heard a shout that stopped her heart and drenched her hopes.

“There she is!” one thin voice called out.

“Get her!” A deeper, thicker, voice cried, followed by a series of cheers from the mob and just as Changmi got prepared to protect her children she heard yet another scream, belonging to a victim. The cry definitely was not from her or her children and Changmi turned to see the crowd seizing a beautiful young girl with fiery red hair. She breathed a sigh of relief; her family was still undetected. 

Changmi began to leave – the girl provided the perfect distraction for them to make a break for it – but her eyes met those of the red-head and Changmi found herself caught in the gaze. Those eyes were so very furious, filled with such hate but no fear, no fear for her life that was so clearly about to end. Changmi couldn’t look away, even when she knew she should. This girl was something special. As the two women stared at each other, a thin man with fluffy hair and a beautiful face marred by his angry features stepped to the front of the group to speak.

“Yunseo, ma chère, this is your trial and these lovely people are your jury,” the man said with mocking formality while gesturing at the bloodthirsty crowd. “Now, do you admit to your charges of conspiring against the revolutionaries?”

Changmi flinched as the man spoke - anyone could be charged with being anti-revolutionary without any proof and they would still be “sentenced.” Yunseo, as Changmi now knew was called, held Changmi’s gaze as she answered, defiance clear in her tone.

“The only thing I’m guilty of, mon amour, is marrying a man so disgusting it’s difficult to be in the same room as him. I have had enough of men like you. I care not for the revolutionaries or King Louis, Jaejoong darling, politics have never concerned me.” Changmi’s lips twitched in amusement at the mocking way she said mon amour; the mother had never dared to talk to her husband in that manner. But still, she was worried for this girl, shouldn’t she be begging for mercy, not antagonizing the crowd? Or perhaps the girl was too prideful for that. Changmi found herself admiring Yunseo slightly; she knew for certain that she would collapse in the face of such a situation and plead on her hands and knees for the lives of her children. 

“So you admit that you do not care for the revolutionaries?” The chilling man, Jaejoong, grinned as he twisted his wife’s words. When Yunseo would not reply, he turned to the mob with a sickly smirk on his face. “Well, what say you, fair council? Is she innocent or shall we watch her pretty head roll off her pretty shoulders?” The crowd roared with the ferocity of an injured lion, screaming for blood. Jaejoong turned back to Yunseo with a contemptuous shrug of his shoulders and motioned to the crowd. “It appears we have a verdict.”

Changmi stared in horror at the crowd as her children tugged on her hands, begging their mother to leave the area, but she couldn’t look away from the horrific scene in front of her. Yunseo caught her eye once again as the vultures descended upon her with knives and broken bottles and anything they could get their hands on. As Death’s cold embrace wrapped around Yunseo, she did something that Changmi hadn’t expected. She winked. She winked at Changmi before her head was bashed in and her blood flew from her body, trying to free itself from the violence. Changmi watched with an open jaw as the stranger, who shouldn’t mean anything, was torn limb from limb. 

Another weak pull at her hand reminded Changmi that her children were also witnessing this brutality and that was enough to spurn the mother into movement. Changmi shook herself out of her stupor, reminded herself that this courageous girl was nothing but another face, another victim of the “revolution”, and hurried her children away from the scene as the crowd practically rolled in Yunseo’s blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Yunho can be sassy as hell and we all know he wouldn't take everything lying down.
> 
> For historical accuracy, Yunho's name would be Elissa, Changmin's Renee, Julien's Julien, Sulli's Josephine, Kris's Sebastian, and Junsu's Dominique. 
> 
> I know this seems a bit late but I actually posted a little HoMin drabble last week so check it out if you feel so inclined. It's not related to this story at all but I'm quite fond of it :)
> 
> So I really don't like Julien at all and I most certainly don't think he's worthy of Changmin so I had to make their marriage loveless, I'm sorry. But it wasn't unpleasant either so I should get some credit ;P And I actually totally ship Yunjae too but I don't think Jaejoong would take too well to Yunho being destined for someone else so he's a bad guy in this story. 
> 
> So comment with your thoughts and criticisms if you have anything you'd like to say. I'd absolutely love to hear it all! :D Comments are like food. Or power naps. They're great.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

London 1888

Yunho sat in the corner of a local tavern, observing their mark and everyone he interacted with. Their target tonight was named Nichkhun and, since he “hadn’t met the right woman yet,” he was single. He was also from the countryside so his family didn’t expect correspondence from him for months at a time, which was perfect for what they had planned for him. Yunho had been camped out in the corner for hours, watching Nichkhun down drink after drink until he was completely hammered. He himself had been nursing one tall glass of ale the entire time. Killing gave him a more exhilarating high than alcohol ever could. 

After one of the longest stakeouts Yunho had ever run, Nichkhun finally stood up and staggered towards the door, stupidly attempting to make it home in his inebriated state. Yunho waited until the door had closed behind the man to stand up and down his drink. He then nodded at his older brother Changmin from across the bar and they both turned simultaneously to head out the front and back doors after the young man who had just left. 

They met up a block away from the tavern, no words needed to communicate between the two of them. They simply exchanged one look and began trailing Nichkhun like two Siamese cats after one ignorant mouse. For Nichkhun’s part, he was completely oblivious to everything except the need to get home and piss before he blacked out. So when he was hit over the head by a Winchester pistol from the New World, he simply thought that he didn’t quite make it home and idly worried about being robbed while he slept. 

“At this rate, he’ll die from alcohol poisoning before we can even use him,” Yunho said, looking down at the disgraced man, no small amount of disgust in his voice. 

“If he does die, we’ll just drop him back off here,” Changmin replied, snorting as he kicked their target. “He’s kind of pathetic, isn’t he?”

“Kind of? Maybe we should just leave him here to be mugged and go find a more suitable person,” Yunho suggested, knowing how his brother enjoyed the fight and it didn’t appear that this specimen would pose much of a threat. 

“Nah, that would be such a waste of our time. We’ve spent weeks determining if anyone would miss him immediately after he disappeared. I’d hate to put all that hard word to waste.” And Changmin didn’t think he could endure the weeks involved in stalking another victim without killing someone, but that was another matter that Yunho didn’t really need to know. 

Yunho was a good kid. He looked up to Changmin like a young brother should but he was really the power behind the throne, the pillar of strength that fuelled Changmin to continue on. He kept Changmin sane most of the time, despite Yunho’s claims that Changmin had the same effect on him. Changmin knew that without Yunho, he would dissipate into a raging mass of murder that would destroy everything in its path until he was captured and put down. Yunho, on the other hand, could live just fine without Changmin. It would hurt, of course, but he would go back to law school and put to rest the darkness inside him. Yunho refused to see it, but Changmin was the less mentally stable of the two and Changmin knew it. 

“You sure?” Yunho asked. He was always eager to kill with his brother but if Changmin wouldn’t enjoy it as much as usual, then neither would Yunho. 

“Yeah,” Changmin responded, a shit-eating grin crossing his face. While he may prefer more feisty victims, Nichkhun would do. It was a special occasion since it was his and Yunho’s turn to kill together. 

Yunho and Changmin had very different killing styles so they switched whose turn it was on a schedule. Changmin preferred to beat his victims - who he wanted to be strong men for the challenge - to death, feeling their skin break under his knuckles until the life was finally drained from them like the red liquid that streamed from their body. Yunho liked to rip his victims, who were generally scummy men that beat their wives, limb from limb and watch their blood flow. Sometimes, he would dance in the vast amounts of blood that gathered around the dead corpse like they had personally offended him. 

Their styles were different but they were both consumed by an anger, a hatred towards humanity, a fiery animosity towards unknown faces, that drove them to kill. Both were always present for the kill but didn’t always participate. Yunho liked to watch his brother’s ferocity and Changmin enjoyed seeing the childish glee on Yunho’s face as he bathed in blood.

So when they killed together, it was a beautifully terrible combination of two techniques so separate it shouldn’t meld but somehow did. Their victims always died a more merciful death when the brothers acted together; it was as if the brothers brought each other peace, even in an act as brutal as killing. 

“You want to get the buggy or shall I?” Changmin questioned.

“I don’t think I have the key to open the barn,” Yunho answered, a confused frown squishing his eyebrows together in what would normally be a cute expression, as he felt through his pockets for the key ring. This particular bar was barely a five minute walk from their apartment so the brothers had walked over. 

Changmin held up the key ring that had been in his pocket. “If I trusted you with the keys, we’d never get anywhere,” he said, shaking his head with fondness for his brother. 

“If you trusted me with the keys, the buggy would be at the bottom of the Thames,” Yunho responded, referring to his tendency to push the horses to gallop too fast, as if he were chasing someone that owed him money. Changmin chuckled and tossed the keys to Yunho, who giggled and headed for the barn that held all the apartment’s tenant’s buggies, leaving Changmin alone with the drunk man and his thoughts. 

Changmin knew Yunho would have never killed his first man if it hadn’t been for Changmin. He would have never let that blood-stained, beautiful part of himself out to play if he hadn’t discovered that Changmin was the same way one fateful night many years ago. 

~

Changmin had been killing for years, since that time when he was thirteen years old and had accidently beat their neighbor, Heechul, to death. The punk had been bullying Yunho in school and was asking for it. Changmin had only meant to scare him a little, rough him up a bit, but Changmin grew a taste for it. He liked everything about that night; the death had excited him far more than it had horrified him. 

As the years went by, Changmin sharpened his talent, learning more about how to stay hidden in plain sight and what made his heart race the fastest during the kill. He was twenty-two when Yunho finally caught him in the act. Changmin should have known that Yunho would find out eventually but he had been terrified that Yunho would be disgusted and leave him. Changmin wouldn’t be able to handle that. 

The older brother had cornered a middle aged retired boxer in an empty fishing lodge. The boxer, Gary Kang, had realized Changmin’s intentions almost instantly for he had seen the same look in some of his past opponents. Apparently, some people had found a socially acceptable way to vent their blood lust. Gary tried to tell Changmin this - that he didn’t have to kill. Gary was sure that if it came down to it, he could defeat Changmin but he didn’t want to have to take someone’s life, unless there was no other way out. He had a wife, Jihyo, and five beautiful children he would have to be able to look in the eye afterward. Changmin didn’t listen though; he was too far gone down his path. Besides, Changmin was also confident that he could out-fight Gary, with his natural skill. He had never lost to an opponent before; otherwise he probably still wouldn’t be alive today. 

Unfortunately for Changmin, he had under-estimated Gary and soon the man had him bleeding incessantly with blurry vision. He had managed to land a few hits of his own, enough to ensure that Gary felt him a constant threat, but not nearly enough to rival the damage he took. Changmin hit the floor hard after Gary kicked his knee caps out and, never one to back down from a fight, he clawed out at Gary’s legs. The older man back stepped and avoided the blow but the attack only proved to Gary that this man had to be stopped forever. Just as Gary drew back for his final, fatal blow and Changmin was sure it was all over, the boxer was hit over the head with a broken bottle. Gary’s eyes rolled back into his head and his body crumpled down to the dirty floor. Changmin gasped when his guardian angel was revealed, panting and clutching the remaining shards of the bottle like a life raft.

“Yunho! What are you doing here?” Changmin managed to say around the blood flooding his mouth and in-between his harsh panting. It came out more accusatory than Changmin had desired but he had never intended for Yunho to see him this way.

“I, I followed you,” Yunho stuttered out. He couldn’t take his eyes off of the bleeding body beneath him. “You disappear sometimes at night and I wanted to see what you were doing….” Changmin’s heart sank as he realized that Yunho had seen everything, from the way he had lured Gary here to the way he had attacked the boxer first. “Is he?” Yunho gestured at Gary. 

Changmin moved to crouch over Gary’s motionless body and felt for a pulse. “Yes,” he replied, upon finding none. He wasn’t sure yet how Yunho would respond. His younger brother just nodded, starting to look less shell-shocked. 

“Well what do we do with his body?” Yunho asked. It was one sentence Changmin had never thought he would ever hear, especially from Yunho.

“Throw him in the river, I guess.” Changmin’s method of disposal changed with each victim to avoid the London police making any connection between his victims.

“Won’t he float though? Then he’ll be discovered right away.”

Changmin looked around them and, upon spotting some heavy looking stones, he got an idea. “Not if we make sure he sinks,” he replied, pointing to his find. 

Yunho nodded and the brothers set to work stuffing rocks in Gary’s clothes where they could and tying them to his body with rope when they had to. They acted in silence until they had pushed Gary’s corpse into the water and watched it sink beneath the unforgiving surface. Then Changmin turned to Yunho and searched his face for signs of guilt or panic or just something.

“Are you okay?” Changmin asked. His brother was oddly calm for just having killed a man; his first, from Changmin’s knowledge.

“Yeah,” Yunho replied. A few moments passed by before he admitted, “I think I liked it.”

Changmin drew in a shaky breath. He wasn’t sure where to go from here. A silly thought entered his mind but he couldn’t ask that of his brother. 

“How long, Changmin?” Yunho asked, staring into the Thames.

“Nine years,” Changmin responded, no doubt in his mind as to what Yunho meant.

“And you never once thought to include me in that?” Yunho inquired, anger sparking in his voice.

“I didn’t want to put you in danger,” Changmin replied.

“Bullshit.”

“Okay, but I didn’t realize you were the same, Yunho.” Again, this was a conversation Changmin never pictured himself having.

“Whatever. From now on, I’m in,” Yunho said, crossing his arms. 

“In?” Changmin asked.

“In. As in, I go with you. Kill with you. Understood?” Yunho appeared rather determined in this matter, not that Changmin was going to argue with him. 

“Okay,” Changmin replied dumbly. His mind was still trying to wrap itself around the concept while also thanking the fates for bringing him his brother. 

“Except next time we should be more prepared,” Yunho said, adding oxygen to the spark of hope in Changmin’s soul. Yunho finally turned away from the Thames and Changmin followed him back up toward civilization. 

“With something better than rope, like chains, and we should pick a killing place too,” Changmin replied. Ever the planner, he was already thinking of the necessities for their operation to be successful.

“Let’s get you back home and bandage you up first,” Yunho said, chuckling at his brother’s concentrated expression. Changmin scowled but the effect was ruined by the fact that his vision was being invaded by fluffy bunnies and he could barely feel his hands anymore. Yunho just raised his eyebrows at Changmin and the older brother was forced to let Yunho help him home before he collapsed. They slowly retreated to their apartment, with Changmin limping and putting most of his weight on Yunho’s shoulders, the promise of “next time” lightening their steps. 

And so their legacy was born and they had been killing flawlessly together ever since. 

~

Changmin was now thirty four years old and every once in a while, Changmin wondered what would have happened if he had continued to live his life as he had. He had no one that truly understood him. Those times reminded Changmin how lucky he was to have Yunho.

As Changmin was reminiscing, a young couple wandered past the pair and the woman immediately expressed concern for Nichkhun. “Oh my, is he okay?” She peeked closer to the unconscious man, never releasing her husband’s arm. 

“Oh, he simply had too much to drink tonight. My companion is just grabbing the buggy so we can haul him home,” Changmin replied, letting his natural charm flood his smile and his tone. A falsely friendly smile slipped unto his face and the woman was helpless to resist his charisma. 

“Oh, well, do you need any help?” She offered, as her husband looked at her like she had lost her mind. “He looks rather heavy.”

“No, no, that will not be necessary. He has a history of this sort of thing, so my companion and I are used to it,” Changmin assured, hoping the couple would get the hint and leave. Yunho and he couldn’t really afford much trouble and that was all the couple promised if they pressed the matter. If left with no other choice, Changmin knew they could handle them but with a spontaneous killing, there was no way to tell how soon they would be missed, and that could be problem. 

Fortunately, for both the couple and the brothers, the woman backed away from Nichkhun, trusting Changmin’s outward appearance over her instinct telling her that the man was in danger. “Are you sure?” She asked again, just to hear more of Changmin’s deep bass. 

“I’m certain. You lovebirds have a nice night, now,” he replied, waving them off. When they were out of his sight, Changmin breathed a deep sigh of relief. He didn’t really like talking to anyone without Yunho by his side because, even though it was fake, he had to pretend to be nice and Changmin didn’t like being nice to anyone but Yunho. 

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. “I’m back,” Yunho said a little too cheerfully for someone about to commit murder, hopping down from the buggy. 

“I see that,” Changmin replied, raising his eyebrows at his brother, who was appraising Nichkhun’s position on the ground. 

“Well, are you going to grab his feet or shall I lift him all by myself?” Yunho asked, ever the sassy one. 

“That would be a sight to see with your scrawny arms,” Changmin retorted, walking over to Nichkhun’s legs as he spoke. 

“Lithe!” Yunho replied, with the ring of a familiar conversation. “And just because they aren’t bulky, doesn’t mean they aren’t defined,” Yunho defended, rather protective of his thinner, leaner physique compared to Changmin’s bulkier, more muscular build. 

“Sure they’re defined. Defined as scrawny,” Changmin countered, heaving Nichkhun’s body over to the buggy with Yunho supporting his shoulders. 

“You need to know how to read in order to read a dictionary, brother.” Nichkhun’s limp body made a dull, flat sound as it landed on the floor of the buggy. 

“I can read better than you at the very least,” Changmin protested. 

“Well I can only be as good as my teacher. Now who was that again?” Not many people can bicker over ordinary things with an unconscious man in the back about to be killed, but then Yunho and Changmin never were normal. They climbed into the buggy and made for their usual warehouse on the shore of the Thames that witnessed most of their extracurricular activities. Their warehouse wasn’t far from their first shared killing. 

“A teacher can only do so much; it’s the student that decides whether or not to pay attention,” Changmin taunted, well aware that his brother did indeed read quite often. He liked to keep an eye on the politics of London and the daily events – it was a habit Yunho had picked up in law school. Changmin, on the other hand, wanted to make sure no one had found any trace of their actions plus a little part of him just enjoyed being informed. Changmin simply enjoyed getting a rise out of his younger brother, though, as most siblings do. 

“I was six! Do you really think I wanted to be getting lessons from you instead of playing marbles with the neighborhood boys?” Yunho countered.

“Maybe I’ll have to teach you another lesson,” Changmin threatened, growling lowly at Yunho, but with no real heat behind it. 

“With your fists?” Yunho laughed, even though the innuendo made his stomach churn for some unknown reason. His brother had never hit him, taking out all of his anger on their victims. “Cliché, Changmin. I would have hoped that you could have been more original than that.”

“Violence is an art in and of itself,” Changmin replied. “My fists speak eloquently enough for themselves.” He winked at Yunho. 

“Oh dear, now your fists are talking to you? We might have to take you to the mental asylum sooner than I thought.” A falsely worried expression took over Yunho’s face. 

“Well, if I’m going to an asylum then you are most definitely coming with me.”

“True. You’d probably accidently burn the place down, too, if I wasn’t there to tell you not to leave your cigars smoking.” 

“With everything else I have to worry about, my cigars are the last damn thing on my list, Yunho.”

Yunho laughed then. “That’s true, you do worry too much, Changmin.”

“No, I worry just the right amount,” Changmin countered and Yunho had no witty retort for that because it was Changmin’s carefulness that kept them out of trouble sometimes. And by trouble, Yunho meant prison and possible execution.

Their buggy fell into a comfortable silence and then the brothers were there. At their warehouse. Changmin carried Nichkhun inside piggy-back style as Yunho tied the horses up, treating them with carrots for their hard work. Once the horses were un-hooked from the buggy and thoroughly stuffed with carrots, Yunho returned to his brother. They had a long time to wait for Nichkhun to wake up anyway. 

“You spoil those horses, Yunho,” Changmin said as his brother entered their killing space. It was on the second floor so if some poor soul happened to enter their warehouse, they would have some semblance of warning. No one was around to hear the body splash into the Thames anyway, and even if they did, they would pay it no mind. 

“They deserve to be spoiled,” Yunho replied. Changmin just grunted and retrieved their chess board from their cubby. Although they went to great lengths to leave no trace elsewhere, here, their warehouse was almost like a second home. It was stuffed to the brim with hidden treasures that weren’t visible to the un-trained eye but could be found if you just knew where to look.

“Another game?” Yunho asked, not particularly fond of chess. He went through his phases; poker, dice, darts, and then chess to pass the time. Changmin, however, had quickly discovered an affinity for the game. The older brother was much better at planning strategy and such whereas Yunho just followed his gut feelings. Yunho always lost to Changmin in the first few days after they discovered chess, so when he suddenly started winning, Yunho knew it was only because Changmin let him. 

They only ever played a certain game until they could figure out which one of them was better so Yunho didn’t understand why they didn’t move on. Yunho was dying to try out a Chinese game that was being called “Go.” He heard it was called “wéiqí” but whenever he said it with a completely native pronunciation, people gave him funny looks, so Yunho referred to it as “Go” out loud. As soon as Changmin got over this silly obsession with chess, Yunho planned to sweep the floor with him in wéiqí. 

“Why, afraid to lose?” Changmin asked, pulling Yunho out of his plans to secure a wéiqí set.

“More like afraid to win,” Yunho muttered as he sat down across Changmin. 

“What was that?” Changmin asked. 

“Nothing,” Yunho grumbled and resigned himself to just one more game.

As Yunho predicted, he “won,” and not long afterwards, Nichkhun finally regained consciousness. The man jerked awake and looked around himself in rising panic when he realized that he was definitely not home, or even in an alley somewhere.

“Took you long enough,” Yunho said impatiently as he walked over. The younger brother had been hoping Nichkhun would wake up and save him from the chess game but he had let Yunho down. 

“Well he drank enough to kill a lesser man,” Changmin replied, chuckling. 

Nichkhun looked frantically from one strange man to the other, wondering if he should know these people. But from the way they were standing over him in this dank building, Nichkhun figured he probably shouldn’t. “Who are you?” he demanded. 

The two brothers glanced at each other before Yunho crouched down to Nichkhun’s eye level and replied, “It doesn’t really matter, does it?” 

“What does matter is that you have to fight us if you want to live,” Changmin continued. He fully enjoyed the realization and intelligence that seeped into Nichkhun’s eyes; this was why they had chosen him. 

“Two against one? That hardly seems fair,” Nichkhun countered. His life may not be perfect lately, hence the drinking, but it was damn worth fighting for. 

“It isn’t,” Changmin conceded, “So you’ll fight me first. If you win, you fight him.” He jerked a thumb in Yunho’s direction. Changmin may fight with rage but Yunho fought with a grace that surpassed Changmin’s skill. 

Nichkhun didn’t understand why the bulkier man would be first, but he was in no position to argue. “And if I beat you both, I can go free?”

“Yes,” Yunho said. In rare occasions - it had only happened twice - both brothers had fallen and they had kept their word. After they cut their opponents tongue out, they let them go with a stern warning about what should happen if they write the events of that night down. Changmin thought it was risky but Yunho insisted upon it. Yunho and Changmin always chose their toughest opponents for when they killed together and Yunho refused to cheat that tradition by going back on their promises. 

Nichkhun appraised the brothers, looking for a sign of a lie. He found none and then he nodded slightly. Yunho offered Nichkhun a hand and helped the man up. 

“So, how do we do this?” Nichkhun asked. 

“You just fight,” Yunho replied, shrugging. He backed off about twenty feet, giving the other men their room. 

Nichkhun and Changmin started circling each other, looking for weaknesses. Changmin, of course, already knew all of Nichkhun’s but the man deserved that right for a fair fight. Nichkhun noticed the slight limp in Changmin’s gait, a leftover injury from Gary, determined to leave his mark. The man knew karate from his merchant travels to Japan so Nichkhun decided to rush Changmin first. Might as well get it over with as soon as possible, he thought. Changmin had plenty of experience fighting against karate moves, from his practice with Yunho, so he found it easy to dodge all of Nichkhun’s attacks. Nichkhun was fighting for his life so he kept on the offense as much as he could.

Nichkhun’s knowledge of karate was failing him in his panic so he quickly reverted to a mixture of fist fighting and a few random karate moves his muscles could recall. For minutes, Nichkhun advanced on Changmin, punching, kicking, and chopping rapidly without landing a single hit on Changmin’s body. The crazy man didn’t attack Nichkhun, either, he just blocked. This infuriated Nichkhun and his mind worked furiously to come up with some way to snag Changmin. 

While Changmin was distracted blocking a kick, Nichkhun launched a right handed uppercut to Changmin’s stomach, robbing Changmin of his breath. Before Changmin could regain his senses, Nichkhun punched his ribs again with the left hand. He finished off with a right hook to Changmin’s face before switching tactics. 

Nichkhun dropped to a crouch, swinging a leg around to catch Changmin’s feet. Changmin fell to the ground and Nichkhun wasted no time in pouncing on him. Changmin saw the move coming and tossed the man off him with his feet before Nichkhun could do any damage. Nichkhun rolled to his feet quickly as Changmin stood up. Nichkhun had worn himself out from his flurry of rapid attacks. Coupled with his aching head from the alcohol and the earlier blow, Nichkhun’s next punch lacked its usual intensity. Changmin ducked away from the left jab but caught the right fist as it swung toward his face. Nichkhun tried to twist away and out of Changmin’s grasp, which only resulted in him being caught around the neck. He struggled as much as he could but had no more tricks to escape the situation. Nichkhun knew he had made a fatal mistake. 

Changmin nodded at Yunho as he held Nichkhun in a choke hold. The younger brother approached the pair with a dagger he had been tossing around earlier. Nichkhun looked into Yunho’s eyes with fear but was glad that he wouldn’t be tortured. Yunho glanced at Changmin and the brothers simultaneously snapped Nichkhun’s neck and stabbed him in the stomach. Nichkhun’s body hung between the brothers for moments as they savored the sensation of his life fading. Yunho withdrew the dagger when Nichkhun’s muscles all relaxed and Changmin released him as well. Nichkhun’s body crumpled to the ground and the brothers shared a look of pure joy. 

“He wasn’t as much of a challenge as I thought,” Changmin admitted, although he was still riding out his killing high. 

“I think the alcohol was dulling his senses,” Yunho added. He breathed deeply, taking in one last moment of pure exhilaration. “We should get to work.”

“The sun’s almost up,” Changmin agreed and the brothers began to move again. Yunho prepared the body for its new home at the bottom of the Thames while Changmin cleaned the blood off the floor and set the warehouse back to looking suitably filthy. 

Yunho thought he heard a noise like a stair creaking but he brushed it off. Seconds later, he once again heard the squeaking noise and twice was too many to be a coincidence.

“What was that?” Yunho asked, alert. He searched the room for signs of an intruder but could find none. All the shadows were empty and nothing looked disturbed, beyond what the brothers had done. 

“I didn’t hear anything,” Changmin replied, continuing to clean. “It was probably just the wind.” Yunho shook his head and returned to his work, trying to forget the uneasy sensation. 

But even as they sunk Nichkhun’s body into the Thames, making sure their crimes would never come to the public’s attention, Yunho couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching them.

For days Yunho felt that way. At first, he had convinced himself that it was his conscious making him guilty for his crimes but then he remembered that he didn’t feel guilty, not one bit, just paranoid, so he ruled out that possibility. As the weeks went by, Yunho grew more and more certain that he and his brother were being tracked. 

One afternoon, when Yunho was sure he had seen a person behind him all day, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He came back from his job at the armory – their money had to come from somewhere- to find Changmin chopping up vegetables for a stew. Changmin always did the cooking; Yunho had a tendency to destroy everything he touched when he was in the kitchen.  
“How was work?” Changmin asked, barely looking up from his knife. 

“Same as always,” Yunho replied. “Watching over toys that I can’t play with.” Yunho had an affinity for fighting, just as Changmin did, but in a different way. Changmin was all harsh words and blunt fists whereas Yunho killed with a grace that had long been lost to soldiers. Changmin had decided to buy Yunho a nice sword for next Christmas since the man despised guns and preferred knives. The elegant rapier was tucked underneath Changmin’s bed, waiting for its owner to brandish it for the first time. 

“I don’t know what that is, but it smells delicious,” Yunho said, walking over to his brother, mouth watering.

“I’m trying something new,” Changmin replied.

“And I’m your guinea pig?” Yunho asked, fake horror staining his face.

“Pretty much,” Changmin deadpanned.

“Can I help?” Yunho inquired, just to make the gesture. 

“You know, I don’t really feel like burning the kitchen down today, so that’s going to be a no. You just go relax and don’t even think about looking this way.”

“Your recipe is a secret?” Yunho asked, melding his aching body with the couch. 

“No,” Changmin answered, “But you could ruin it just by looking at it.”

Yunho stuck his tongue out at his brother, which Changmin quickly returned. “Whatever, if you want to cook all day, I’m not going to argue with you.” Changmin just snorted in response and there was a silence in their apartment for about thirty seconds before Yunho brought up what had been bugging him for days.

“Someone’s been following us, Changmin.” The chopping stopped for a second before Changmin resumed his systematic disfiguring of the carrots. 

“Nonsense, why would anyone be following us?” At Yunho’s incredulous look over the top of the couch, Changmin laughed a little. Really, his brother was just too adorable sometimes. “We’ve been absolutely meticulous. There’s no way anyone would know and if they did, it would be all over The Times, don’t you think? And even if they were, they would probably think we were Jack the Ripper; that guy’s all over the newspapers. And you and I have alibis for all his killings.”

“I guess so,” Yunho conceded, still unable to get rid of the goading feeling. But he left it for another day and sunk further into the couch, content to wait for his stew. 

Slowly, the paranoia burrowed itself into Yunho’s brain despite Changmin’s assurances that everything was fine and no one would find out about their secret. It frightened Changmin to see his brother so distraught and he was worried about the mysterious presence as well. Despite that, he couldn’t refrain from killing just because of a creepy feeling. He was addicted to it although he told himself that he could stop if it became necessary. Changmin convinced his mind that Yunho was just being overcautious so he didn’t have to deal with the way Yunho flinched at every noise and searched every shadow for demons. He should have known. He should have known that Yunho’s hunches were always right but in this game, he bet with their lives, and Changmin bluffed against the wrong opponent. 

They were hunting their next victim when it happened. 

Yunho was sipping on his usual ale and Changmin was downing a whiskey, holed up in another shady bar in the bowels of London. Their next target liked to use his two sons and his wife as punching bags so it was Yunho’s turn to let his monster out to play. They had followed the man out to a dark alley, about to knock him out with the Winchester, when their vision began to get fuzzy around the edges. The last thing Changmin heard before he collapsed to the filthy London street was his brother calling out his name. 

When Changmin woke up to find himself tied up with a strange taste in his mouth, he knew that he never should have trusted the whiskey. 

Looking around him, Changmin recognized their warehouse. He was in a cruel irony of the normal situation where their victims were sometimes tied to this very pole until they woke up. Panic flowed through Changmin like the wind through the reeds. This was what Yunho had been trying to warn him about. Because whoever it was that had done this, they had been stalking the brothers for weeks, months even. Changmin had been sure no one had ever seen them kill but here he was, in the exact same position as all of their victims. 

Yunho was across from him, tied to a different post in the warehouse but unlike him, his younger brother showed no signs of regaining consciousness. Changmin searched Yunho’s body for signs of injury but he could find none, and while he breathed a sigh of relief, he also wondered why Yunho wouldn’t rouse. 

“Yunho! Yunho!” Changmin tried whispering to him but his voice slowly got louder when Yunho didn’t respond. “Yunho! Wake up already, god damn it!”

“Can you please keep it down? You’re giving me a headache.” A man appeared from the shadows. He was the most nondescript man Changmin had ever seen. He wasn’t too tall or too short and while his face couldn’t be considered handsome, Changmin could find nothing wrong with it. Add to that the brown hair, brown eyes, and London accent and Changmin would bet this man could disappear into a crowd flawlessly. Well, except for the huge butcher knife he was carrying, that would probably catch people’s eye.

“Why isn’t my brother waking? What did you do to him?” Changmin asked, although he already had a pretty good idea. 

“Chloral Hydrate. I gave him the same dose as you; he’s just so tiny, you see. He should stir soon and then the fun can really start.” The childish glee that covered the unnamed man’s face rivaled that of Yunho’s when he killed. And that scared Changmin. 

Damn the whiskey. Changmin knew it had smelled sweeter than it should. The prohibitionists said that whiskey could kill you but Changmin didn’t think that they meant in it in quite that way.

“Who are you?” he demanded. Changmin may not be the more up-to-date of the two brothers but he was no idiot either and he wanted to hear this man say it out loud. 

“I’m sure you’ve heard my name before, boy. Everyone knows me now. I’m Jack the Ripper.”

Changmin didn’t gasp or even look surprised, he just wanted a confirmation of knowledge he already suspected. The Ripper however looked unsatisfied with Changmin’s non-response. 

“Don’t you get it, boy? I’m the Ripper, the most feared man in London. But you can call me Kyuhyun since you’ll both be dead very soon.”

“Feared by whom? Prostitutes? Last I checked, my brother and I were no prostitutes.” Oh, that’s good, Changmin, antagonize the man with the big knife, that’s sure to keep you and Yunho safe. 

“Perhaps the prostitutes are the only ones that were ever found,” the Ripper replied mysteriously. Changmin rolled his eyes. This man was a coward. He kept him and Yunho tied up; at least the brothers gave their victims a fair fight, it’s just that the men rarely ever won against their sneaky and trained fighting skills. Changmin had no doubt that the Ripper had only ever killed the prostitutes before. Leaving the mangled bodies out in the open was a part of his Anger; without it, there would be no satisfaction. 

Silence lapsed between the two. Changmin didn’t really want to talk to The Ripper –he refused to give the man a name like a normal human being. He felt like he had been beat at his own game and that made Changmin petulant. He always thought better in silence anyway. He and Yunho were going to need some awesome escape plan when he woke up. 

“You want to know how I figured it out?” Apparently the Ripper didn’t care for Changmin’s planning needs. Changmin refused to answer; who cared how he figured it out?

“The cigars.” Now that got Changmin’s attention.

“I had thought there was another killer out there for months now but I never had any evidence. I kept my eyes and my ears open but you two were nearly invisible. But then I saw a man walk out of a bar for a piss one time and he never came back. When I went out to look for him and couldn’t find him, I knew you had gotten him. Did you know that you always leave a cigar behind in the pub?” The Ripper had wandered over to Changmin during his monologue and he patted the pocket of Changmin’s coat with his last sentence, a cigar stashed there even now. 

Changmin felt like he was going to hyperventilate. This was all his fault, the whole goddamn thing. Yunho was always telling him to quit smoking. 

“And after that, it was only one small conversation with the bartender before I knew who my fellow monster was. But just imagine my surprise when I follow you to a kill for the first time and your brother follows along! Yunho’s a good kid, Changmin. You really should try to keep him away from such dark things.” The Ripper’s condescending tone was making Changmin want to bend his ribs in half one by one. 

“Don’t talk like you know him,” Changmin managed to bite out around his fury. 

“Oh, but I do know him, and you. I know that he speaks French just in case you two need to flee the country quickly. I know that you keep that stupid Winchester because you want to run away to the New World and fight the Injuns in a place where killing is common. I know that he’s the only one you ever talk to willingly and I know that you would be nothing without him. And I plan on using that to my advantage. I want you to watch as I destroy everything you care about so you understand why I have to kill you two.”

“At least I’m not alone,” Changmin shot back. The Ripper didn’t appear to have an answer for that; he looked unaffected but the corner of his mouth had twitched a little at Changmin’s statement. 

Silence threatened once more but Changmin jumped in. His brain couldn’t think of any other plan than to keep the Ripper interested and talking. Maybe he would slip up and make a mistake.

“What are you going to do with us? Leave us out in the open like all your special lady companions?” He didn’t really want to know the answer but he had to stall for time. If Changmin had more time then he could just think of a plan to get them out of here and he and Yunho could move to the country and they would never meet such psychos again. Yes, Changmin thought, just keep the crazy man talking and everything would be alright. 

“No, I’m going to toss you two into the river. That is how you do it right? Weighing the corpses down with rocks so no one will ever find the bodies?” At Changmin’s astonished look, the Ripper scoffed. “What? I already told you I followed you. I needed to do my research on the two little amateurs that could have potentially blown my entire operation. See, if you and your little brother here ever slipped up, it would be my name that took the fall. The people of London are under the false impression that there is only one serial killer in their midst, you see.” The Ripper looked into the distance at the city as a whole, his lip curling with extreme distaste for humanity. Changmin almost pitied him in that moment. Sure, he hated the world too but at least he had Yunho, as he had already pointed out to the Ripper. The Ripper had no one to share the Anger with; no one to kill with or play with or eat with. Changmin knew if he had to choose between giving up killing or Yunho, he would choose killing without a moment’s notice. Of course it would be difficult and stressful, but Changmin would have his little brother to help him get through it. The Ripper had no one. If the Ripper didn’t have him and his brother tied up, Changmin might really feel for the older man. 

Given the current situation however, Changmin couldn’t help but curse his nature. It was what had gotten them into this in the first place. Yunho had a dark side too, a part of him that enjoyed the thrill of the kill, but he would have never started at all if Changmin hadn’t brought it up first. This Changmin knew for certain. If it hadn’t have been for him, Yunho wouldn’t be just minutes away from dying. 

“But soon there will only be one killer and you boys won’t be a liability anymore,” the Ripper finally continued, breaking himself out of his fog of thought. “I’m tired of waiting for your damn brother to wake up. Now you’re going to watch and learn why people call me The Ripper,” he smirked down at Changmin and advanced to Yunho’s still unconscious body. The older brother struggled violently against his bonds and screamed out as loud as he could. He no longer cared about their secret or about how if anyone were to come and save them, they would question the Ripper’s sudden change in victimology. That was something that he and Yunho could figure out together, most likely switching cities, but there was no conflict to solve if there wasn’t a Yunho. Changmin screamed and screamed but no one was coming to help them. And he prayed to a God that he had abandoned many years before, begging for him to save Yunho’s life. Changmin would give up everything, his anger, his killings, even his life, so long as Yunho got to live. Nothing mattered as much as Yunho did.

A small part of Changmin’s mind knew that no one was going to save them; that no miraculous act of fate would strike the Ripper with lightening, and that small section just hoped that Yunho didn’t wake up. It hoped that the Ripper would have some mercy on the more innocent of the two and slit his throat first. Changmin was let down again as the Ripper took a rusty surgical knife to Yunho’s lower stomach. Yunho was yanked into consciousness, howling with pain, as the knife carved into his skin and the Ripper removed an entire sheet of skin from Yunho’s body. 

It wasn’t easy, like separating piles of clothing or taking a piece of lettuce off a sandwich. Removing skin was a messy process and the Ripper had to keep slicing the layers of skin and muscle tissue sporadically until he could tear it from Yunho’s body. From the articles Changmin read in the paper, the Ripper usually removed his prostitute’s uterus with a medical incision but it appeared that the Ripper was feeling a little extra cruel today. 

Tears rolled down Yunho’s face while he screamed and when the Ripper finally stopped tearing at his skin, he seemed to be relieved. Yunho believed that he would be killed now and the pain would stop. There was just so much pain. Unfortunately for Yunho, the Ripper couldn’t remove a uterus from a man but there was another gland around the same area that the Ripper had decided was a suitable substitute. The Ripper threw the layers of Yunho’s skin at Changmin’s feet, nauseating the older brother, and then switched his surgical knife for a smaller, more precise looking instrument. He grinned at Changmin’s horrified face at asked him, “Ever wondered where your prostate was?” He then turned back to Yunho who had begun to realize that his torture had yet to end. As the Ripper descended on Yunho’s internal organs, Yunho couldn’t control his words.

“No, no, no, please God don’t! I swear we’ll stop, we won’t kill anyone anymore! Just stop, please, please, please, please stop. No! Don’t! No!” Yunho begged, breaking Changmin’s heart. The Ripper showed no signs of slowing down as he dug around in Yunho’s organs, moving things around that were never meant to see the light of day. After some needless meandering to see how much Yunho could take before he passed out, the Ripper finally found the gland he was looking for and began to slice around the edges. The prostate was a small thing, only about the size of a thumb and the Ripper had it removed and stabbed through with a probe in no time. The Ripper looked down at Yunho, still sobbing and screaming incoherent words about “so much blood” and “not again” and “please leave Changmin out of this, just leave my brother alone.” 

“What was that?” The Ripper asked. “Don’t kill Changmin? Really is that what you’re going to think about in a situation like this?” He gave Yunho a disapproving look such that a father would give his son who hasn’t cleaned his room. The Ripper then sighed, rapidly annoyed with Yunho’s incessant noise, and ripped open Yunho’s carotid artery with the larger knife he had discarded earlier. There was a sickening gargling noise as Yunho’s blood bubbled from his throat and then all was silent and Changmin was left without his reason for living. 

“Well at least he stopped that bloody screaming, right?” The Ripper smirked at Changmin, as he stood over Yunho’s dead body with a blood-coated knife in his right hand and Yunho’s prostate punctured on the probe in his left. The Ripper giggled to himself at his little pun and smiled really brightly at Changmin. It was time to finish the job. And boy did the Ripper love his job. 

Yunho’s dead body. So much blood. The screaming. Yunho’s screaming. Yunho’s dead. Changmin’s brain stopped functioning as he tried to process what had just happened to them. 

Something in Changmin broke in that moment. He had caused this and his brain couldn’t handle that responsibility so something just snapped. Kyuhyun was confused, and rather disappointed, at the utter lack of reaction he received from the older brother as he slashed his throat and carved into his stomach. It was just that Changmin had retreated so far back into his mind as he self-destructed that he could no longer feel his physical body. Changmin’s soul started to unravel from the ends as the full consequences of his actions were revealed to him. Changmin was just broken, pure and simple and true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, their ages are switched, yes, their physiques are different. No, they would not look the same in different lives and times. 
> 
> For historical accuracy, Yunho's name would be Adam, Changmin's Eric, and Nichkhun's Liam. 
> 
> Please review and comment! Every comment, a unicorn is born.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

New Jersey 1954

Changmi looked up from her bed at the clock. 2:43. She was so close to her favorite time of the day when Yunseo would come visit with her until it was suppertime or until Yunseo had another commitment. Her best friend came and visited her every single day, despite the older patients that said the visits would get less and less frequent until they stopped coming altogether. Yunseo was an exception to that cynical rule, just like how she was an exception to every other rule out there, especially if it had anything to do with Changmi. 

2:48. For her part, Changmi knew how lucky she was that Yunseo continued her visits at all – and that she was in her life in the first place – but Changmi knew she wasn’t supposed to be here anyway. She was lucky in some areas but Changmi couldn’t help but curse her fortune in others. The fact that she was in this accursed asylum at all spoke volumes about her luck. Greystone Park Psychiatric Hospital. Might as well name it for what it truly is; a prison, or better yet a torture facility. She knew for a fact that she wasn’t crazy or delusional or whatever else all those phony doctors had called her. Changmi’s parents were convinced she was screwed up in the head and even Yunseo had taken their side. It was the one and only time Yunseo had ever betrayed her but Changmi found that she couldn’t get too mad at her best friend; after all, she still made time to see her every day of every week, when her parents had forgotten her existence, beyond the medical bills, months ago. 

2:54. Changmi’s problem wasn’t that she was crazy. It was that she knew. She remembered. She remembered everything and there were too many memories for her to handle. There were days when she would scream for someone to fucking save Yunho from the Ripper and other days where she demanded to know where Yunseo was and why wasn’t her favorite slave serving her. On Changmi’s better days, she could put it together. Unfortunately, good days were rather hard to come by. 

3:00. Finally. She grinned as the second hand clicked onto the number twelve and the asylum bells started ringing their three o’clock tune. Yunseo was always on time and she didn’t disappoint as the visitor’s door was opened before the bells finished their harmony.

“Hey you,” Yunseo called out cheerfully as she entered the room. This was one of the things Changmi loved most about Yunseo; she treated her like they were still best friends in tenth grade and not like Changmi was some freak in an insane asylum. 

People regarded her as an abomination as a child when she grew up with so many confusing memories of past lives. Her soul was so old but she still had to physically mature in this body. As she had grown up, Changmi learned how to control her reactions to events and how to force her face into a mask so that the public would think she was just like any other average citizen. Meeting Yunseo in middle school was both the best and the worst thing that had ever happened to Changmi; she recognized her Destined One instantly which brought great joy into her life, but it also fed the memories power until her flashbacks became all-consuming. Yunseo didn’t realize that all of Changmi’s “delusions” revolved around her and no one intended to tell her. Yunseo simply thought that the fits she had witnessed used her name because she was in the vicinity. Greystone Park was Changmi’s family’s last resort when she could no longer be a functioning member of society. 

She understood what had happened to her and she spent years trying to figure out why she could remember. Changmi had gone over many possibilities in her head; that the sight of Yunho so broken by the Ripper’s hand had destroyed some block in her mind that kept most souls from remembering their previous lives, or maybe that it was a punishment of sorts since Changmi’s life had most defiantly not been easy as a result of her “condition.”

Despite both of the possibilities, however, Changmi thought that the reason she remembered was to teach her a lesson. Fate did not make mistakes and it wouldn’t waste an entire life of possible happiness simply for a punishment. Changmi had yet to figure out whatever lesson she was supposed to learn but she figured it had to be extremely important for Fate to intervene. 

All those lives, everything Yunseo had been for her – a friend, a fellow soldier, a brother, a lover. Everything changed as the Earth aged; but not them. Their relationship may differ from life to life but Yunseo’s soul was connected to Changmi’s and they loved each other throughout each reincarnation. That would never change. Changmi thought that she was incredibly lucky to be tied to such an amazing person. 

As she thought such things, however, Changmi couldn’t help but realize how much suffering she had caused her Destined One. Yunseo had died early so many times because of her. Changmi thought of Yunho in London and goose bumps still covered her body, along with the urge to find the Ripper again and rip him limb from limb. She couldn’t believe that scum of the Earth had never been caught; how could he get away with his deeds when she and Yunho, two incredibly clever people together, had not? Changmi spent hours searching through old London pictures from that time, trying to catch a glimpse of the man, when she could camp out in the library without anyone bothering her. She thought that if she could just find him and learn more about her and Yunho’s killer, then she would feel a little at peace with her most recent past life. Secretly, Changmi just wanted to find out in what horrific way he died so she could cackle but she told herself it was for a more justified reason. 

“Hey~” Changmi answered the initial greeting in a sing-song voice. To some, it may sound like she was being sarcastic, but Changmi just really liked to sing and Yunseo always put her in the best mood. 

“I brought you a present,” Yunseo said, bribing Changmi. 

“What’s the catch?” Changmi asked, instantly suspicious. It wasn’t uncommon for Yunseo to bring her something; a card just to cheer her up, flowers so the room didn’t smell as dead, souvenirs from her most recent travels, small little things to make Changmi happy. But these gifts always came at a price and if Yunseo wanted her to apologize to the attendant for her snarky behavior again, Changmi refused to do it. 

“No catch, is it so wrong for me to want to make my best friend happy?” Yunseo asked, thoroughly insulted.

Yunseo was weird today; she was more fidgety than that time in ninth grade when the boy she liked had asked her for her help in dance class. Yunseo’s smile was just as bright as usual but there was something hidden behind it, a secret. 

“Yes,” Changmi deadpanned. Yunseo just gave her a “mom” look and passed her the gift bag. 

“Just open it, you brat.”

Changmi stuck her tongue out at Yunseo, ignoring the nauseating wave of nostalgia it instigated. She took the bag with no small amount of caution, waiting for the small print to spring up and kick her in the ass. Yunseo rolled her eyes and nodded when Changmi glanced her way one more time before descending on the poor gift bag like a vulture on road kill. 

“Golly,” Yunseo said, “You do know that tissue paper can be reused right?”

Changmi did not dignify that comment with a response and pulled out a very small jewelry box. It was blue and velvet and looked a bit like an engagement ring box but it was too small. She slowly opened it, excitement racing through her. Changmi loved jewelry. Inside the box lay one silver infinity symbol, encrusted with tiny little tanzanite stones. Lifting it up to inspect in the light, Changmi realized that it was an earring – only one earring. She glanced over at Yunseo in confusion and her best friend turned her head slightly so Changmi could see the corresponding earring in her left cartilage piercing. That cartilage piercing was mirrored by one in Changmi’s own right ear. They had gotten them together when Changmi turned sixteen and they didn’t need their parent’s permission to do something so crazy.

“Well, put it in, why don’t you?” Yunseo said, growing tired of the adoring look in Changmi’s eyes. Well, she never really got sick of it but in this case, she didn’t really deserve it. Yunseo stepped close to Changmi and snatched the earring from her hand, putting the thing in Changmi’s ear herself. 

“See?” she said, moving them over to the mirror. Changmi had nice things in her apartment, unlike many other patients at Greystone Park because she hadn’t tried to injure anyway in two years; Changmi had more control than that now. “Now we have matching earrings too. Because we’ll always be together.”

Changmi stared at Yunseo’s reflection; longer than you know, she thought. Tears flooded Changmi’s eyes as she thought that Yunseo didn’t even realize the weight behind her words. But then again, Changmi understood and look where that got her. 

“Don’t cry, silly,” Yunseo said, cupping her face and wiping the tears from her eyes. “I just want you to know, that’s all.” Changmi was happy, so happy, she didn’t even have words to express to Yunseo how she was feeling so she just embraced her friend as tightly as she could. 

But the gesture made Changmi even more suspicious. She knew something was up. Yunseo was hiding something from her. Yunseo never hid anything from her. 

Changmi pulled away from Yunseo and looked her dead in the eye, knowing Yunseo never could lie to her. Never could, never will be able to, she thought with a smirk. “What’s wrong?”

Yunseo’s eyes opened wide, like a child with a lollipop in one hand saying they didn’t know who had taken it. It never failed to surprise her how well Changmi could read her emotions. She stepped back and led Changmi to sit down, preparing her for her announcement.

“Your parents scheduled you for another electroshock therapy session in a couple weeks.” Yunseo trailed off awkwardly. Changmi sighed. She hated her electroshock appointments, she really did, especially since she knew there was nothing wrong with her that doctors could heal. But she could sense that Yunseo wasn’t disclosing everything. 

“That’s not all though, is it?” Changmi leveled Yunseo with a “Tell me or I shall bribe and tickle people until I find out on my own” kind of look.

“No. It isn’t,” Yunseo replied quietly, gathering her courage and hoping Changmi wouldn’t hate her after what she was about to say. “I’m getting married, Changmi.”

“What? Why the hell haven’t I met this guy before?” Changmi screamed, feeling wronged that she had been robbed of the chance to intimidate her best friend’s boyfriend. A part of her brain was numb, confused, but her indignation came first. 

“You’ve been having a lot of bad days recently and I didn’t want to upset you by introducing someone new when you were already so stressed,” Yunseo tried to explain. 

“How long have you been dating this guy? And what’s his goddamn name, anyway?” Changmi demanded to know.

“We’ve been dating for a year and a half now and his name is Hojoon,” Yunseo replied, preparing herself for the outburst about to come. 

“A year and a half? Yunseo! I have not been having bad days for a year and a half now!” Changmi cried. What the hell? This just wasn’t something you kept from your best friend. 

“I just…” Yunseo trailed off, knowing she couldn’t pull the wool over Changmi’s eyes. “I just didn’t want you to feel like you were losing me. You’re my best friend, Changmi, and you always will be. You might have to share me with Hojoon from now on but he doesn’t have to come with me on visits at all if you don’t want him to.”

Suddenly, a terrible, dark thought crossed Changmi’s mind and she couldn’t get the possibility out of her head. It nagged away at her, the words forming in her tongue and spitting out of her mouth before her mind could tell her “no.”

“Are you ashamed of me?” She watched Yunseo’s face – her Destined One couldn’t hide anything from her – and was relieved when Yunseo displayed only surprise, not guilt. Oh wait, there was some anger mixed in with the surprise. Make that a lot of anger.

“Of course I’m not ashamed of you! What the hell, Changmi? Really? Like really? What makes you think you can accuse me of such a thing? You have no right, no right!” Yunseo looked positively livid and Changmi decided that she probably should never doubt Yunseo again if she desired to keep living. 

“I want to meet him,” Changmi exclaimed, looking into Yunseo’s eyes with determination flaming behind her own. 

“I figured that you would say that,” Yunseo replied, a small smile gracing her rapidly calming features. 

“Well, I need to decide if he’s worthy of my best friend,” Changmi smiled and nudged Yunseo with her elbow, drawing a similar expression on Yunseo’s face. 

“He’s amazing, Changmi; you’d like him. He’s sweet and handsome and caring and funny. He’s everything I ever wanted in a man,” Yunseo gushed and Changmi could tell from the look in her eyes just how much Yunseo loved this man. Changmi found herself loving Hojoon a little too, already, because if Yunseo loved him so much, then so could she. “I mean, of course he has his faults – he’s addicted to video games and he gets really shy in front of other people and he is super clumsy…” Yunseo continued to ramble but Changmi was too busy watching her best friend be happy to really listen too hard. She was always thinking about bridal shower ideas. Hey wait; Yunseo and Hojoon, Hojoon and Yunseo, HY, HershY, HershY Kisses….

“Hey, you guys can be the HershY couple! Hojoon and Yunseo. Holy crap, this opens up a whole ton of theme ideas.” Changmi was picturing HershY Kisses and Reese’s at every single one of their parties from now on, even their fiftieth anniversary - if Hojoon was good enough for Yunseo, that is.

“Stop. Stop right there Changmi, I can already see your evil mind working. I am NOT putting candy on top of our wedding cake.” Damn, Changmi thought, Yunseo just knew her too well. 

“What? Why?” Changmi whined. “That would be so cute!”

“No,” Yunseo replied with an authoritarian tone, “No, that would be tacky.”

“Tacky can be cute!” Changmi protested. “Wait. I am in the wedding right?”

“Of course you’re in the wedding silly! You’re the fucking maid of honor!”

Changmi was secretly pleased but she wasn’t going to let that show now. “What kind of maid of honor hasn’t even met the groom?”

Yunseo didn’t respond to that and a gloomy atmosphere overtook the friends. Great, Changmi thought, good job of killing the mood and making Yunseo feel guilty.

“So how did you meet Hojoon anyway?” Changmi finally asked. They had a lot of catching up to do since she had already missed out on the first year and a half of their relationship. 

“It was the stupidest thing, really. I was looking for a game to bring you that we could play together so I was in a store in the mall. You remember the mall that we used to go to together? Well, I spotted this game called ‘Go,” it’s Asian, and I just knew you would love it. I don’t know how but I thought it was right before I even knew the rules.” Changmi’s heart clenched when she thought of the meaning of that game and how Yunho had always wanted to play it instead of chess but she hadn’t let him. “Well, Go was on the top shelf and I couldn’t reach it so I went to find an employee but she was all “Just a moment, ma’am, I have better things to do” and then Hojoon comes out of nowhere and gets it down for me. I thanked him – he was quite the gentlemen- but on my way to the cashier I dropped the case and the pieces went flying everywhere. Hojoon just laughed and helped me clean it up and by the time we had it all accounted for, we were talking and laughing and he asked me if I wanted to go for a drive. Well I told him ‘I don’t go on drives with strangers’ and he said ‘My name is Hojoon, now we aren’t strangers.’ So I took a risk and went with him and it was amazing, Changmi. He was sweet and we drove then he took me to McDonalds, you know that new restaurant? Well, the food was certainly different but Hojoon was perfect.”

“That’s quite a tale,” Changmi said. Her brain was still reeling about the role she played in their meeting. 

“Yes, it is. It’s just that I’ve waited so long to tell you, Changmi, and I’m so excited for the wedding.” Yunseo hoped that she had not ranted too much about Hojoon; she was serious about not making Changmi feel left out.

“I’m happy for you,” Changmi said simply. The words were modest but the meaning and sincerity behind them meant the world to Yunseo, who wrapped her best friend in a bear hug.

“I’m so glad,” Yunseo replied. She spent the rest of the afternoon filling Changmi on all the details of their relationship that Changmi had missed out on. They played Go in his honor and Changmi learned just how fitting Hojoon was for Yunseo. Her best friend hugged her once more before she had to leave, promising to bring Hojoon in eight days when he could get off work early. Changmi watched her leave with a heavy, not happy, heart. It was a rather confusing mix for Changmi but she was determined to see Yunseo happy.

Changmi had thought she was doing fine, that she had been dealing with the loss, of sorts, of her best friend well. But on the third day after she found out, Changmi could not escape the dredges of their fifth life. She woke up completely immersed in her German-Changmin persona.

“Yunseo! Yunseo, where did you run off to?” He called out upon finding their bed empty. He sighed; his wife was nowhere to be found. Changmin sat up and listened for any sort of noise that would indicate she was still in their cottage. Upon hearing nothing, no banging of pots and pans or soft humming, he rolled off the bed. If Yunseo had abandoned him again, there would be hell to pay this time. No matter how many times he marked Yunseo’s skin with his mark, claiming her as Changmin’s and only Changmin’s, it seemed that Yunseo always forgot it.

Changmin hummed thoughtfully, as he searched the nearby area for Yunseo. He passed many people that did not respond when he greeted them in German and asked where Yunseo was. 

“Guten Morgan! Haben Sie meine Frau, Isolde, gesehen?” One of the people he asked opened their eyes really wide after his question and ran off. Changmin shrugged and kept searching. Yunseo had to be around here somewhere, she never ran too far. 

There! Changmin found Yunseo! The other patients scrambled as he rushed over to Hyoyeon, the unfortunate patient who happened to be blonde and slightly resembled the way Yunseo looked in Germany. He grabbed Hyoyeon tightly by the arms and shook her a little bit.

“Warum hast du mir aufzugeben?” He kept screaming in German, asking Hyoyeon why she had abandoned him. Hyoyeon spoke no German so her continued silence angered Changmin who slapped her across the face.

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” Hyoyeon sobbed, holding a hand to her red face and scared for her life. “Please, I just don’t know.”

“Ruhe!” Changmin yelled. Silence. He slapped her again from the other side when she continued to blubber. When Hyoyeon cowered away from him, Changmin grabbed Hyoyeon’s arm and twisted it harshly behind her back. Hyoyeon cried out in pain while Changmin told her that they were going home.

By this time, the wide-eyed person he had spoken to ran into the room with three male attendants.

“There she is!” the man called, pointing at Changmin. Changmi’s normally calm face twisted into a hideous growl and the attendants, familiar with her past antics, pulled out the needles they had brought with them. Changmi got violent sometimes when she was completely consumed by her delusions, though not often, not lately. The one clue they always had when she went into a fit was how she would speak in tongues. Anytime Changmi spoke in a different language, they knew she was gone. 

The attendants approached her cautiously, unsure of what she would do with Hyoyeon but Changmin released her and threw his wife behind his back. Changmin knew he hurt his wife but she was his to hurt and protect, no one else’s.

“Changmi honey, you in there?” One of the attendants asked, just to make sure. When Changmi dropped into a defensive position and raised her fists, the three men looked at each other and nodded. Changmi put up a ridiculously good fight for a little girl, they thought, but she was outnumbered and dosed with the drugs before she could do any deep tissue damage. Changmi was then carried into solitaire until sleep could purge her of her “delusions.” 

She woke up the next morning with words of apology ready on her tongue. Before she could leave her room though, Changmi ran to the bathroom and threw up. The sedation drugs always made her slightly nauseous but it was the memory of what she was going to do to Hyoyeon, what she had done to Yunseo, that made her shudder. Not only had that Changmin cultivated a monster within Yunseo but the sheer beatings that Changmin had put her through made Changmi gag. No, she thought, what I put her through. The memory of Changmin burning his name into Yunseo’s back with a metal poker had another round of bile rising up Changmi’s throat. Yunseo always remembered who she belonged to after that. 

When Changmi could finally lift her head, she looked around desperately for Hyoyeon; she had to say she was sorry; she had to see for herself just how badly she had hurt Hyoyeon. When she went into the lobby, Changmi was informed by an attendant that although she was not restricted to her room, there were certain areas that she could and could not enter. And that Hyoyeon would be in those prohibited areas.

“Can I just see her? Please, Bommie, I have to apologize. I have to tell her how sorry I am. So, so sorry,” Changmi begged.

“I’m sorry, Changmi, but I can’t let you do that,” Bom replied, hating the situation. Bom was Changmi’s favorite attendant and she had been there with Changmi the longest.

“Why not?” Changmi demanded.

“Honey, you broke her wrist,” Bom answered softly. The shock on Changmi’s face reminded her that Changmi had trouble remembering her fits completely.

“What?” Changmi looked down at her deceitful hands, so small but so dangerous. “I – I didn’t mean to! Please let me see her!”

“We know that you didn’t mean to hurt Hyoyeon and that you wouldn’t harm her now but you have to think of Hyoyeon’s mental health as well. You forget where you are. Hyoyeon has schizophrenia; do you think it would be good for her to have to face her attacker?” 

“But I didn’t mean it!” Changmi repeated again, shuttering to think how she had traumatized the poor girl.

“Hyoyeon won’t see that, dear. Her mind plays tricks on her much like yours does. I’m afraid you may trigger another hallucination.” Changmi accepted defeat, not wanting to bring further harm to Hyoyeon, but she was disappointed in the situation and herself.

Nothing could compare to the sadness in Yunseo’s eyes when she visited that day though. It was the worst and it added a bitter taste to Changmi’s already parched mouth.

Finally the day for Hojoon’s visit came and Changmi throw up again that morning, from nervousness. She then paced her room for five hours, prompting the attendants to ask her how she was, just to see if she would reply in English, and if she did, if she thought she was a London man. Changmi did not realize that they were looking for her tell, and unloaded all of her anxiety on the attendants.

“Oh, darling, I’m sure it will all be just peachy,” Bom reassured. She hadn’t seen Changmi this upset, when she was actually Changmi, ever.

“You don’t know that! What if he’s a complete asshole and Yunseo can’t see it! What if he hits her?” The irony of that statement was not lost on Changmi. “What if we have nothing in common? What if he hates me and doesn’t want Yunseo to ever visit me again?” Changmi was just building herself up to a panic attack.

“Changmi darling, Yunseo is your best friend. Do you really think she would stop visiting you just because some guy said so?” Bom asked, one eyebrow raised. Her patient was practically doggy-paddling in her pool of insecurities. 

“No, of course not,” Changmi scowled, that possibility not even occurring to her. “But then she would have to break off the engagement with him for trying to come between us.” Well that surprised Bom; how confident Changmi was in their friendship. “And I don’t want them to break it off. Hojoon’s good for her. You should see the way she talks about him, Bommie, it’s like she’s finally found the body that hers fits perfectly against.” 

Bom thought it was weird that Changmi said nothing of soul mates or destiny but kept it specific to their physical lives. “I’m sure he’ll like you just fine,” Bom conceded. 

“He better because otherwise he could destroy Yunseo’s happiness,” Changmi warned, a dark look entering her eyes. She was well acquainted with the fact that being in love doesn’t always make you happy; being with your soul mate doesn’t even always make you happy. Changmi doubted that she could truly make Yunseo happy the way Hojoon did if the man were to leave Yunseo. In fact, that could come between them if he did! Crap, crap, crap, Changmi thought. Hojoon better like her a lot or Changmi was going to have to fake it for the rest of her life. There was no way she was going to mess this up for Yunseo.

She watched the clock, weight adding to her chest as every second passed by. While she normally looked forward to 3:00, today she dreaded it. Bom held her hand as long as she could but stood up at 2:43 to do some chores before she let Yunseo and Hojoon in. Left alone, Changmi pulled her knees up to her chest, rocking back and forth to calm herself. Her mind raced over all the possibilities but it refused to let her imagine any happy outcomes.

2:48. Changmi stood up from her bed. Her room desperately needed cleaning, yes it did. She couldn’t have Hojoon thinking she was a slob now could she? There wasn’t much for her to pick up but what she could find, Changmi returned to its rightful place. She made her bed and fluffed out the curtains so they looked puffy and welcoming. 

2:54. Maybe it was too clean. Changmi didn’t want to come off like a tight ass either. Hojoon was a man after all; how often did they clean or even think of cleaning? She went around the room throwing things over her chair and onto the floor. It was a careful mess now, judiciously planned to look neither too clean nor too messy. 

3:00. As Changmi appraised her room, nodding in satisfaction, the door opened. It admitted Yunseo’s voice but only her voice as she shoved a man inside. It appeared as if Yunseo was discussing something serious with Bom and the door was swiftly shut again before Changmi could catch the topic of conversation. The man looked around nervously so Changmi was given free range to appraise him. Hojoon, because who else could it be, was a Native American man, tall with long, beautiful hair. He had strong features and big hands. Changmi decided that while he wasn’t model-gorgeous, Hojoon was attractive and friendly looking. A very small part of her wondered if Yunseo felt safe cradled in those sturdy arms but she quickly squished that thought. She and Yunseo could discuss it later anyway….

“So you’re Changmi?” Hojoon asked, already aware of the answer but not knowing what else to say without Yunseo. He was incredibly uncomfortable in this position; he knew what Yunseo had told him about Changmi but he had also seen Changmi’s file. Violent fits did not fit the description Yunseo had given him.

“The one and only,” Changmi answered, looking Hojoon up and down. So far, she was rather unimpressed with the conversation of the one her Destined had decided to spend the rest of this life with. Hojoon’s discomfort was beginning to spread to her and Changmi rubbed at the back of her neck. “You’re Native American,” she said, ever the tactful one. 

Hojoon tensed. From the way Yunseo described her, Changmi wouldn’t be one to oppose inter-racial couples but in this day and age, you couldn’t be too careful. “Yeah. Got a problem with that?”

“Not at all,” Changmi replied, snorting, “I just wouldn’t have guessed from your name.”

“My full name is Hojoon Tamanend Purser,” he said, still not sure where Changmi was coming from. 

“English last name?” Changmi definitely had no issue with Hojoon’s race but she knew that society in general didn’t take well to interracial couples and thought that it had to be hard on him and Yunseo. 

“We don’t have surnames in our culture.”

“Ah,” Changmi replied. You learn something new every day, she supposed.

An awkward silence stretched between them and Changmi panicked as she realized that she hadn’t talked to anyone outside of the asylum besides Yunseo in over five years. What did normal people talk about? Sports? She enjoyed quite a few but what if Hojoon liked a different team than her? The weather? Changmi hadn’t been allowed outside since her little relapse so she only knew that it looked slightly cloudy today. The only thing Changmi and Hojoon had in common so far was Yunseo. Yeah, Changmi decided, Yunseo was a safe topic. 

“So, what makes you think you have the right to marry Yunseo?” Well that came off more hostile than Changmi had been expecting.

“I’m right for her,” Hojoon replied, looking unsurprised by the question. “Did it ever occur to you that while Yunseo spends all her time trying to make you happy, she might need someone to take care of her?”

Changmi didn’t know how to reply to that without sounding crazy or blowing up at Hojoon. Of course it had occurred to her; the thought haunted her every day that she was utterly useless to Yunseo in this life. She made Yunseo happy in one sense but she also made Yunseo’s life much more difficult and trying. 

“Of course I know,” she finally answered quietly. “But I’m a selfish person, Hojoon. I need her. Without Yunseo, I would have no one.”

Hojoon nodded slightly. He already knew of Changmi’s situation but he hadn’t expected Changmi to be so self-aware. In his experience, people tended not to admit their own faults. With that in mind, he observed Changmi warily, not sure if it was just an act. He found only sincerity in her eyes and tentatively let pity for Changmi into his heart. The poor girl was literally in an insane asylum and her only visitor was his fiancé. He could sympathize with that. “She loves you, you know,’ he said. Changmi probably already knew since Yunseo was pretty much her whole world in this disgusting place but it never hurt to hear it confirmed. Hojoon vehemently hated insane asylums; he thought most of them were inhumane. 

“I know,” Changmi smiled slightly. “She loves you as well.”

“Just because she loves me too, doesn’t mean that she loves you any less,” Hojoon said. This was the most emotional he would ever get so he hoped Changmi completely understood his message. 

Changmi nodded, tears coming to her eyes. It meant a lot to hear those words from Hojoon and they implied that Hojoon wouldn’t try to get between them. “Maybe we can be friends?” she offered. It would be nice if she had someone other than Yunseo and Bom, who was paid to take care of her. 

“I would like that,” Hojoon confirmed. They shook hands on it and smiled at each other, the grins actually reaching their eyes.

Changmi wanted Yunseo to be happy in every way and Hojoon gave her that. As much as Changmi didn’t want to admit it, Hojoon might be the perfect one for Yunseo in this life. Yunseo deserved the very best and if that involved Hojoon, then Changmi approved. She could see how much her disproval of Hojoon would hurt Yunseo so she fully condoned their wedding. In the back of her mind, she made plans to castrate Hojoon if he ever hurt Yunseo but that’s another story for another day entirely. 

Yunseo finally entered Changmi’s room, looking distinctly angered. She tried to smile through it but Yunseo could never fool Changmi. “What are you two talking about?” she asked lightly, walking over to them.

“You,” they answered at the same time. Yunseo halted; Changmi and Hojoon had two very similar smirks on their faces that were worrying her. 

“Well that’s not disturbing at all,” she joked. 

“Don’t you worry,” Changmi assured. “It has absolutely nothing to do with your demise or anything.”

“Shh Changmi! We weren’t supposed to tell her,” Hojoon scolded, instantly catching on. 

Yunseo rolled her eyes and went to grab Go, the game that started it all, from the nightstand. “Do you two want to play a game?” Changmi and Hojoon looked at each other and shrugged, laughing when Yunseo pulled out Go. The afternoon was spent laughing at each other’s stories as Yunseo and Changmi swept the floor with Hojoon. Changmi told Hojoon every embarrassing story she knew about Yunseo and her best friend replied in kind as revenge. When Changmi looked at the clock again, it was 6:30, raining, and time for Yunseo and Hojoon to go. Hojoon said goodbye with a squeeze of Changmi’s hand, promising to come visit again, even if it was after work. 

While Hojoon brought the car around, Changmi took advantage of the privacy. She turned to Yunseo and finally asked her what had made her so upset earlier. Yunseo sighed, her demeanor changing, and she answered reluctantly. 

“You don’t have the clearance to leave the grounds,” Yunseo told Changmi with a dead look in her eyes and a dull tone in her voice. 

“Don’t have the clearance?” Changmi repeated, unbelieving. “But I’ve been so good recently, I haven’t had a relapse since….” Changmi trailed off as she remembered her breakdown three days after Yunseo had told her about the news initially. 

“Yeah,” Yunseo said, noting her friend’s expression. She was pretty dejected about it herself but she forced a smile unto her face, determined to be optimistic. “But I’m sure we’ll figure something out! Don’t worry, Changmi, we just need to look into some alternative options, that’s all.”

That was when she realized. Changmi realized the lesson she was supposed to learn. She had to see how much she was hurting Yunseo on her path of destruction. As she explored the ideas and looked back on her lives, Changmi found that her soul had deteriorated as each life went by, dragging Yunseo along with her. Of course, Yunseo wasn’t perfect either, but it was Changmi who let hate and resentment consume her until her soul was bogged down by the negative emotions. Changmi gave a weak response when Yunseo said goodbye but her mind was focused on her revelation. 

This was all her fault. It hit Changmi full force; she had caused all of this pain and sadness. Before she left herself be swallowed by the guilt, Changmi reminded herself that it would be starting the cycle all over again. She rubbed the earing still in her cartilage and watched Yunseo run out to Hojoon in the rain, smiling. Nope, Changmi thought, she would not be consumed by her hatred anymore. This was a new start, a new beginning and Changmi was determined to make it count. Yunseo was happy with Hojoon so Changmi promised herself that she would try. She would try for Yunseo. And eventually, she would be the best godmother ever. The HershY kids would be constantly spoiled and showered with love and candy, Changmi vowed, a conspiring smirk on her face as she began to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For historical accuracy, Yunseo's name would be Mackenzie, Changmi's Carah, Bom's Amy, Hojoon's Mike, and Hyoyeon's Brandy. 
> 
> So I couldn't resist putting Hojoon in here. I seriously think the 2Ho ship might be as real as HoMin. I would totally support it if those two cuddly adorable kittens decided to date.
> 
> Please review! Reviews feed the dragon.


	9. Chapter 9

Life 9

South Korea 2014

“Sexy, boys, now try to turn it up a notch,” the photographer demanded of his two current subjects, Yunho and Changmin. The two were in one of the most popular boy bands in South Korea (and Asia), Dong Bang Shin Ki, and they were currently shooting for a photo book which would be included in their most recent album. It would be their last album before Yunho enlisted in his mandatory military service. Their concept this time around was to push the boundaries of society and be a little sexier than was accepted. Presently, Yunho was in nothing but a pair of jeans and Changmin was dressed only in a pair of boxers and a loose dress shirt that was mostly obviously intended to be Yunho’s, since Yunho was the bulkier of the two. Their management assured them that this was the best way to keep their fans’ attention but Yunho and Changmin weren’t sure it was the best idea; not because they were squirmy with innuendoes and casual physical contact but because they weren’t sure they could resist each other in such intimate situations. Changmin was also a jealous bastard and he wasn’t comfortable with everyone else seeing Yunho blush and all the other things the management wanted him to do in public; those things were supposed to be for Changmin’s eyes only. 

“Good, good Changmin! I like how aggressive you’re being,” the photographer continued as the taller man grabbed Yunho by the belt, suggestively pulling his hips forward. 

Yunho grinned up at Changmin. “If only he knew how aggressive you can be,” he whispered, low enough that the sound only reached Changmin’s ears. Changmin blushed but smirked back, making for a ludicrous combination than had the staff members cooing and fawning. 

“It’s like you guys do this every day!” The photographer, Wonbae, gushed, never having had a couple with such chemistry before. Their acting appeared to come so naturally and he couldn’t wait to work with them again.

Yunho and Changmin locked eyes and smirked, knowing full well that yes, they did in fact do this every day. The boys switched positions so that Changmin was kneeling in front of Yunho but leaning back on his heals so it didn’t look “too sexual,” according to their photographer. Yunho thought it looked plenty sexual already and had to think of dead baby ducks and naked grandmas just to get through the shoot. Changmin grinned up at him, knowing what Yunho was imagining, and licked his lips. Cruel bastard, Yunho thought, and grabbed Changmin by the jaw, forcing him to look him in the eyes. 

“Yes, yes, Yunho. I love it!” The photographer’s words faded into the distance as the boys lost themselves in each other, but always keeping their bodies angled just right to catch the light. They were professionals after all. 

“Haven’t you taken enough pictures?” Their manager, Kyungchang, whined. Yunho and Changmin had an incredibly packed schedule since this was the last the public would be seeing Yunho for twenty-one months and everyone was ready to go home. 

The photographer and all the stylists turned to glare simultaneously at the poor manager. “This is art, sir, and art is never rushed,” Wonbae stated. 

“Well, your art is made up of Dong Bang Shin Ki and these boys have an early shoot tomorrow. We have to get them home so they don’t collapse tomorrow.” ‘It’s bad press,’ the weary manager added under his breath. 

Wonbae sighed and snapped off a few more pictures but excused the boys to go. “You guys did a wonderful job today. Call me up if you ever need a modeling job.” He handed them his card, winking before the boys were led away to change. 

Yunho chuckled as he helped Changmin unbutton his shirt in the dressing room. “You’d think they were our stalkers,” he joked, “this is almost exactly what you wear on our days off.”  
“Except then my shirts actually smell like you,” Changmin replied, pouting slightly. 

“That’s because they’re my shirts,” Yunho corrected. Not that he minded, not even a little bit – Changmin wearing Yunho’s shirts was pretty much heaven on Earth. 

“Whatever,” Changmin answered. He moved down to his knees to help Yunho tug off his jeans. The stylists might as well have painted them on for how tight and reveling they were. 

“I think I like you in this position,” Yunho said, cupping Changmin’s cheek down from his spot on the ground. 

Changmin just rolled his eyes and finally managed to release Yunho’s legs from their denim prison. Yunho winked down at him but helped Changmin stand. When they were fully dressed, they made to leave, thoroughly exhausted. 

Changmin and Yunho waved their goodbye’s to their photographer and all the staff and followed Kyungchang to the waiting car. Although their schedules were normally even busier, the photo-shoot had gone later than they had expected and they couldn’t wait to go home and sleep. Without words, Kyungchang knew to give them their space and sat up front with the driver. The second the car door was closed, Yunho collapsed against Changmin and promptly began to snore against his shoulder, his mouth slightly open. Changmin smiled softly down at his lover, affection glowing warm in his heart. Since he couldn’t fall asleep and cuddle too until they got home, he thought about their current predicament.

South Korea was making steps to a new, more accepting future, but for now, the country was still pretty homophobic. Changmin and Yunho had lived together as long as they could without garnering much attention, as they were in the same group and it was common that groups live together. They had lived together longer than was usual for the senior groups but their charisma demanded that no one question them about it. Eventually, though, people got suspicious and they had to rent separate apartments for appearance sake. Even worse though, Changmin couldn’t hold Yunho’s hand in public or kiss him goodbye, and this killed Changmin. He wanted to scream to the world that Yunho had chosen him; that this beautiful, strong, caring man had chosen him to be with him forever and Changmin wanted to mark him for all others to see. He thanked the universe every day for the chance to be with Yunho and worship as his own, but he wished fervently that they could go public with their relationship. For now, though, he just had to focus on not accidently exposing their relationship. 

Time went on, as it always does. They wrapped up all the preparations for their comeback and were rewarded with a rapid album release and return stage; they really did not have very much time, after all. Yunho’s enlistment date was approaching faster than anyone wanted to acknowledge. The first few weeks went by without a hitch. All the fans were in a frenzy over the new sexy concept and their album did better than TVXQ had done in Korea in a while. As they were nearing the very end of their promotions, though, they got a text to report in to the SM headquarters to go over the plan for the next couple years again. It was completely normal, just SM covering their bases, so neither Yunho nor Changmin expected the news they received. 

They strode into the conference room that had been designated in the text. Their manager and a couple of their public relations people were there already, talking quietly. Changmin and Yunho greeted everyone politely and sat down for what they thought would be another boring, repetitive meeting. Yunho smiled brightly at everyone despite it all while Changmin smirked at the current line-up and went over all of their names in his head. There was the short woman who insisted on wearing purple colored contacts, Fairy, the half-Japanese man who wore more eye-liner than Lee Joon in Cry, Bishi, the gentle giant who carried Yunho on his back one time who Changmin hated, Sly Guy, the woman who never seemed to approve of anything they did, Ivy Bitch, and Kyungchang, of course. Changmin didn’t really care for any of them other than Kyungchang so he let Yunho take care of their actual names. 

“So you guys already know the plan for Yunho’s enlistment,” Fairy started.

“I still don’t see why we can’t just enlist at the same time,” Changmin grumbled.

“We already talked about this,” Ivy Bitch sighed dramatically. “You can enlist a year after Yunho does; we can’t have both of you out of the public eye for that long.” Changmin knew that was true if they wanted to keep the TVXQ name alive but that didn’t mean he had to like it. 

“Anyway,” Fairy continued in an annoyed tone, “Yunho will record a couple of songs and features to be released at regular intervals while he’s gone and Changmin will continue to have solo promotions, features and variety shows, since you refuse to debut as a solo.” And another pointed look at Changmin. 

The man in question just shrugged; there was no way he was going to promote without Yunho. A solo song here and there was fine but TVXQ was Changmin and Yunho, not just one or the other. He could wait. 

“After nine months or so-”

“Nine months,” Changmin clarified with a glare at the staff. He would enlist without their approval if they tried to make him wait until just before Yunho got back. 

“After nine months,” Fairy continued, “Changmin will enlist and during the year that overlaps your service, we’ll release never-before-seen behind-the-scenes footage once a week.”

“Do we have that much?” Yunho asked, a confused frown on his face. Changmin smirked at Yunho’s utter cuteness that the leader would never admit to. 

“We have more than ten years of footage of behind the scenes of you two, we have enough,” Bishi said. Yunho’s mouth made an “O” shape but he didn’t respond. 

“And then Yunho will have his solo promotions, perhaps a dance unit and features and such, until Changmin is discharged.” Fairy was really starting to get tired of all the interruptions. 

“We knew all of this already,” Changmin pointed out, “so is there a new proposal or something?” All five of the personnel present shared a look, which only served to make Changmin slightly nervous. 

“Well, we were thinking that even the solo promotions might not be enough to keep the public interested when you’re not together,” Sly Guy started. 

“So we thought a scandal might be necessary to keep people talking,” Bishi continued. 

“But nothing that would actually be too bad press,” Kyungchang added.

“So one of you has to have a dating scandal with someone big while the other is in the service,” Ivy Bitch finished. Changmin and Yunho took a second to let the statement settle then Yunho exploded. 

“WHAT?! Why the hell can’t we just like hang out with our American connections or wear the same clothes as another idol or something like that? Something netizens care about that doesn’t involve dating?” Yunho looked absolutely furious, a look they all hadn’t seen on him since before The Split. “We’re TVXQ, goddamnit, we shouldn’t have to whore ourselves out to get attention and further more-”

“I’ll do it,” Changmin said quietly. Yunho snapped his head to Changmin’s direction. He had never expected Changmin to agree to this, no less agree without discussing it with him first. 

“You’ll what?!” Yunho practically shrieked. 

“I’ll do it,” Changmin repeated, looking at Kyungchang determinedly. Changmin couldn’t explain it but his heart ached at the mere thought of Yunho fake-dating anyone. He knew Yunho would never betray him but Yunho had so much more experience than him. What if Yunho decided a more mature person would be better? Or that Changmin was too nagging or too clean or too tall? And who could resist Yunho? The man was practically perfection in that even his faults were endearing. Nope, there was no way in hell Changmin was going to give anyone else the chance to take his Yunho away from him. The look on Yunho’s face made Changmin flinch but he could fix that later.

Bishi blinked rapidly, a little surprised that Changmin had acquiesced so quickly. Though, from Yunho’s current expression, it appeared the maknae would be spending the night exiled to the couch. “Okay, well you can pick any girl you’d like- well, don’t choose someone in SM. A girl from YG would have been perfectly scandalous if we could make it swing but they weren’t interested.”

“You already sent out feelers?” Yunho asked, incredulous. 

“Of course,” Ivy Bitch replied with a stern glance at Yunho. Changmin promptly glared Ivy Bitch down; no one was allowed to be mean to Yunho but him. “TS, DSP, and Pledis are all looking forward to you picking one of their girls.”

“You don’t actually have to date them, Changmin, you just have to go on a couple dates in very public places and kiss her in front of a bunch of cameras. We’ll deny everything of course, for a while, but we’ll tell everyone that you guys broke up right before your enlistment,” Kyungchang reassured. 

“They have to kiss?” Yunho asked. This just kept getting worse and worse and Changmin just kept sitting there looking absolutely composed. 

“Of course,” Kyungchang replied with a roll of his eyes. “Do you have anyone in mind, Changmin?”

Hmm…. Changmin thought, TS, DSP, and Pledis had Secret, KARA, Rainbow, Kahi, and After School for him to choose from. The members of Hello Venus were too young and cute for him. 

“Sunhwa’s out,” Yunho said, daring Changmin to say otherwise. That girl wanted Changmin’s D and everyone knew it. 

“What about Jaekyung?” Changmin asked. “We broadcast together quite a bit, so it would be believable.”

“Jaekyung would be perfect,” Sly Guy said with a small smile. “Rainbow’s always looking for more popularity. We’ll give them a call to let them know tonight and if everything goes well, we’ll call you back in, Changmin, to go over details.”

“Yunho, you can go home now, we just need to talk with Changmin a bit,” Ivy Bitch said. Changmin just could not believe the gall of this woman but Yunho rigidly stood up and marched out of the room, desperately trying not to betray his fury again. 

“I’ll walk you out, Yunho,” Sly Guy said. He ran forward to open the door for Yunho and rested a hand on the small of his back, guiding the man out of the room. Changmin fumed at the sight but a quick look at Kyungchang told him not to follow. Changmin was pretty sure Sly Guy was trying to get into Yunho’s pants and the older man was just too naïve to see it. Damn it! Yunho was an emotional wreck right now, what if Sly Guy tried to pull something?

“I’m actually pretty exhausted, can we do this later?” Changmin asked, faking a yawn. It was a question but his hands were literally twitching to go after Yunho, so he didn’t think he could actually handle a refusal. 

“Just go,” Fairy said with a shake of her head. As Changmin dashed from the room, she giggled as she thought about how Changmin was going to get Yunho to forgive him. The purple contacts’ purpose was to hide the perverted look in her eyes whenever she looked at the couple. No one at SM could know she was a former HoMin fanfic writer who had infiltrated the company to stalk her yaoi fantasies. Her life was so damn good. 

As Fairy debated various begging scenarios, Changmin caught up to Yunho, who had just been delivered to the car by Sly Guy. Changmin narrowed his eyes at the casual way that Yunho touched Sly Guy as he thanked him but quickly hurried up to jump in the car with Yunho. If he happened to slam into Sly Guy’s shoulder on the way, well, shit happened. Changmin slid across the seat, an apology ready on his tongue, but Yunho wasn’t even looking at him and the ride home was spent in an awkward, tension-filled silence. 

Yunho kept his lips pressed firmly together until they entered their first apartment, then he turned on Changmin with a fury worse than that of a thousand scorned women. “What the hell, Changmin? The fuck were you thinking?”

Changmin flinched at the cuss words since Yunho only ever swore when he was beyond pissed but fuck it all if he was going to take being yelled at lying down. “One of us has to do it, Yunho.”

“And you just jumped at the chance, didn’t you?” Yunho spat. 

“I did not jump. Jaekyung is a nice girl.”

“Oh, so you do want to date her? Do you like her, Changmin? Do you like the way she practically bends over backwards for you? Do you want to bend her over?” Yunho was always more vulgar when he was angry. Yunho had his own insecurities that Changmin had forgotten in his own jealousy. Yunho knew he was forgetful, he knew his chest was too big, his face was too small, he couldn’t sing very well, he couldn’t have Changmin’s kids, he had scars. Of course, he thought, Changmin would want Jaekyung. The girl was practically perfect; she tried her hardest in everything she did, she was multi-talented, and she was beautiful both inside and out. On top of everything else that made her better than Yunho, Jaekyung could cook and draw, two things Yunho was incredibly lacking in. Changmin didn’t see things this way, of course, but Yunho excelled at being incredibly self-critical.

“No! But it has to be done, so I’m taking responsibility,” Changmin tried to explain. 

“Responsibility?” Yunho scoffed. “Is that what they’re calling it nowadays?”

“That’s not what I meant and you fucking know it,” Changmin replied with clenched teeth. He was beginning to lose his temper too and anger has a tendency to expose insecurities. “Why are you so upset about this? Did you have someone you wanted to try out?” 

“Why am I upset? Really? Because my boyfriend appears to be completely fine dating someone else, that’s why!” 

“Oh wait. You’ve already slept with everyone else so there’s really no point,” Changmin continued, not hearing Yunho’s words.

Yunho stopped moving, tension halting all his muscles. “What are you trying to say, Changmin?”

“You’ve practically slept with half of Seoul, you slut!” 

And sometimes, anger can make you say things you don’t mean. 

All the wrath left Yunho then, replaced by hurt. He had been called a lot of things by a lot of people but he had never imagined that Changmin would use that word against him. Changmin knew how he felt about that word. 

Jaejoong had always called Yunho that. 

Changmin watched, helpless to retract his words, as Yunho sprinted to their joint bedroom and locked the door behind him. He could faintly hear the little crying sounds that Yunho made when he was trying to fight his tears through the mahogany. Shit, shit, shit, he thought, I didn’t mean to say that! Yunho always said that the most hurtful weapons are words and Changmin had just wielded them against the most important person in his life. 

“Yunho? Hyung? Can you please let me in?” He knocked on the door gently. “Come on, baby, I didn’t mean that. You know I didn’t mean that. Yunho?” Still no response and Changmin continued to hit the door, with more force in each strike. “Don’t cry, hyung, please don’t cry. You know how I get with my temper sometimes. Yunho? Just let me in, we can talk about this.” 

The door unlocked and opened slightly, just enough so that Yunho could peak through it. Changmin looked at that gorgeous face, stained with tears, and hated himself for causing his lover pain. His anger was just so overwhelming sometimes, but he really tried to fight it for Yunho. 

“You can’t call me that. Never that, not you,” Yunho whispered. 

“I know, hyung; it’ll never happen again. I swear to food, it’ll never happen again.”

“Oh no, not on food. How would you live?” Yunho rolled his eyes at Changmin but found only sincerity and guilt in Changmin’s eyes. Yunho turned around and curled back up on the bed, back facing Changmin, in a silent command for the younger man to join him. Yunho felt the bed shift as another body added weight to it and seconds later, he was back in his favorite place in the world; wrapped in Changmin’s arms. Yunho’s heart still hurt but he knew Changmin had some anger management issues that they tried to work through together. 

“You’re the only one I want to be with, you know,” Changmin whispered in his ear. 

“Then why did you agree to date her without even talking to me about it?” Yunho replied, clutching the blanket to his chest.

“Fake dating,” Changmin corrected. Yunho just snorted; he wasn’t going to argue semantics. A moment or two later, Changmin finally admitted quietly, “I didn’t want you to agree first.”

“Why?” Yunho asked, not understanding why it would matter since it was a fake relationship to begin with. 

“I just don’t want to lose you.” Again, a voice in the back of his head added but Changmin ignored it, not understanding the meaning. 

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Changminnie.” Yunho threw his elbow back into his lover’s side, earning an irritated grunt.

“It’s not you I’m worried about,” Changmin explained. “It would be whoever you dated. I mean, how are they supposed to resist you?”

“It’s been done,” Yunho chuckled.

“I sure couldn’t,” Changmin said, nipping at Yunho’s earlobe playfully. The shorter man laughed and flipped over onto his back so he could pull Changmin to his chest. Changmin promptly snuggled into that glorious chest, inhaling Yunho’s unique scent, and felt himself lulling to sleep. 

“Oh no you don’t; we have to get ready for bed first,” Yunho scolded. He was promptly rewarded with the sound of Changmin snoring. Really? Changmin’s ability to sleep on command astonished and frustrated him sometimes. Yunho carefully scooted Changmin to the side so the taller man wouldn’t wake up when Yunho left the bed.

Yunho moaned as he got up, rolling knotted muscles and absently thinking he would have to coerce Changmin into giving him a massage in the morning. But for now, Yunho changed into his pajamas and stripped Changmin of enough clothes to be comfortable sleeping in and then joined him in bed. When Yunho laid back down, Changmin recognized Yunho’s scent in his sleep and crept closer to Yunho again. Changmin then wrapped his arms around Yunho, pulling him towards him and contorting their bodies around each other. The shorter man giggled; Changmin really did sleep like a koala bear. But he secretly loved it. 

A couple weeks later, Changmin and Yunho were called into another meeting. Yunho dragged his feet as he went, dreading this particular conference. He actually quite liked Jaekyung but he really did not like anyone hanging all over Changmin. 

Bishi, Fairy, Ivy Bitch, and Sly Guy greeted them and Bishi wasted no time jumping into the issue. “Well, it turns out that Jaekyung is already dating someone and DSP was only offering the other members of Rainbow and KARA.”

Before Yunho could hope that they had scrapped the whole dating idea, Ivy Bitch continued. “So we reached out to TS and Sunhwa has agreed to be a part of the plan. It was decided that this would work better anyway because of the past comments she has made about you, Changmin.”

“What?” Changmin asked, shell-shocked. Oh, Yunho was not going to like this at all. 

“I thought I said that Sunhwa was out,” Yunho gritted out through clenched teeth, resisting the urge to tear the Ivy Bitch to tiny little pieces. 

“Your opinion doesn’t matter here, Yunho. Oh, and we’re also moving up the date of your enlistment. Your promotions end this week so there’s no need to delay the inevitable. You have three weeks left.”

“What?” Changmin asked, incredibly angry now. How dare they take away some of their precious remaining time together? Changmin had plans! He had tickets, goddamnit!

“She has a point, Changmin,” Sly Guy said. “The faster Yunho leaves, the faster he can come back.”

“But-” Changmin started, enraged. What would he do with his tickets to Milan? 

“It’s okay, Changdola. What’s done is done,” Yunho interrupted him, looking down at his hands in his lap. Changmin clamped his mouth shut, knowing he should be more concerned about Yunho then his damn plane tickets. He couldn’t calm down completely, though, and he briskly walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. 

Sly Guy sighed deeply and clamped Yunho on the shoulder as he too left. “Make sure he’s ready for his date with Sunhwa. Here’s her number.” Sly Guy handed Yunho a small piece of paper with all of Sunhwa’s contact information on it. Yunho looked down at it, desperately wishing he could tear the thing to shreds but knowing he couldn’t. The leader might appear calm on the outside but on the inside, he was slowly dying. Why did these things always happen to them? It just seemed like one thing after another. 

As Yunho stood up to go after Changmin, Bishi surprised him by pulling him into a hug. “It’s going to be okay,” Bishi whispered into his ear and it wasn’t creepy or weird. It was exactly what Yunho needed to hear but it didn’t help as much as he wanted it to. 

“You’re prettier than Sunhwa anyway,” Fairy added, making Yunho laugh. That was true. He smiled at the two trying to cheer him up and left the room so they could deal with the storm at home. 

That night, Changmin held Yunho in his arms, trying to comfort him. Yunho wasn’t crying but he was hurting silently, which can be far, far worse. Changmin ran his fingertips up and down Yunho’s arms and tried to think of words that would stop this pain.

“Don’t worry, love, this is just a rough patch. We’ll get through it just like we always do.”

“I know. It’s just hard.” Yunho sighed deeply. “Tell me about the bunnies, Changmin,” Yunho begged, needing an assurance of their future together. Yunho was always such a strong leader, smiling at everyone and never breaking down. It was only around Changmin that he let the wall fall down. 

Changmin chuckled at his expression but fulfilled his lover’s request. “Ten years from now, after Dong Bang Shin Ki is over, you and I are going to move out to the countryside so we can be together without it being a national scandal. We’ll have a farm so I can ogle at you driving a tractor around with no shirt on.” Yunho giggled here, but it was a scene that Changmi definitely needed to witness before he died. “We’ll make homemade strawberry jam and jar kimchi.” Strawberries were Yunho’s favorite. 

“And you’ll teach me how to cook so you don’t always have to be in the kitchen,” Yunho chimed in. 

“I thought you liked me in the kitchen,” Changmin teased, thinking of Yunho’s reaction whenever he wore his apron. 

“I do,” Yunho nipped at Changmin’s ear, “but I really should be able to make something other than ramen.”

Changmin hummed in agreement and continued his tale. “We’ll start off with some bunnies to make sure we can take care of something other than ourselves.”

“Can we have a lot of fluffy bunnies, Changmin?” Yunho asked, needing to hear it straight from his partner. The man could still be a child, but Changmin knew a lot of it was because he never had a real childhood. Being homeless and training constantly tended to destroy what little youth people had left. 

“Yes, we can have a bunch of furry monstrosities,” Changmin said, shaking his head but the smile on Yunho’s face was enough to make him ignore the immaturity. Yunho giggled with pure glee at the thought of his bunnies. “If you don’t accidently kill the poor things, we can get a dog or two to help with the cattle.”

“You’re not going to help with the bunnies?” Yunho pouted up at Changmin. The taller of the two looked down at his lover’s face and knew deep in his soul that he would help Yunho do anything, anything at all, but Yunho didn’t need to know the absolute influence he held over Changmin. 

“Nope, you want them, you take care of them,” Changmin replied, growing nervous at the evil smirk on Yunho’s face as he thought of the numerous ways he could persuade Changmin into helping. 

“Okay,” Yunho agreed, a little too easily. “You’ll be busy anyway, teaching at the closest college with your smart-aleck brain.”

“And you’ll be a part of the police force,” Changmin replied. This story was a common occurrence in their house. 

“Hmm, the cop and the teacher. It sounds like a bad joke,” Yunho said, wrinkling his nose at the thought. 

“Or a good porn,” Changmin replied, blowing into Yunho’s ear. The shorter man giggled and shifted a little in Changmin’s arms but settled back down to hear more. “Where was I? Oh, yes, I’ll be a professor and you’ll be a police officer. We can go visit Seoul whenever we want, to visit all our old friends and go dancing if you want.” 

“But you don’t really like going dancing,” Yunho protested.

“I like watching you dance,” Changmin denied. He didn’t want to say that the reason he didn’t like going to clubs was because of all the people that openly stared at Yunho’s body. They had a reason to – his Yunho was a masterpiece on the dance floor – but that didn’t mean Changmin had to like it. Yunho pouted slightly but decided to leave the matter for a different time. “If Korea ever legalizes it, we’ll get married; both of us in tuxedoes and our parents will walk us down the aisle.”

“If they approve,” Yunho added sulkily. 

“I think they already know.” Changmin smiled as he thought of their families and how Yunho’s mother always winked at him whenever he went to stay with them over vacation. “We can go to as many hockey games as you want and we’ll watch the variety shows we always miss and it will all be terribly mundane and beautifully amazing.”

Yunho smirked at the end; their dream might sound boring to some people but it was how they wanted their retirement to go. They both enjoyed the stage and couldn’t picture retiring for a good long time but maybe in twenty years or so….

But this was all just a fantasy, a hope. Neither of them knew what tomorrow would bring and in their profession, there were no promises. Their history proved that enough. 

Soon enough, it came time for Sunhwa and Changmin’s first date. It always took the reporters a couple weeks to catch on and gather evidence so if they started just a week before Yunho’s enlistment, they hoped the scandal would break about a month and a half into Yunho’s service. They would then milk the scandal, denying it and then having more pictures taken, until Changmin enlisted. The plan for the day was to have Sunhwa come over to Changmin’s apartment so they could discuss their strategy and then they would leave for their day out.

Yunho picked out Changmin’s outfit for his first date with Sunhwa. Changmin just sat on their bed and observed as Yunho selected something classy but not too sexy. Yunho wanted Changmin to look nice but also keep Sunhwa from getting any ideas. Changmin obediently wore the clothes Yunho had selected and pecked him on the lips right as their doorbell rang. Yunho sighed and the two men moved to the kitchen/living room area by the entryway.

“Be nice, Yunho,” Changmin warned as he walked over to the door.

“Me?” Yunho asked with false innocence, “Whatever reason would I have to be mean to the greedy bitch?” 

Changmin sighed; why had he thought it would okay to have them meet again? “Just try to keep it in for the five minutes she’s here.”

“I don’t understand why she had to come here. This is our apartment,” Yunho moaned, leaning over the kitchen counter. He knew he sounded like a whiny bitch but he couldn’t stop himself and, really, he didn’t care. If Changmin was going to date someone else, the man deserved his full wrath.

Changmin just shot Yunho another warning glare and opened the door for the bane of his love life to walk through. 

Sunhwa entered the apartment, excited for their date. She knew their relationship was just a media play because TVXQ needed that little extra boost of media attention, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She had harbored a crush on Changmin for a long time now and thought that this was the perfect opportunity to show Changmin just how perfect she was. Then they could date for real and get married and have babies and he could buy her diamond-encrusted purses and life would be just as she had pictured it as a little girl. 

The only problem, in Sunhwa’s mind, was Yunho. That stupid man kept trying to get between her and Changmin and Sunhwa was starting to think he actually was in love with Changmin. Poor Yunho, she thought with no real sympathy, in love with a straight man. And, of course, he was here today in Changmin’s apartment. Sunhwa rolled her eyes, the man really needed to stop suffocating Changmin with his constant presence. 

“Will you give me a tour before we start, Changmin?” she asked brightly. Sunhwa reminded Yunho of high fructose corn syrup; she tasted like sugar but it was just all calculated sweetness.

“Yunho’s really better at that kind of stuff,” Changmin admitted. 

“But I want you to do it,” Sunhwa insisted, pouting. 

Yunho snorted from his position by the counter. His mind translated Sunhwa’s statement into “I want you to do me.” 

“Do you have a problem?” Sunhwa asked Yunho, all about false civility. 

“I have one more than you,” Yunho replied. Changmin wasn’t sure if he should be insulted because he was pretty sure Yunho had just referred to him as a problem. 

“I can take that problem off your hands if it’s too much for you to handle.” Oh great, now Sunhwa thought he was a problem too.

“I really don’t think you’re up to the job, dear,” Yunho replied.

“Are you going to let him talk to me like this?” Sunhwa demanded, looking at Changmin and pointing angrily at Yunho. 

“I think Yunho can talk however he wants,” Changmin responded.

“Even to your girlfriend?” Sunhwa was starting to look a little pink.

“Fake girlfriend,” Yunho corrected. 

“At least I am a girl!” Sunhwa retorted, hinting closer to home than Changmin or Yunho would like to admit. Changmin knew how badly Yunho wanted babies and it hurt him so bad that they couldn’t have their own. Changmin had told Yunho they could adopt but Yunho didn’t want their children being discriminated against since Korea was still so conservative in that manner. He said it would be okay just being uncles to their sisters’ and Super Junior’s children but the weak smile couldn’t hide the pain in Yunho’s eyes from Changmin. 

Changmin pulled Yunho in for a kiss, right then and there. He was tired of the way Sunhwa fawned over him anyway. Yunho was his man, always was, always will be, and Changmin had to make that plain and simple to the poor girl. 

Yunho tensed at first, not sure if they could trust this fickle girl with their secret, but he gradually began to respond to Changmin. Their kiss became heated, Changmin arching into Yunho, with the shorter man’s tongue exploring his mouth. Yunho smirked in his mind. That’s right, bitch, this man’s mine. Yunho was rather talented in the art of making Changmin breathless so he didn’t pull away until Changmin was mewling into his mouth. When Yunho finally drew back, Changmin was left panting, hair tussled from Yunho’s hand on his neck, and mouth redder than usual. 

This time Yunho’s smirk was physical as he looked over at Sunhwa, who looked like her world had just been shattered. Changmin coughed awkwardly and rubbed at the back of his neck, a nervous habit of his. Yunho cackled rather evilly, and walked to their bedroom. He was content that Sunhwa had been handled. 

“So….” Changmin said to Sunhwa, back in the kitchen, not sure what to say. The kiss had been his plan but Yunho’s intensity had surprised him.

“So, you’re fucking Yunho?” Sunhwa said bluntly. This was a girl used to getting what she wants and Changmin had been what she wanted. Now that her prize had been taken from her, Sunhwa’s true nature peeked out to say hello. 

“And he’s fucking me,” Changmin replied, feeling the hostility rolling off Sunhwa in waves and responding with his own animosity.

“Well that’s just great!” Sunhwa said, throwing her arms up into the arm. “So you were just using me!”

“I thought that was established from the beginning.” Sunhwa simply gaped at him. “I needed someone to help keep TVXQ in the public eye and you needed to get some fame. Win-win.”  
“I don’t need fame this bad,” Sunhwa replied, her pride injured. 

“Yes, you do,” Changmin said. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have agreed to this in the first place.” Sunhwa glared at him, unwilling to admit that there had been a deeper, although still shallow, reason for her compliance. “And you’re going to continue to date me.” Changmin wasn’t pulling any punches; he had a darker, more intimidating, side to him and Changmin never hesitated to use it for Yunho’s cause. 

“What makes you so sure?” Sunhwa demanded. She was beyond furious and yet Changmin looked so fine giving commands like the leader of an army or something. 

“You still need the fame. I still need you for the media exposure.” Changmin’s cold eyes bore into Sunhwa’s mind.

Sunhwa rolled her eyes but knew Changmin was right. The media play was still a good plan and beneficial for everyone; she just wasn’t going to get to meet her future husband out of the deal. Actually, Sunhwa thought, their label-mate, Siwon, was pretty damn rich too and he was a rather fine specimen in the looks department. She could use this as an opportunity to get closer to Siwon and make the arrangement work in her favor, after all. 

“Fine,” she conceded finally. “We can still date but on the condition that you and Yunho never kiss in front of me again. Makes me want to join you.” Sunhwa almost laughed at Changmin’s expression of horror. Yep, she thought, this one’s definitely gay. 

“Agreed,” Changmin said, trying not to picture that scenario. He would have nightmares for weeks. 

“So are we going on a date today or not?” Sunhwa asked. She was calmer now that she had refocused her mind on Siwon.

“I think we should save it for another day,” Changmin replied, showing her to the door. After promising to text her, he strode into their den, knowing Yunho would be there. 

“How’d it go?” Yunho asked. He put a bookmark in his crime novel and took off his reading glasses that Changmin loved so much. 

“She offered us a threesome,” Changmin replied. He stuck his tongue out and made a gagging noise. Yunho giggled and then thought about it for a minute. 

“Nah,” he said, “she’s not really my type.”

“I can’t imagine going to bed with anyone but you,” Changmin said, shyly. He leaned forward and brushed a kiss against Yunho’s nose. 

Yunho’s breath caught in his throat and he was reminded again how inexperienced Changmin was. Yunho had been his first, and he was sure as hell going to be Changmin’s last. “Good,” he said and pulled Changmin forward for a proper kiss. This time, Yunho took mercy and pulled away before they could get too carried away. “You should probably leave for your date.”

Changmin shook his head. “I sent her home.” Yunho’s grin was bright enough to rival the sun. Changmin coyly returned it with one of his one. “So we have the entire afternoon to ourselves.” He pulled Yunho up by the hands, starting to walk backwards towards the bedroom. Yunho stood up and had no choice but to follow Changmin. 

“The entire afternoon? What ever shall we do?” Yunho threw his head back, faking exasperation. Changmin nibbled a little at Yunho’s jaw, reminding Yunho that while Changmin may not have very much experience with lovers, he had an abundance of knowledge on Yunho.

“I have a couple of ideas.” 

And the rest of the afternoon was spent in a symphony of moans and giggles. 

Their relationship wasn’t perfect, nowhere close, but they tried. Yunho and Changmin both put one hundred percent effort into making “them” work every day. Some days it wasn’t enough and Yunho would go storming out of the house, leaving Changmin to fume around, breaking everything in sight. Some days were just okay, where they were exhausted mentally and physically and just had no need to talk to each other. But other days, those were the ones worth living for. They were the days when they would feed each other from their own plates, days when Yunho would dance for Changmin and Changmin would sing for him, days where the most mundane things were filled with such utter love they knew they were made for each other. These days made it all worth it. And Changmin just knew that if they kept trying, more and more, then they would be okay in the end, together. 

Yunho’s enlistment date came sooner than either man was prepared for. Yunho looked so masculine and gorgeous in his new uniform that they ended up having a quickie before Changmin kissed his military man goodbye. He was already counting down until they could be together again. Nine months until he could enlist then another twenty-one while Changmin was in the service. Thirty months total until they could be together. Thirty months until the Rising Gods of the East would reunite and take back the hearts of Korea and each other. It would be difficult, Changmin thought, but then, their relationship had never been easy. Together, they were up for the challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist: Jaekyung is dating me! No, for real though, I have the hugest girl crush on this woman and adore her and wish she could be a little less perfect so the rest of us meer mortals would feel less inadequate.
> 
> Also, one day, I shall be Fairy. It's in the plans, I'm working on it right now. 
> 
> And, yes, that was a reference to Of Mice and Men. Just because I adore that book and I fucking love bunnies. Seriously though, I almost captured one the other day to try and tame it but then I remembered that bunnies can die of fear and decided that would be a bad idea. 
> 
> Would you like to see that as TVXQ's new concept? What did y'all think of my plan for TVXQ's enlistment? I'm actually quite fond of it. What did you think of the chapter in general? I love hearing what you guys have to say so don't be shy :)


	10. Chapter 10

Last Life

Minnesota 2347

~

“Energy is neither consumed nor created; it simply changes form.”

~

Changmi and Yunho met the old fashioned way. In a day and age of internet dating and microchip-driven devices, they met the same way married couples have always met and will always continue to meet, despite the technological progress made by society. They saw each other across a crowded room, their eyes met, and they knew that they had just seen someone special, someone worth knowing.

Changmi was an Airman in the United States Air Force during World War IV and Yunho was a Korean American who had moved to South Korea before the war began. Since South Korean and America were still strong allies, Changmi had been stationed in South Korea and that’s how she saw Yunho for the first time. 

Some other airmen had convinced her to go dancing in the Hongdae area and she had reluctantly changed into clubbing gear but spent the night camped out in a booth. From her perch, Changmi had a perfect view of the dance floor where one man, and one man alone, held reign. She found herself watching him the entire time, the fluidity of his body and the gracefulness of his moves enchanted her. Changmi felt her breath suspend when this man’s eyes connected with her own. There was familiarity in his gaze, and a promise of something more. It was absolutely captivating. All too soon, the man broke their connection with a spin.

“He’s good, isn’t he?” One of her friends, Hara, asked as she slide into the seat next to Changmi.

“Good is somewhat of an understatement,” Changmi replied, sipping her soju and never taking her eyes off the man. 

“What is this? Did we find someone that interests you?” Hara teased. Changmi was no prude but she definitely had high standards, higher than Hara’s at least.

“Maybe,” Changmi answered, smirking around the glass. 

“So go get him,” Hara exclaimed, pushing Changmi out of the other side of the booth. 

“I think I just might,” Changmi said. She downed another shot; it wasn’t often that she approached a guy first and this man was definitely a better dancer than she. But she summoned up her wall of courage and confidently strode over to him. No one had been dancing with the man, just around him. They all knew that he was more skilled in dancing than anyone else in the club so they left him alone to rule. Changmi slipped right in between the space that had been left around him, surprising the man. 

“My name’s Changmi. What’s yours?” She introduced herself immediately in Korean; she would have been surprised as well if some stranger snuck up and her and started dancing with her.   
The man looked her up and down, judging her outfit and her appearance. When his eyes finally settled on hers, that same feeling washed over both of them. The man seemed to nod to himself, perhaps finding what he was looking for, and replied “Yunho.” He began to dance again, casting a glamour around him with each move.

“Yunho,” Changmi repeated, running over the name in her head. It was a Korean name but that didn’t rule out the possibility of him having an English name too. Many Koreans had English names left over from their studies abroad and Changmi thought perhaps she knew him from somewhere, through a co-worker or an acquaintance or something. That would explain the casual familiarity that he exuded. But as hard as Changmi tried, she couldn’t think of a single Yunho that she had even heard mentioned at all. Yunho’s eyes were familiar, but his name was not. “This might sound crazy, but have we met before?”

“You do look familiar,” Yunho replied in English. Changmi’s first thought was ‘Yay, I’m not insane after all’ and then she realized that Yunho’s English was perfect, not accented at all. Maybe he was from the States? “But I don’t think I know a Changmi. Where are you from?”

“New Jersey,” Changmi responded instantly. “You?”

“I’m from Minnesota originally but my parents were both Korean,” Yunho answered. Hence the flawless English and the Korean name, Changmi added to herself. “I don’t think I’ve even been to the East Coast.”

“Oh,” Changmi said. She wasn’t sure what to say now. “But I know you somehow. I know I know you.” Changmi hoped Yunho didn’t think she was mental or anything. To her relief, Yunho nodded like he understood.

“I know, I feel like I’ve met you somewhere,” he said. 

“Maybe we just have one of those faces?” Changmi offered, shrugging. The situation would quickly get awkward if she harped on the strong sense of déjà vu so Changmi let it go. 

“Both of us?” Yunho replied, chuckling.

“Hey, you never know!” Changmi defended. This entire conversation had transpired in shouts over the music and Changmi’s throat was quickly tiring. “Do you want to get out of here?” Yunho raised an eyebrow at her, grinning slightly. “Not like that you pervert!” She cried, laughing, and hit him on the arm. “I meant so we can actually hear ourselves think!”

Yunho threw his arms up in defense. “You’re the one who brought it up, so technically you’re the pervert.”

“Whatever,” Changmi replied, turning to leave. “So you coming?” Yunho didn’t respond, just following her off the dance floor. Cat whistles and wolf calls surrounded them as they passed Hara and the rest of both of their friends. Yunho just winked and Changmi smirked, the pair thoroughly ignoring their friends. Changmi grabbed Yunho’s hand behind her and led him out of the club and into the street. It was January so it was absolutely freezing outside, giving Changmi the perfect excuse to cling to Yunho’s arm. Within minutes though, Changmi was shivering, Yunho’s warmth not enough to ward off the cold. 

“This was a stupid idea,” Changmi admitted, giggled. 

“You came up with it,” Yunho replied, snickering. He looked around for a store that was still open this late and spotted a coffee shop he had been to multiple times before. “You want to go in there?”

“Is it heated?” Changmi asked.

“Yes.”

“Then let’s go.” Yunho laughed while Changmi barreled towards the shop, dragging him along behind her. They sat themselves at a wooden table as far from a cold window as possible. “So what are you doing here?”

“Here?” Changmi repeated, not quite understanding. 

“Here. In Seoul. If you’re from New Jersey.” Yunho clarified. 

“Oh. I’m fighting in the war. United States Air Force,” Changmi explained. “Tonight is one of my few nights off.” Before Yunho could feel guilty, she turned the question on him. “What about you? What are you doing here?” 

“Since both my parents are from here,” Yunho said, “I decided to move to Seoul a couple years ago to meet my father’s side of the family. I thought that I would find something here.”  
“Did you find it?” Changmi asked, curious. 

“Not yet,” Yunho smiled. He still had hope in his eyes, like he hadn’t accepted defeat just yet and it made Changmi happy. She didn’t want to see this man give up; she couldn’t even picture Yunho with a cynical expression on his face, it wouldn’t suit him. 

“You dance really well,” Changmi complimented. 

“I know,” Yunho admitted. He chuckled at his own arrogance and Changmi was helpless to do anything but laugh back. “I didn’t mean it like that, I just have always loved dancing. It’s my escape from everything.”

“Have you ever tried doing it professionally?” Changmi asked. He was that good. 

“And be what? One of those idols from “the good old days?” I don’t think so. Now’s not the time for dancing and merriment.” Yunho laughed sadly, like he was reminiscent, before the mood changed, and he reminded Changmi of the war. 

“Perhaps now is the perfect time for dancing,” Changmi offered. “You could make a lot of people happy, make them forget.”

“Maybe,” Yunho agreed, smiling slightly. It was a thought that he had mulled over multiple times but never had the courage to actually do. 

“So what do you do?” Changmi asked, now that the matter had been brought up. 

“I’m a firefighter,” Yunho said. Changmi’s mind took a polluted turn as she imagined Yunho all shirtless and dirty, with ash smudged all over him. Holy crap, that picture was sexy as hell. She was interrupted from her fantasy world by Yunho asking another question. “What exactly do you do in the Air Force?” 

They ended up spending the entire night talking; the owner leaving around 3 A.M. and trusting them to lock up the shop when they left. The sun rose before Changmi even checked the clock once, and Yunho looked at her guiltily. 

“I didn’t mean to keep you up all night,” he admitted.

“No, it’s totally fine,” Changmi reassured and she really meant it. Meeting Yunho had been the best thing that had happened to her since she joined the Air Force. They walked outside the café, about to go their separate ways. It had started snowing overnight but neither recognized the cold, too caught up in each other. 

“Can I see you again?” Yunho asked the age-old question, hoping that she felt the same strong connection that he did. 

“I have another night off in two weeks,” Changmi offered. Being in the Air Force during war-time meant that she was lucky she even got those. 

“How would you feel about spending another one of your nights off with me?” Yunho asked, grabbing her hands to hold between his own. He definitely wanted to see her again but Changmi had other people in her life to attend to, probably. 

“I think that would be great,” Changmi admitted, looking down at his shoes. 

“Good!” Yunho exclaimed, extremely excited. “Have you been to the Han River yet?”

“No, I haven’t had much time to explore Seoul at all,” Changmi said. 

“Then the Han River it is,” Yunho agreed. He was already thinking of all the cheesy, romantic things they could do together. 

“Two weeks from today,” Changmi said. She wished time could pass faster so it was their second date. Date? ‘This was a date right?’ she thought. 

“From yesterday,” Yunho pointed out, gesturing to the rising sun. Changmi laughed but was reluctant to leave him. 

“I guess I should go now,” she said. She stepped away but didn’t release Yunho’s hands.

“I guess so,” Yunho agreed, also not letting her go. 

“I should really go,” Changmi repeated. She began to walk backwards but only succeeded in pulling Yunho along with her.

Yunho hummed in concurrence but kept walking with her. Eventually they both broke into giggles and when Changmi was just returning her breathing to normal, Yunho decided to mess it up again. He leaned in for their first kiss, cupping the back of Changmi’s head gently. Changmi was caught off guard but recovered quickly, responding passionately. It was a soft kiss, nothing too heated, but it was perfect. The snow fell around them and their cold noses brushed together in a sharp contrast to their warm lips. When Yunho pulled away, he pressed their foreheads together lightly, stroking Changmi’s hair. 

“Two weeks,” Yunho promised softly. He pressed a kiss to the tip of Changmi’s nose and pulled away, turning to walk away briskly. He felt that if he stayed any longer, he would be unable to leave her side. 

Changmi put a hand to her lips, trying to qualm the twinkling feeling. She had never been kissed like that before, so affectionately, so real. Shaking herself from her daze, Changmi skipped off to the base. Yes, she skipped and she hummed to herself the whole way. Changmi didn’t give a flying fuck who saw or judged her for it. Two weeks felt like an eternity but she was willing to wait if it meant she got to see him again. 

Well, Yunho made good on his promise; he took her to every possible dating location in Seoul, showing her off everywhere. Changmi loved every single minute of it and when they ran out of things to do in Seoul, they began to explore the countryside. Whenever Changmi had free time, she spent it on Yunho and after three years dating, it became clear to all of their friends and family that they were meant to be together. Yunho proposed to Changmi a week before she was discharged. She said yes. No one was surprised. At the engagement party, both Yunho and Changmi would claim that they just knew that they were meant to be together. Changmi’s mother protested, asking how one can truly ever know. The couple just looked at her with slight pity and shared a knowing glance. 

When Changmi was awarded honorable discharge from the Air Force, they moved to Minnesota together for their wedding and their first house. Changmi had hated New Jersey since she was old enough to know what hate was; it felt repressive and dark to her. Her mother always scolded her, saying that New Jersey was a fine place and there was no reason for Changmi to feel that way. But Changmi couldn’t help the way she shivered every time she passed the abandoned asylum in New Jersey any more than she could help how much she loved Yunho.   
“Are you sure this is okay?” Yunho asked the day they moved into their suburban house. “I feel like I’m taking you away from your home and your family.”

“You’re my home,” Changmi replied. She laughed out loud at the slight blush that peppered Yunho’s cheeks and wrapped her arms around him in a hug that said more than words ever could. “And we can fly out and go visit my family on holidays.”

“I think I like you to myself, anyway,” Yunho replied. If Changmi didn’t mind being far away from her family, then Yunho wasn’t going to complain. He had what he wanted. Their wedding was a huge affair; both parents spending ridiculous amounts of money on celebrating their love. Changmi was slightly embarrassed by the show of wealth but Yunho made it better. He always made everything better. 

After four years of marriage, Changmi was woken up by a kiss and after the déjà vu faded, she saw Yunho’s face above her own, smiling. She knew she had made the right decision then and couldn’t help the words spilling out of her mouth. “I want a family.” Yunho’s smiling instantly grew three times brighter and he embraced her like she had just given him the world. 

Their first child, Donghae, was a horror. Changmi was always cranky and demanding and guilty because Yunho was nothing but the doting husband, always understanding and willing to help. But after nine months of grape juice and The Big Valley re-runs, Changmi finally told him it was time. Yunho completely panicked, being the fool Changmi always called him, but managed to hand Changmi off to the doctor before he could do something terribly wrong. Changmi’s family had a medical condition that complicated births so Yunho was not allowed in the birthing room. Changmi’s father – Yunho’s father had died two years prior – patted Yunho on the shoulder and told him it was alright to be scared. Yunho didn’t reply but he laid his head on Changmi’s father’s shoulder and waited for news. 

After hours of waiting, Yunho was told that he was the proud father of a baby boy and he burst into Changmi’s room to find her holding a tiny bundle of love. 

“Is that him?” Yunho asked dumbly. 

“”No,” Changmi replied, sarcastically. “I actually stole him from the nursery.”

“But he’s so tiny,” Yunho said in disbelief. He walked over to his wife and son so he could play with Donghae’s hand. “How is he this tiny?”

“Babies are always tiny, honey,” Changmi replied. She was thoroughly exhausted and quickly fell into sleepy-land but when she woke up, she found Yunho sitting in the chair in the corner, cooing to Donghae. It was one of the most beautiful sights she had ever seen, ranking very close to number one. And Yunho was in every single one of the top ten.

Their three other kids after that were a breeze. Yenny, Jay, and Victoria came into the world with much more ease and much less panic than Donghae. Yunho and Changmi raised their children with love and care but no parent can fully protect their child from the world, nor should they want to. Despite the rest of their busy lives and their children, Yunho and Changmi made sure to make time for each other. After all, it was their love that started all of this. 

Their relationship felt like a final rest after a long and tedious journey. Sure they had their fights, as did any couple, but they also worked those fights out so both parties were satisfied. Yunho never stopped calling her “baby” and Changmi always reminded him where he put everything with a gentle smile. Yunho’s mother said that as long as you never forget to be thankful for the small things, you won’t take your relationship for granted. But Changmi and Yunho never worried about that; they already knew how lucky they were to be together and that something as important as their love should never be taken for granted. Changmi’s friends were jealous of their relationship, saying that Changmi was lying, there was just no way Yunho was that perfect for her. Yunho’s friends all thought Changmi was the perfect wife and tried to steal her away multiple times. There were insecurities and sadness but the times of comfort and love outweighed those times tenfold. Changmi knew, as did Yunho, that as long as they were together, they would be happy. And that’s all that mattered, to them at least. 

Their children on the other hand, were always trying to find the magical element that made their parent’s relationship so perfect. Jay went through girlfriends and boyfriends like toys and Yenny was always broken up with so they wanted to know why Changmi and Yunho’s relationship worked when theirs never did. 

There was a mathematical formula developed in the 2250’s that calculated how compatible you were with someone and how successful your relationship was bound to be. The results came with an entire packet of how compatible you were in certain areas and had advice on how to make the relationship work. The thing people were most interested in, however, was the Sweetheart Number. It basically graded the relationship on multiple criteria and the numbers rated from 0 to 91. The ninety-one represented the longest marriage on record. 

Changmi refused to take it, saying that she didn’t need some piece of paper to tell her that Yunho was her soul mate. Yunho completely agreed but he let his wife rant about “kids these days” and “society running out of faith in good old-fashioned relationships” without saying a word. Nonetheless, their eldest son, Donghae, went into the agency and filled out the forms for them, even providing a DNA sample, just to see the result. The day the results came in the mail, all four children piled around their youngest daughter, Victoria’s, kitchen table. They were expecting a high score but imagine their surprise when they opened the folder to see a giant “91” in huge pink numbers. Their parents were one of the few couples on Earth that were one-hundred percent perfect for each other; at least, that the formula could prove. The agency, Love Connection, had requested that Changmi and Yunho come in and talk about their relationship for research purposes but Yunho waved it off and said that young people should just find their soul mates the normal way; try, try, and try again. 

But that was all a very long time ago and now they were very old and very round. Changmi blamed her amazing home cooking for their chubbiness but Yunho enjoyed it far too much for her to ever stop. The pride that shown though his eyes whenever he watched her cook or presented one of her dishes to someone new warmed Changmi’s heart. She knew that she would spend an eternity in the kitchen just for Yunho alone, not for anyone else.

Today was their family reunion and their great-grandchildren ran around them in excited circles, constantly fighting and making up thirty seconds later to play again. Changmi looked around, content to just watch the life flowing around her and from her. Yunho squeezed her hand, knowing what she was thinking from the look on her face. They had created this, this tree of love and life, and their hearts constantly filled with pride as they appraised their family. 

The day went by without a hitch, Yunho and Changmi giving extra tight hugs when everyone said goodbye. They knew, just as they knew with everything else in their relationship, they could feel that this might be the last time they ever saw their loved ones. If their children noticed their parents’ mood, none of them said anything, too preoccupied with their own spouses and children. When everyone had gone and left, Yunho and Changmi quietly picked up the mess and went to bed, tired from all the action of the day. 

This is it, Changmi thought, as she brushed her teeth and herded her old bones over to their bed. Yunho smiled at her and they pulled back the blanket together before crawling in. Yunho kissed her cracked, tight lips, and it still felt like that first time so many years ago in Seoul. 

“I love you,” Changmi said. 

“I love you too, baby.” Changmi already knew but she never grew tired of hearing it from Yunho’s lips. “Goodnight.” Changmi smiled and closed her eyes, trusting everything to be okay since she was with Yunho. 

They fell asleep holding hands, bodies curled around each other. Changmi and Yunho died that night both physically and spiritually, as their souls were finally at peace after long lives of pain, sorrow, and sadness. But those lives also held great moments of happiness, contentment, and love. They had discovered how to appreciate each other and how to make the best of every moment, every situation as long as they had one another.

Their souls melded together that night, finally together, finally complete. Their energy re-entered the universe to make way for other Destined Ones to stumble through their lives, blindly attempting to find those that would make them whole. Maybe they would break apart again in an entirely different way in a millennium or two and start the cycle all over again but for now, they were at peace. The Earth will continuously change as new souls are created from old and as the Destined Ones try to make a better life for the ones that came after them. The only constant is the human search for love; love of all kinds and of any kind, for all love is pure and equal. And that constant will remain forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this is it y'all! Wha'd you think? What did you love? What did you hate? I have my favorite three chapters (even though I probs shouldn't as the author) so what are your favorite chapters and why?
> 
> I was a little hesitant about putting this chapter up because I didn't want anyone to misunderstand and think I was saying that you had to be in a heterosexual relationship to be perfect. That is NOT what I am saying at all. I just didn't want to have them both be guys two lives in a row. However, as afraid of that backlash as I was, I think that Yunho and Changmin would need than one life to fix everything that was wrong in their relationship. Not to say that TVXQ aren't perfect just the way they are but not in this story. Don't hate me. 
> 
> My next story will be an experimental story on how our actions (no matter how small) affect others and the main focus with be on HoMin, ToBae, and TaecJay with other characters and pairings showing up too. So check that out soon if you're interested. :)


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